New Busch
Well, things are off to a fairly rocky start. A close loss, a really close win, and a drubbing with some longball scattered in it started this whole mess we all love called baseball season. Hopefully the good pitching from the first two games and the good hitting from the last one can be combined in to a successful first trip to New Busch.
Friday, April 10, 7:15 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, April 11, 3:10 p.m. CDT – FOX
Sunday, April 12, 1:15 p.m. CDT – My20
Projected Matchups from Astros.com
Friday
Mike Hampton (No starts yet this year. Career 141-105, 4.01) v. Joel Pineiro (No starts yet this year. 76-67, 4.55)
It’s finally here: The return of Mike Hampton. I’ve been looking forward to this since hearing we’d resigned him. If he can stay healthy, I really think he might surprise some folks. The only guys with any sustained success against Hampy are Albert Pujols (7-21, 2 HR) and and Spicoli (3-7). All the other current Turdinals either have less than 5 at-bats or little success.
Pineiro bread is a chain of bakery-café restaurants in the United States and Canada which sells breads, sandwiches, soups, salads, bakery items, and organic foods; some locations offer dinner pizzas. Pineiro is considered a “fast casual” restaurant and offers catering as well. And now it’s time for some good news: The Good Guys beat Piniero like a rented donkey (Note: The Series Preview Staff does not condone the beating of donkeys or any other farm animal… Except alpacas, we HATE Alpacas). Current Astros hit him to the tune of .308, with rock star numbers coming from Miggy (12-34), Kabong (9-23, 2 homers), Pudge (6-14), and Twinkie (4-11, 2 homers). Not sure what the option will be at 3rd tonight though, since Blum (3-14) and Keppinger (1-5) haven’t had a lot of success against Joel.
Saturday
Roy Oswalt (0-1, 3.86) v. Adam Wainwright (0-0, 3.38)
RoyO didn’t exactly impress anyone with his first start. Giving up home runs to hated FTCs Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez is not a good way to start the season for anybody. Why the hell does anyone ever throw Soriano a fastball over the plate? I’ll never understand it. But, I digest. The Cardinals sport a team average of .239 against Roy. The only real bright spots for them are Albert Pooholes (22-70, 4 homers), Rick Ankiel (4-13, all singles), and Jason Larue (8-29, all singles). Everyone else pretty much sucks rocks against Roy, which isn’t too surprising.
Wainwright pitched ok in his first start of the year for the Redbirds. He struck out 7, but walked 5. He only gave up 2 runs, but he only lasted 5 1/3 innings. He left with the game tied, but the Card bullpen managed to piss the game away to the Pirates in the 9th. Oh, and his middle name is Parrish. The Astros have decent numbers against Adam: Puma (6-20, 2 HR), Pence (5-17 with a solo pokey), Kaz (4-12, also a solo tater), and Miggy (3-10, all singles). Today would probably be a good day to either sit Carlos Lee in reality or at least on your fantasy team, he sports an ugly .077 batting average against Wainwright, one hit in thirteen at bats. Woof. And Jason Michaels should probably pinch hit at some point in this game while Wainwright is in, since his only at bat against Wainwright is a grand slam.
Sunday
Wandy Rodriguez (0-0, 1.50) v. Kyle Loshe (1-0, 2.57)
Wandy picked up right where he left off last year, throwing 6 solid innings and wiggling out of trouble virtually unscathed every time things got ugly. The bullpen robbed him in of his W, but I for one thought he pitched great. Current Cardinals sport an even lower batting average against Wandy than to do against Roy at .234. Troy Glaus (4-13, but on the DL), Chris Duncan (2-6, home run), and Yadi Molina (6-21) are the only Cards with any real success against Wandy. The rest of the CoArds struggle pretty mightily against him: Pujols (3-18), Ryan Ludwick (3-13), Ankiel (0-9), and an assortment of ugly low numbers beyond that.
Kyle Lohse sucks.
The Good Guys hit Kyle pretty well: Carlos Lee (19-51, 4 home runs), Pudge (11-29), Miggy (8-24), Pence!!! (7-16), and Blum (5-15, with a homer). Twinkie struggles against Lohse (5-21, but 2 home runs), and Bourn (0-8) outright sucks against him. Erstad (4-22) hasn’t fared much better. Notable Giveaways This Series… Friday – Anheuser Busch Wall Calendars Saturday – Ice Mountain Kids Cap Day (Don’t ask me, I don’t have a fucking clue) Sunday – Rawlings Ryan Ludwick Bat Day. Sounds like another fun round of “throw your free shit on the field, Saint Louis” to me!
Injury Report
So, in case you didn’t notice, MLB.com went to a new format for their injury report. The injury link takes you to a page with every team’s report on it. Pretty snazzy, until one notices that it says “Fantasy Baseball” at the top of it. Fuckers.
Houston – Aaron Boone is out for the year, recovering from a broken heart. Brandon Backe is on the 15 Day DL with a strained intercostal muscle. He’s due back (hopefully) in early May. I don’t know what the Astros are going to do with him once he gets back, but hey, I’m sure they’ll think of something nice. Maybe we can bring him on as interpreter for Roy O. I don’t know about y’all, but when they interview Roy I only understand about every third word he says. It’s like talking to Boomhauer.
STL – Chris Carpenter is listed as day to day with a mild calf strain. But really, aren’t we all day to day? Jaime Garcia is on the 15 Day DL after undergoing Tommy John surgery. They expect him back around mid-season. Troy Glaus is also on the 15 Day DL with some shoulder ligament damage. He isn’t expected back until “Possibly June”.
Our Interesting Things To Look For
- Man I hate the fucking Cubs. Opening day was a blast, but it just made me want to puke every time I saw one of those slapdicks walking around in Cubs gear. I guess that’s neither here nor there, but I had to get it off my chest.
- To be fair, I don’t like the Redbirds much either. Bunch of smug bastards, calling themselves the best fans in baseball and flapping their asses at anyone that doesn’t think Albert Pujols is the greatest baseball player to ever date his Coach.
Discuss today’s game in the GameZone, but for Christ’s sake don’t make a Clark mistake and start pissing all over the BBG’s shoes right before the game.
