The 2nd half of the season that is. Despite the fact the Good Guys (and everyone else) have played more than half of their games already, the All Star Break is over, and we’re off and running toward an unpleasant ending in the Central divison, no matter how you cut it. 13 full games back. Fuck. And to make things even more exciting, myself and the old man will be in attendance for the series. So if you see someone getting arrested with the severed heads of several Cub fans in his hands, thats probably me. Apologies if this is short and not sweet, but we gotta hit the road soon.
Minute Maid Park
Friday July 18, 7:05pm FSN (HD)
Saturday July 19, 6:05 FSN (HD)
Sunday July 20, 1:05 Mylilstation “HD”
Pitching Matchup From Astros.com
Friday
Ted Lilly (9-6, 4.68) vs Brian Moehler (5-4, 4.28)
Lilly’s record is not terribly indicitave of his performance so far this year. He’s been knocked around a fair amount, but the Cub offense has bailed him out more than once. His last start was pretty awful, going 2 2/3 innings while giving up a pair of homers and 4 total runs against the Reds. What else do you need to know? He’s a fucking Cub. He sucks.
Moehler has been nothing but solid as the Astro fifth starter this year. Unfortunately, the Astros have three fifth starters in the rotation this year, and sadly, Moehler has probably been the best of the bunch. He got a W over the Pirates in a Mohlerish start before the Break, giving up 4 runs but keeping the Good Guys in the game. Fuck the Cubs.
Saturday
Carlos Zambrano (10-3, 2.84… are you fucking kidding me?) vs. Wandy Rodriguez (4-3, 3.48)
Fuck Carlos Zambrano. I hate that whiny fat bastard. If the field microphones pick up just a constant stream of cussing during this game, that will definitely be me.
Wandy has developed in to a solid third in the rotation type pitcher this year, which normally would be good news, but with this staff… Woof. I hope like hell Home Wandy shows up tonight.
Sunday
Ryan Dempster (10-4, 3.25) vs. Brandon Backe (6-9, 4.76)
Jesus Christ, how many suck ass pitchers do the Cubs have that are having career years? Ryan Dempster? Really? If I have to watch the Astros get dominated by Ryan Dempster for seven innings on Sunday, I’m going to be PISSED. The only good news, Dempster got rocked pretty good in his last start, taking his first loss at Wrigley this season. Here’s to his continued suckatude.
Brandon’s season has been up and down. He’s pitched some really good games, but he’s really thrown a couple of stinkers too. His last start, against the Nats, was a beauty: Seven innings of shutout ball, scattering 5 hits. The start before that was delayed by rain, leading to a no decision. Big Game Backe needs to make an appearance today, and make Ryan Dempster pay for his sins (read: being a Goddamn Cub).
Nothing but fireworks Friday. Saturday though, oh baby! Taking you back to 1993 when you were riding the bus to Junior High School and desperately needed some way to listen to Nirvana on your Walkman without anyone noticing, RETRACTABLE HEADPHONES! Sunday is Canon Photo Day, which means the first 2500 people in the stadium get a Photo Book.
Injury Report
Cubs – Angel Guzman is on the 60 day DL. The Cubs site doesn’t have an actual injury listed as to why, so I’m just going to assume he has the Clap. Scott Eyre strained his groin… Probably while giving Guzman the Clap. And Alfonzo Soriano is on the DL with a broken bone in his hand… Which means he probably can’t Clap.
Astros – Paulino was getting lonely on the DL until Q decided to take a bat to the back of the noggin. Humberto should be about ready to come off the DL. Oswalt isn’t on the DL, but his hip is all fucked up still. The Stros are hoping he can come back and start pitching next week.
Our Interesting Things to Look For
- Hordes of Goddamn Cub fans all over Minute Maid Park, and me doing battle with every single one of the pasty faced douchebags that I hear chanting “Lets Go Cubbies” while slopping smuggled Old Style in a flask all over themselves.
- Which team shows up for the second half? The early season Astros that mashed the ball and had just enough pitching, or the middle season Astros, that pretty much sucked on ice?
- Like stated before, myself and the Coach and a few of our friends are making our annual trip down to catch a weekend series. If you want to grab a beer with the Raup family, shoot me an email at [email protected] I’ll have my Blackberry with me all weekend.
- FUCK THE CUBS!