If Miss Cleo had announced in spring training that, at the All-Star break, the Astros’ No. 1 and No. 2 starters would be 11-14 and the Cardinals’ No. 3 and No. 4 hitters would have 55 home runs, most people would’ve expected Houston to be eating St. Louis’ dust. Instead, at 50-44, the Astros sit precariously atop the Central Division, leading the Cardinals by one game and the Cubs by three games.
Predictions, my friend. Predictions.
When we last saw your Houston Astros, they were busy accomplishing their season-long goal of clinching the season series with the Pittsburgh Pie-roots. This “outstanding” accomplishment also allowed the Stros to relax during the All-Star Break with a one game lead over the Co-ardinals of San Louie and three games over the hapless Cubs.Read More
2003
When we started this website 9 months ago, we had one goal in mind?to waste your time as well as our own. Thanks to you, the loyal TalkZone denizens, we’ve done just that. The fact that you stuck with us through the heartbreak of losing the legendary Astrosconnection, the “dark ages” before we were up and running, and the early trials and tribulations of getting this puppy off the ground is testament to not only your enthusiasm and loyalty but to your lack of responsibility as well. So with coming of the first All-Star Break in OrangeWhoopAss history, so too arrives the very first annual Academy of OrangeWhoopass Arts and Sciences Awards, or simply, The “Waldos”.
Before we proceed, it’s necessary to say a few words about our legendary mentors, the Batman to our Robin, the Yogi to our BooBoo, the George Washington to our Alexander Hamilton?.Kevin and Scott. Kev and Scott not only filled our brains with guidance and strategy, but they have also graciously allowed the use of many of the TZ features that we have all come to know and love. Their generosity has allowed such classics as Pine Tar Rag and Bleacher Rap to continue to delight and thrill audiences from coast to coast. For that, we are forever grateful. Party on, dudes!
And now, without further adieu, we proudly present the winners of the inaugural Waldo Awards?the envelope please?
WORST PRESEASON PREDICTION
Cam Bonifay
During the regularly scheduled preseason pooping matches and sizing up of the competition, the renowned Pirates fan boldly made this prognostication:
“Well the Pirates will finish above Houston, but the Reds and Cubs above Houston is a stretch.”
BEST OLD MAN SMACK
Andyzipp
After getting all nostalgic, wondering about destination of his lost youth, Jim R pondered, “was I ever 23?” Andy fired back:
“No, you were XXIII”Read More
By Jacksonian
June 10, 2003Read More
We are now past the 1/3rd pole (and I am not referring to Jose Canseco’s ‘roid impaired peepee) and things are starting to crystalise in the NL Central:
Amazingly, this could’ve been written at this point in any of the last 3 or 4 seasons. In fact, it probably was, by me, but with AC off the air you’ll never be able to prove nothing. And if you do, I’ll just claim that I use this passage for typing practice and never intended to put it in an actual column.Read More
By Michael N
April 3, 2003
Read More
