During my enforced absence from the TZ at the end of the season (no, I was not sulking or crying in a corner) I’m sure you’ve all picked clean the bones of the Astros’ unsuccessful 2003 campaign. I have read a little of what’s been posted but, after perusing the recent ZipperFlap, I decided that plowing through all of it would be futile, painful and probably not a little annoying. That’s not to say that I think you lot are full of it and that I’m the only one with the answers. It’s simply that I have confidence that those debates which could come to a conclusion have done so without my assistance or interference; and those that haven’t probably never will.

My Two Cents

Of course, as an EgoColumnist, I am tasked with inflicting my thoughts upon you (cracking some shit jokes in the process). So here goes: Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was performing a fitness test on its dodgy groin.Read More

This just in: The Reds suck. They say that pitching and defense win championships, and Cincy has none of either. I now wouldn’t be surprised to see them finish last in the pool of drowning souls that is the NL Central. Call me a homer, but I see the Astros as the only team that has adequate function in all of its limbs. The Co-ards have concerns about 4/5ths of their rotation and most of the bullpen; the Cubs (last night excepted) cannot score runs despite Sammy’s recork…errr…suregence; the Reds…well…we’ve just seen how inept they are at most aspects of this game; the Pirates are dealing away anything of value and weren’t very good before anyway; and the Brewers – surprisingly my pick of the best of the also-rans – will never really challenge for the top but may well finish 4th (a lofty height for them).

Of course, a run of fixtures like the Astros are enjoying will make any half-decent team look like the Yankees. There should be no apologies for this. The Astros can only play who they are told to play, and the Jakes get to see the same shit eventually. When it’s all panned out in September, someone will win and someone will not and there can be no crying over the schedule. What is making the difference right now is the Astros record in their division: +14 compared to +3 for STL. When you consider that the head-to-head is 6-5 in favour of the Astros, you realise what a god job they’ve done dispatching the Central. They’re doing what it takes to win the division and that’s what this part of the season is all about.Read More