We are now past the 1/3rd pole (and I am not referring to Jose Canseco’s ‘roid impaired peepee) and things are starting to crystalise in the NL Central:
- The Brewers suck. Maybe not as much as they have in recent times, but they still suck.
- The Pirates suck. Maybe not as much as they have in recent times, but they still suck.
- The Reds have been upgraded from “Harmless” to “Mostly Harmless”; and The Red Messiah continues to be printed onto the list of the disabled.
- The Jakes still play the Astros hard, and still consider it their God-given right to win each year because their fans are the self-declared best in baseball (whilst simultaneously booing Tino Martinez).
- The Cubs are a joke.
Amazingly, this could’ve been written at this point in any of the last 3 or 4 seasons. In fact, it probably was, by me, but with AC off the air you’ll never be able to prove nothing. And if you do, I’ll just claim that I use this passage for typing practice and never intended to put it in an actual column.
What is odd this year is that for the first time since I started watching them, the Astros have stumbled across a bullpen that works. Not just works, dominates! Who knew that an accumulation of also-rans and retreads from the minors would be the rock upon which the current division challenge is being mounted? OK, so Wagner and Dotel were a given, and Lidge came with high hopes. But Puffer? Munro? Bland? Saarloos? When did these guys learn to bear down and record major league outs? When the starting pitching was rough, the boys in the pen stepped up. I tip my elbow to you chaps!
Now the relievers are enjoying (or maybe not enjoying) a well deserved rest as the starters have come to the fore. It was going to be a long season if Dr. Kellogg (and, by the way, what’s up with the shaved head/goatee thing?) remained the most consistent a reliable starter. Luckily for us, Miller and Oswalt are beginning to sort their shit out and look like the one-two punch we expected to see. The back end is still a little wobbly – and no I am not talking about Hidalgo – but Robertson has done quite nicely thank you and #5 really isn’t worth worrying about as long as it isn’t Lima.
The defense got a huge cork insert when Everett was handed the job at short. He has been nothing less than outstanding now that he’s making plays without looking over his shoulder at Lugo. He makes Kent look good too, and those two can turn a pretty double play. Speaking of Kent, his defense has been at times fantastic and at times schoolboyish. He’s been AWOL on few plays, most notably on a game saving put out by Everett, but he was also nowhere in the vicinity of the bag on Tuesday night when Ensberg was poised to double off an Oriole after snagging a sharp liner. I think that we’ll just have to learn to get used to his hit and miss defense, which won’t be too hard if he maintains his hit and hit offense.
Biggio is settling into center field and is allaying a lot of the noodle arm fears that some of us had. He’s getting better breaks on the ball now, and I even saw him back up on a skier so that he could snag it with forward momentum (he didn’t because he mistimed it, but he made the catch and throw anyway). He’s not going to be firing lasers into the diamond any time soon…or ever…but he hits the cut off man which is at least satisfactory.
Then there’s Morgan Ensberg. What on earth…? The kid is playing sterling defense – certainly good enough to not miss Blum’s Bazooka firing across the infield – and he has flat out delivered at the plate. OK, so the curtain call after his salami was a little busch…errr…bush, but he was doing it for the fans and there’s really nothing bad about doing something wrong as long as it pleases the fans, right kids?
What else…? Oh yeah, has Redding finished his last outing yet? Fuck me he’s slow. Maybe he saw “Bang the Drum Slowly” and took the title literally.
Agent Orange
I have decided to feature a ragging of the opposition pitchers in each Limey Time. Sub-titled “The Todd Jones Award”, I shall be adorning the worst opposing pitcher I can remember seeing since my last column with the tag “Agent Orange”. This week’s winner is every Astros’ hitter’s favourite Baltimore Oriole Buddy Groom. With the Astros trailing going into the bottom of the eighth he dished out 2 hits and a walk, and allowed 3 earned runs while retiring no one to spark a 6-run deluge that earned him the loss in the series opener. Scott Sauerbeck is very grateful to you Buddy, well done.