By Craig Elliott
The Astros are returning from an uninspiring roadtrip, though it was fun to see the lolly-gagging Stem stepping on their own dicks Sunday. Now it’s back home for a series with the dipshit Reds, who are somehow still leading the wildcard race. But there are two months left in the season, and I don’t think Cincinnati can hold onto the lead. Now would be a good time for the Astros to thump the punkass Reds and send the overachievers back to the bottom of the Ohio River where they belong.
The Reds have lost their last two series, though they swept four games from the Rukkakies right after the All-Star Break. They’re still barely holding onto the wildcard lead, but right now there are really only three NL teams (gNats, Cubs, Pirates) who are out of it. The Astros are 5 games behind Cincinnati, tied with L.A. and Colorado.
If the Astros’ marketing team were on the ball, we’d be seeing Sheriff Blaylock’s Authentic Chili Night right about now, with complimentary chocolate bars and packets of cinnamon to throw at Cincinnati players. Of course they’d probably just collect it all and save it for the next Greater Cincinnati Three-Way Cornhole Tournament.
When:
Tuesday, July 25, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, July 26, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Thursday, July 27, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
MLB Extra Innings – Looks like no broadcast Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday’s games will be on Fox Southwest.
Where: MMPUS
Thundersticks and chatterbats, whatever those are, will be the chief giveaways this weekend. I’ve never seen either of those things in action, but I have a hunch they are most effective when being pounded on the Reds’ dugout roof. While chanting “Jun-i-yooooor … come out to play-ee-ay!”