It is standard in my personal baseball watching experience to not really care about anything that happens with the Astros before Memorial Day. A time honored tradition, this dates back to the earliest days of organized baseball when grown men named “Babe”, “Rube”, “Dummy” and “Sparkletits” roamed the base paths and would routinely take at least the first several weeks to sweat out the drunk they had been working on since the long hard New England Winter set in.Read More
We’ve endured years of this shit. Most of the oughts, in fact, have been plagued with an offense so anemic that it makes Powder look like George Hamilton. I understand that there was a need to make over the pitching staff after The Debacle of 2000, and I applaud the club’s efforts in that vein. Pitching and defense wins championships, they say, and the Astros made their only World Series appearance behind some tremendous pitching.
Pitching…Pitching…isn’t there another part to that? Oh yeah, defense. WTF? The Astros have staffed themselves with an infield, outfield and bench that can either hit a ball, or catch a ball, but not both. So when you put a “hands team” out there you lose a squeaker and when you put the “stick team” out there you lose a laugher. By “laugher”, I mean a Shakespearean tragedy where the Fates are all PMSing simultaneously and the poor sod on the mound hesitated when they asked him if they looked fat.
Currently, and obviously, Biggio is the everyday starter at 2B and will be until he gets #3,000. This is a fact of life, as is his statuesque defense and noodle arm. But consider the options: Burke is a solid glove man (at this position) but is currently lighting up AAA pitching to the tune of .170, and he is in no way, shape or form a leadoff hitter (he may also have an small desert in his vagina). Loretta can hit and defend, and maybe even lead off, but then who bridges the enormous gap between hitting and fielding exhibited by the other candidates for 3B?Read More
by Alkie
This season promises to be unlike any season we’ve ever seen before. Mostly because that’s how linear time works. Spring Training is winding down and the rotations are almost set. Except for the last spot. And the spot before that.
As everyone puts together their fantasy team (for some reason) and gets out the ol’ Rainbow Gut from the mothballs, I notice people paying good money to buy predictions at other websites on how this season will play out. Well, fuck that! As part of my good will toward man (and child), I will offer these 101% guarantees for the 2007 season, absolutely free to you, the listener.Read More
If newly acquired starting pitcher Jason Jennings can repeat something close to his 2006 season in 2007, then the Astros will have found a counterpart for Roy Oswalt in the starting rotation comparable to what Carlos Lee adds to Lance Berkman in the batting order.
The best time of my life began with a disappointment. Although my 1997 Austin McCallum High School Knights returned starters at catcher, shortstop, second base, and right field, a front-line reserve at first base, and a bonus baby-major-leaguer-to-be pitcher/third baseman, we finished third in our district. Fortunately, for the first time the Texas University Interscholastic League allowed three teams from each district to advance to the playoffs leading to the State Tournament. After barely surviving a scary game against a weak opponent in the final district game, the Knights clinched third place and prepared to enter the playoffs, thanks to the UIL’s new rule. The season that began with so much promise escaped being a disaster by the smallest of margins, and although we were a 17-8 playoff team, my disappointment in our finish was almost tangible.Read More
The 2005 Astros finished 11th in the National League with 4.3 runs per game. The 2006 Astros rank even worse at 15th in the National League, although they?re scoring slightly more than last season, with 4.5 runs per game.
