Lose 100th Game in Embarrassing Fashion, 10-0

W: Mike “5-finger” Leake (14-6)

L: Jordan “Punching Bag” Lyles (7-8)

Contributed by Reuben

I really don’t know what to think about Jordan Lyles at this point. I like the kid, and I believe all the people who see #2 starter potential in him. But he’s gone backwards this year. And at some point you have to wonder if he’s one of those once-promising starters who just can’t cut it as a starter. Maybe he could find himself in the bullpen, maybe even become an elite setup man or closer.

Brian Matusz comes to mind as a recent example, although there are certainly many others. Matusz was once rated the 5th-best prospect in all of baseball by BA, but in parts of 4 MLB seasons as a starter, he had a 5.51 ERA, 1.56 WHIP. Since the Orioles moved him to the ‘pen last year, he has a 2.95 ERA, 1.03 WHIP, and his K rate has gone from 7.1 per 9 to 9.4.

I have no idea if Lyles would be better off in the bullpen – I’m very far from a pitching expert – but the fact that he’s only 22 years old becomes less reassuring the more backward steps he takes. In fact, most of his numbers this year are the same, or slightly worse, than his rookie year in 2011. Maybe pitching out of the bullpen he could find that extra 2-3 mph on his fastball that would enable him to get away with all the mistake pitches he seems to leave up in the zone. I don’t know. God knows this team could use another good reliever.

I have to admit, I turned this game off after the 5th inning. Instead, we watched the rest of a Werner Herzog documentary, Happy People: A Year In The Taiga. Don’t let the dubious title fool you, this is a wonderful film. It explores the lives and practices of Russian trappers in Siberia. These people already live in an extremely remote village most of the year, way out in an isolated, icy area that can only be reached by boat or helicopter. Then, during the winter, they leave their families and trek up to their tiny hunting cabins with their dogs and a winter’s worth of supplies, living in a completely self-reliant manner for months. Sounds boring to watch, perhaps, but to me it was fascinating. And beautiful. For the most part Herzog lets the trappers, and the visuals, do the talking. I highly recommend it. It’s on Netflix.

Anyway, I couldn’t resist the urge to tack on this apropos screen-grab from the game:

ASTROLINA 9
Angel 7

contributed by NeilT

“Why should I trust you Grimhilde?” She sat in a back booth in the Four Seasons bar near MMPUS. Across from her sat Grimhilde, the Evil Queen from Anaheim, that damned Disney town. 33. Grimhilde said she was 33, but everyone knew she suffered from Dominican Aging Syndrome. She looked at least 34, maybe 35, and now when she looked in her magic mirror it no longer said she was the most beautiful in the land.

Just one of the higher paid.

***

Keuchel started for the Stros. He got two outs in the 5th, and by then he’d given up six earned runs. Pretty ugly.

***

She was there before Grimhilde’s show, when she would sing her songs from the island and dance the hokey-pokey. “Astrolina, how long you be knowing me, you? You be knowing me for so long, since I was nothing but a baby princess from the islands, singing and dancing on the island of St. Louee. You trust me, yes? Okee-dokey, you don’t trust me, but I tell you, my labia is torn, me. I cannot even play more this season, me.” She was dressed for her show. She was a first baseman from the Dominican, a voodoo queen who was on the DL. She was a former star who was now just trying to hold it together, and all she could do was sing and dance.

***

Angel was pretty ugly too. Vargas gave up a 3-run, 2-out homer to Altuve in the 3rd. That’s 5 HR for Altuve. Vargas was run in the 4th when Crowe scored Barnes and Clark on a single.

Clark had his first major league hit. That was special.

In the 5th Dominguez, with 20 home runs for the season, hit a grand slam. Astrolina is a little bit in love with Dominguez.

***

“So what you’re telling me is that it’s not just Angel, it’s not even Boss Rat, there’s someone else who dumped me in the house by Limey’s, pumped full of coconut water and antidepressants?”

***

Then there were some Astros bullpen shenanigans. DeLeon had to give up a hit and a walk in the 6th before he could get his final out. Chapman pitched an inning with a HBP, 2 walks, and a hit. Zeid got out of the inning but not without giving up a run on a walk. A run on a walk.

***

“I be telling, you, me. There is a man, we know this in the clubhouse, an evil man. The Evil Queen, me?

I am certainly holding on to my beauty however I can, but this man, this man he scare me. He is a bad bad man. Bud they say. Bud they say is behind it all.”

***

FIELDS!!!

2K in the 9th. Astros clinch the season, at least between Astrolina and Angel.

Peacock struts his stuff in Astros 6 – 1 victory.

WP: Peacock (5-5)
LP: Maurer (4-8)
S: Zeid (1)

Contributed by Sphinx Drummond

After getting swept at home by the scum-laden seafarers to end last month, the Astros reversed the tide and returned the favor Wednesday in front of a sparse Seattle crowd by sweeping the Swabbies in their home ballpark. As the worst team in MLB it’s great anytime you get a win, but it’s really sweet to pick up a sweep on the road. It must really suck for the home team when that happens.

Brad Peacock was kind of brilliant in his 6 innings of work, striking out 4 while allowing only 3 hits. The only score by the salty dogs was a fourth inning solo shot by Kendrys Morales. The Astros’ Kevin Chapman pitched a scoreless inning and two thirds, and Josh Fields finished the last inning and a third to pick up his first save.

The Good Guys scored all their runs in two innings, totaling two in the second inning and three in the third. Symmetry. Dominguez, Altuve, Paredes, and Kraus all ended the night with two hits. Carter drove in two of the 5 runs. He has 77 RBIs for the year and is now hitting .222 with an OBP of .321.

If my calculations are correct the Astros finish the year against the Mariners at 9 wins and 10 losses. For what it is worth, the Astros have a 9 and 7 mark against the Angels with three games left to play. With two Wednesday wins in a row, the Astros have raised their Wodansday record to an excellent 14 and 9 on the year. Thanks Wodan.

Thursday is a travel day and Friday the Astros begin the previously mentioned three game series at home against the Angels. Brett Oberholtzer takes the mound for the Astros who’ll face Jason Vargas of the Angels.

Time: 3:00
Attendance: 11,656
Weather: 80 degrees

Astros 13, Mariners 2

W: Lyles (7-7)
L: Saunders (11-14)

Contributed by Reuben

September 10, 2013.
Late evening.

Jonathan Villar started the game off with a bang, walloping his first big league homer on the very first pitch from Seattle’s grizzled lefty, Joe Saunders. The no-doubt blast from the Astros’ swift-footed leadoff man set the tone for a fun, fulfilling game for the offense. Chris Carter had 3 hits, and got his average above .220 (what I like to call “The Deer Line”). Altuve got his back over .280, and stole 3 bases. Dominguez collected a couple hits. Hoes had a couple, and knocked in 3. Villar walked and stole 2nd and 3rd over the course of 3 pitches. And Lyles, with 6 innings of 1-earned-run ball, got his ERA back below 5.

Actually, these figures may not all be accurate, because as I write this, the game is not over. Being on the East Coast, I have to draw the line somewhere, and tonight, 12:30 is it. So I’m just really hoping that when I get up in the morning, I’ll find that the 8-2 lead the Astros had built by the top of the 7th inning was, indeed, bullpen-proof. Because if not, well, that would be kind of a crappy start to the day, wouldn’t it?

The following morning.

Whoa. 13-2. Yeah…that’ll do. Good way to start the day.

White Elephants 7, Astros 5

contributed by NeilT

We are such pikers. Bitch, bitch, bitch about a couple or three losing seasons, and it ain’t even in it. Now the As, there’s some losing.

Connie Mack (1862-1956) came to the A’s in 1901, the year the American League was formed. He had spent three years, 1894-1896, as a player-manager for the Pittsburgh Pirates, which were in the old National League—you may recall the National League—with a combined win/loss record of 149-134, for a .529 winning percentage. There’s nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. He then managed the Milwaukee Brewers, which as you know are a minor league team.

For his first seven years as a manager, Mack won 571 games and lost only 425, for a combined winning percentage of .571. His teams won the AL pennant twice, in 1902 (83-53, .610) and 1905 (92-56, .622). Over 162 games, a .622 winning percentage is 100 wins. In that year, 1905, the A’s met the Giants in the second World Serious. The first was 1903, but John McGraw refused to participate in 1904, so none was held. The Giants won the series, 4-1, and Christy Mathewson pitched and won three games. If the series had been seven games, Mathewson would probably have won four. All three games were complete game shutouts.

Of John McGraw, Mack later said “There has been only one manager, and his name is John McGraw.” Of Connie Mack, John McGraw had said in 1902 that Mack had a real white elephant on his hands.

In 1908, Mack had his first losing season, 68-85, .444. In 1909, the A’s had a 95-58 record, but it was only good enough for second to Detroit. Washington went 41-111 that year, which over 162 games would have been 45 wins, 117 losses. I feel for them.

That was ok though. In 1910, 1911, and 1913, the Elephants won the World Series, once against the Cubs and twice against the Giants. From that team, Frank Baker, Chief Bender, Eddie Collins, Herb Pennock, and Eddie Plank are in the Hall. And Mack, of course. They won the AL pennant in 1914, but lost the Series to the Boston Braves, who came from last place in late July to win the NL pennant. There’s something to be said for momentum.

In 1915, things happened. Connie Mack apparently was not a particularly good businessman. Is there a word for anti-prescient? Here’s Mack’s take on ticket prices: “The game has kept faith with the public, maintaining its old admission price for nearly thirty years while other forms of entertainment have doubled and tripled in price. And it will probably never change.”

Ticket prices were apparently not raised, and his television revenue was small, so in 1915 Mack sold off his players to make ends meet. From 1915 to 1924 the Athletics had losing seasons, for a total win-loss record of 528-961. Over a period of 10 years, that’s a win-loss percentage of .354. Did I mention that managers can no longer have an ownership interest in teams? Do you think the fans were pissed? Do you think there were any fans?

How low can you go? In 1916, the White Elephants won 36, lost 117. That’s a winning percentage of .235. They sucked.

In 1925, things turned around, and Mack put together one of the great baseball dynasties. There were old players, Ty Cobb, Zack Wheat, and Eddie Collins, and young players, Mickey Cochrane, Lefty Grove, Al Simmons, and Jimmie Foxx. Mack’s A’s won the AL pennant for three straight years, 1929, 1930, and 1931, and the World Series in 1929 (Cubs) and 1930 (Cardinals). They lost the Series to the Cardinals in 1931. You may recall the Cardinals. They still play in the National League.

In 1933, having failed to raise ticket prices and in the midst of the Great Depression, Mack sold his players off again. He would manage the A’s for 17 more years, from 1933 to 1950, and during that period he would see three .500+ seasons, 1947-1949. Barely 500+. Overall during that period he would lose 1,489 games and win 986. That’s a winning percentage of .398. Seventeen years.

Mack managed the A’s for 50 years. He holds the record for most games lost, 3,814. He also holds the record for most games won, 3,731. By the end, most things had apparently passed Mack by. From Wikipedia: “as he entered his 80s, his mental state became increasingly questionable. Mack would make strange decisions (which his coaches and players usually overruled) and call out for players from decades earlier to pinch-hit. He spent most games asleep in the dugout, leaving his coaches to run the team most of the time.” He was calling up pinch hitters from teams 20 years gone, like ghosts in the dugout.

One final Mack quote, when he retired: “I’m not quitting because I’m getting old, I’m quitting because I think people want me to.”

Meanwhile Astros lost last night, putting the A’s first in their division. Wait, our division. I keep forgetting. Keuchel gave up 5 runs in 3 1/3 innings, with 10 hits and 2 walks. Keuchel thought he was getting squeezed. Humber went 3 2/3 and gave up two more runs. Lo pitched a scoreless hitless 8th.

The ‘Stros bats were active. Villar went 3 for 5 with one double. Altuve, Crow, and Wallace all had two hits.

The good guys are now 47-94. From 1901 to 1950, the A’s had less than 47 wins three times, so hey, it’s not so bad.