ASTROLINA 9
Angel 7
contributed by NeilT
“Why should I trust you Grimhilde?” She sat in a back booth in the Four Seasons bar near MMPUS. Across from her sat Grimhilde, the Evil Queen from Anaheim, that damned Disney town. 33. Grimhilde said she was 33, but everyone knew she suffered from Dominican Aging Syndrome. She looked at least 34, maybe 35, and now when she looked in her magic mirror it no longer said she was the most beautiful in the land.
Just one of the higher paid.
***
Keuchel started for the Stros. He got two outs in the 5th, and by then he’d given up six earned runs. Pretty ugly.
***
She was there before Grimhilde’s show, when she would sing her songs from the island and dance the hokey-pokey. “Astrolina, how long you be knowing me, you? You be knowing me for so long, since I was nothing but a baby princess from the islands, singing and dancing on the island of St. Louee. You trust me, yes? Okee-dokey, you don’t trust me, but I tell you, my labia is torn, me. I cannot even play more this season, me.” She was dressed for her show. She was a first baseman from the Dominican, a voodoo queen who was on the DL. She was a former star who was now just trying to hold it together, and all she could do was sing and dance.
***
Angel was pretty ugly too. Vargas gave up a 3-run, 2-out homer to Altuve in the 3rd. That’s 5 HR for Altuve. Vargas was run in the 4th when Crowe scored Barnes and Clark on a single.
Clark had his first major league hit. That was special.
In the 5th Dominguez, with 20 home runs for the season, hit a grand slam. Astrolina is a little bit in love with Dominguez.
***
“So what you’re telling me is that it’s not just Angel, it’s not even Boss Rat, there’s someone else who dumped me in the house by Limey’s, pumped full of coconut water and antidepressants?”
***
Then there were some Astros bullpen shenanigans. DeLeon had to give up a hit and a walk in the 6th before he could get his final out. Chapman pitched an inning with a HBP, 2 walks, and a hit. Zeid got out of the inning but not without giving up a run on a walk. A run on a walk.
***
“I be telling, you, me. There is a man, we know this in the clubhouse, an evil man. The Evil Queen, me?
The Evil Queen
***
FIELDS!!!
2K in the 9th. Astros clinch the season, at least between Astrolina and Angel.