May 10, 2004
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Mac Davis Says Hello
I was just 15 and out of control…
15 games into the season…seems about time to overreact about some things. I feel fully justified because I was able to avoid ranting about things after the first 2 games like some of the folks around here.
It’s easy to kick people when they’re down, and lower than the guy who sells Paula Abdul her pain killers right now would accurately describe Tim Redding. Last season, several people thought was when Redding turned the corner, myself included. But dude seems to have no clue what in the hell he’s doing on the mound so far in 2004. The story from the Astros, at least during the spring, was that Redding had matured and the temper tantrums, diaper wetting and teeth cutting were a thing of the past. And yet, he’s still going all Apprentice Sam whenever anything goes wrong.Read More
In the Pipe, Five-by-Five
It took a couple of days, but after Clemens grabbed hold of the Can o’ OrangeWhoopAss and shook it up on April 7, the Astros have been riding a wave. Who knows how long this run will continue, or if it will still be ongoing by the time this piece is posted, but 9-2 since that glorious day is blitzkrieg in its most literal sense.
It has been a joy to watch. For the most part, each facet of the game has picked up the others when they’ve faltered. Admittedly, on two occasions, the defense looks like all 8 position players arrived at the game in one VW Bug, but there have been some games where the leather has been flashing like Vegas at Christmas. Even without the services of Pettitte, the pitching has been fantastic (AP’s fateful start and AutoPop’s ignominious outings notwithstanding). But replacements Backe and Gallo have been great, while Duckworth has taken up enough of the slack to allow the offense to win.
Remember: Short, Controlled Bursts
Oh, the offense! Almost everyone is playing over their head. Biggio’s shorter swing has allowed him to lay off the low-and-away shit yet still give him gap-power. Bagwell claims that his high walk numbers are because he’s fouling off a lot of pitches instead of hitting them, yet he’s still hitting near .400! Hidalgo is just a brute, and must put the fear of FrankenBarry into pitchers at the moment. Berkman has come alive, even poking a granny right-handed (only in a baseball forum is that an acceptable phrase).Read More
Opening Day Ramblings
As bandwagons go, it’s a full one in the Greater Houston area. In the Houston Chronicle, there were 24 pages dedicated to the upcoming baseball season. On talk radio, all the talk is about Opening Day and the Astros, and Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte. At the original El Gallo (did not know there was more than one) there’s a sign up asking Roger to “Get Ready.” To be fair, I assumed that they are talking about Clemens, but they might have an employee named Roger.
For those of you out of town, state or country, there is a palpable excitement around the Astros this season. One that might even survive the Astros starting the first month of the season at or below .500. Personally, I’m not 100% sold on the team as is…some of this may be the 41-year history of the team, and part may be based on the team as is, so suck a salt-lick.Read More
April Foooooooool!
On the eve of baseball in MMPUS, I find myself at a loss for words. Not the words that comprise the rubbish I dump in the TZ on a regular basis, of course, that I can still do. But for the words that comprise the more expansive, grandiloquent rubbish that I serve up as an excuse for an ego column. Much like “The Daily Show” suffering an identity crisis this week when they had Richard Clark in studio: “Are we still a fake news program?”, I find myself with a yen to write a pre-OD column yet I have nothing to say. Does that make me like all the other, allegedly legitimate, online sports journalists? Am I no longer a fake columnist? It’s enough to drive one to drink!
Is this is what Spring Training is like for YankeeFan every year? A roster that’s virtually set? Boringly consistent good play? A comfy execution of the motions required to start the campaign proper? Timely and positive roster moves? I hope that this is merely the product of a spectacularly good off-season by the team’s management, rather than an unspeakable April Fool being shat upon us by the BBGs. To set us up like this, only to rip the rug out would be cruelty beyond reason.
Strangely, I am reminded of a moment from my youth (Warning: rambling, self-aggrandising, allegorical stretch to follow).Read More
The Quiet Storm
“There’s only one thing in the World worse than being talked about, and that’s not being talked about”
Finally, pitchers and catchers reporting for duty has meaning outside of State Penitentiaries. Many of them will be pulling on different uniforms in different backwater shit-holes of Florida and Arizona. Of obvious interest to us but, due to a couple of notable moves made by other clubs, of little interest in the media any more, is the first action seen by Pettitte and Clemens as Astros.
But how far has this story dropped off the media radar scope? Look no further than our own, venerable Houston Chronicle, which leads its baseball section with a photo of Billy Wagner in a Phillies’ valet parking uni practicing his very necessary self-defense skills.
To be honest, the recent indifference of the media to the Astros is not a problem. When they focus the watery half-light of their collective intellect on our team, they invariably miss the point, re-hash old cliches and get things flat out wrong. Who needs that? Plus, when it comes to missed points, tired cliches and inaccuracy, one needs to look no further than Limey Time.Read More