SEASONS IN HELL Vol. I, No. 1

Brewers (6-9) @ Astros (6-10) April 24-26, 2009

Friday          7:05 p.m.          FOX
Saturday     6:05 p.m.          FOX
Sunday        1:05 p.m.           FOX

The Milwaukee Brewers roll into Houston Friday for a weekend three game set-to with the Astros.

Up to Tuesday, the Brewskies had been on an odd run of consistency this season – in every series (@SF, CHI, CIN, @NYM), they had a W-L record of 1-2. But they went into Philadelphia and took two of three, so perhaps things are on an upswing for them. At any rate, the Brewskies have been something of a disappointment so far this year, so I went searching around some of the Brewers fansites to see if Milwaukee fans were gripping as badly at their team’s early season fucking around as many Astrofanz seem to be at theirs.

The answer is, it is hard to tell. . . for one thing, if one is used to the level of intercourse at SnS, a lot of what passes for ‘intelligent fan discussion’ out there on the interwebs leaves a lot to be desired. Also, outside of Sen. McCarthy and Jeffrey Dahmer, and I guess Ed Gein, I’ve never really heard of a seriously pissed-off Wisconsoner. It is a stereoype, but I picture the typical Brewer fan as some pasty, pudgy guy who works for the paper mill and has brats for lunch and beer for dinner and goes to the park and cheers for the home team, regardless. On the other hand, if my team had emerged from 15+ years of consistently horrible play and management to go where the Milwaukee team appears to be now – on the verge of regular contention, loaded with young talent and with more on the way – hell, I would be pretty damn contented, too. Pass me a Pabst there, Leonard, would yah? Oh yaah, and a couple of brats, with ‘kraut on the side.

In beer and brat land they do have Brewerfan.net, a decent enough site which is probably the closest thing to what a wandering SnSer would look for in non-fanboy discussion with an occasional forum meltdown or two, and a lot of silly bullshit as well, of course. And, yes, it appears Brewerfan is gripping, a little.

However, the common thinking among Brewer aficianados is that beyond the Philadelphia series, they are coming up on an easy stretch in their schedule where they can get well and make up some ground on the division leaders (after the Brewers finish this weekend with Houston, they have a couple of series with the Pirates and Dickities, sandwiched around one with Arizona.) They envision going 2-1 in Houston, worst case scenario.

That Brewerfan equates the Astros with the Pirates and the Dickities and an easy part of their schedule might be a little ironic, given where they were not so long ago, but it might also be more than a little accurate at this point, at least generally speaking. Despite the heroics in the first two games of the Dodgers series, I doubt the Astros in their current configuration put much fear into any team’s heart. The interesting thing to me is that Milwaukee has been pushing for a few years now to emerge from the primordial goo in the depths of the Central Division (Pirates, Reds) and move into the Astros-Cardinals-FTCubs class of perennial division contender. At the same time, while the Co-ards and the FTCubs seem to be well-entrenched at the top of the division for many seasons to come, the Astros have been fighting what is in a way the exact opposite battle the Brewers have been. Houston has been struggling to keep from slipping down into the tar pits as mightily as the Brewers have been fighting to pull the Astros in and climb out over the top of them. And while fan perception means shit 99.99999 100% of the time, the realization, coming probably a couple of seasons late, that no one else looks at the Astros anymore as anything but a mediocre also-ran gives me pause; because it might not be long before what one has to look forward to at the beginning of each season is swimming around in the creasote all summer with the Pirates and the Dickities, looking up at eveyone else, including the Brewers. Fuck.

PITCHING MATCHUPS
Friday April 24 (7:05 p.m.)
Houston Felipé Paulino (0-0, 0.00)
After a couple of good starts in Round Rock, Paulino was called up and was excellent in his first outing against the Dickities last week, allowing 0 runs in 6 innings. He has a lot of steam on his fastball and an idea of what he is trying to do out there. The only nit-pick here is 100 pitches in six innings; he only walked two, though. I hope he can eventually go deeper into games.

Milwaukee Yovani Gallardo, RHP (1-1, 4.58)
Gallardo is emerging as a solid middle-of-the-rotation guy, and is coming off of a six inning, no run performance himself, in New York. He has a good breaking ball to go with a plus heater, and he has had success against the Astros in the past, including eight shutout innings in his only start at MMPUS, a win back at the end of 2007.

Saturday April 25 (6:05 p.m.)
Houston Mike Hampton (1-1, 3.12)
It is not a stretch to say Hampton has been a pleasant surprise so far this season. I’m not sure what was expected of him, but after getting knocked around a bit in his first start at St. Louis, he has pitched quite well in his last two outings. He appears to be mostly a 6-inning guy these days, but if the Astros can get 30 or so starts out of him this season at this level, that would be, well, nice.

Milwaukee Jeff Suppan, RHP (1-2, 8.56)
Jeff Suppan has been a pretty good starting pitcher for a long time now. Pretty good, but not good – as a 4.66 career ERA would attest. He gives up a fair amount of hits and a lot of home runs, but usually manages to hang around long enough to pile up some career wins (129) and losses (125). In his 2+ year stint in Milwaukee, he is 1 game under .500 (23-24) with a 4.91 ERA. On any given night, Suppan might pitch you a gem (last start vs. NY 6 IP, 2 ER), or he might hit the showers early (first two starts vs. SF and CHI 7.2 IP, 11 ER total). Jeff Suppan is the walking definition of mediocre. He has had a rough time of it with the Astros in the past (2-7, 5.34, and 1-2, 6.26 in MMPUS).

Sunday April 26 (1:05 p.m.)
Houston Russ Ortiz (1-0, 5.93)
Ortiz has not been very impressive so far, in two relief appearances and, most recently, two starts. He did pick up a win last time out, in a 5 inning, 5 walk, 116 pitch slopfest against the Dodgers. The bullpen almost lost it for him, anyway. About the most optimistic thing that can be said is that Ortiz’ most recent start was better than his first one, against Pittsburgh, when he could only manage 4.2 innings and left in a flurry of hits and loud outs with men on base. So, he is progressing.

Milwaukee Manny Parra, LHP (0-3, 8.16)
This guy was supposed to be the second coming of, I don’t know, Mike Caldwell or Teddy Higuera or somebody. He impressed many in the Austin/Round Rock/Pflugerville contingent by throwing a perfect game against the Express back in mid-2007, while pitching for the Nashville club. But, wow, Parra has failed to deliver on the promise so far. Last year, in his first full season, he managed a 10-8, 4.39 in 29 starts, but averaged 5 innings a start. He was pulled from the rotation the last three weeks of the season, with the Brewers battling the steM for a wild card spot. So far this season he has been terrible, although in his second outing, vs. the Dickities, he managed to go 6 innings and give up 3 ER.

INJURIES
Houston – Brandon Backe (strained intracoastal muscle, that’s the one that starts off mid-knee, runs down and under and around your foot, and then runs up your east side), 15-day DL, may return mid-May (supposedly), I don’t think anyone is holding their breath over it; Brian Moehler (mild knee sprain), 15-day DL, returns mid-May, is throwing on the side; Doug Brocail (rotator cuff), 15-day DL, returns Sunday (26th), any help in the bullpen is welcomed.

Milwaukee – Hells Bells Hoffman (strained obelisk, that’s the one that runs from your scrot – never mind), 15-day DL, due back Sunday (26th), the Brewers need him to anchor the bullpen, which has been fucking ‘orrible to this point.  (That was the Cockney accent I’ve been working on, you know, like, “‘Ello, guv’ner” on the Raisin Bran box.  What do you think?)

LOOKING UP?
It is hard to say what, if anything, we should take from the Dodgers series. We saw that the Astros can come from behind when they need to, but I don’t think that was a big question going in. And though I’ll never be able to erase from my mind the images of LaTroy Hawkins blowing save after save for the FTCubs in a stretch run a few years back, we saw for sure that the big righthander is a viable backup option at closer if/when Valverdegäaven is hurt. And it looks for sure like the Astros have a pretty good bench. Right now guys like Keppinger and Michaels are really helping. On the other hand, carrying an inconsistent offense is not their job. If it ends up that it is, well, not so good.  Beyond that, I just don’t know.

I do know this. Had the Astros lost the Dodger series – the one coming into this one – this series preview would be a whole lot more morose than it already is.

A CAVEAT
By the way, I would like to apologize for this preview to one and all. I feel like I have set a pretty high standard for myself in the past, and this effort falls far short of it.

There is a good reason, one which I would very much prefer to keep to myself. I will give my preview writing a better effort next time around. Perhaps things will be better then. Ex adversum adveho vires quod décor.

THE WEATHER
Friday evening will be mostly cloudy (and, needless to say, muggy) with a low only in the high 60s, and south winds at 10-15 mph. Saturday evening will be the same. Sunday will be mostly sunny, with a high of 81. Pretty decent weather to get out and watch baseball in.

I predict the Astros will, due to either “bad weather” or “high temperatures”,  have the roof closed at MMPUS for at least part of each of the three games in this series.

Brewers win the series, 2-1.

“Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the
Supermassive black hole.”

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