Wagner for the Save

Posted on April 30, 2010 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Astros 2, Braves 4
W: Tommy Hanson, L: Brett Myers, S: Billy Wagner

Well, this was a pretty fast losing effort for the Astros. There were a few highlights for the Astros on the night. JR Towles caught two, yes 2, Braves stealing bases. Hunter Pence stole what would be Heyward’s second HR on the night. Brett Meyers went 7 innings giving up 3 ER.

Lowlights for the Astros are many, as seems the usual now. Tommy Manzella had a tough night in the field. Two, yes 2, errors on consecutive plays. One bounced and hit him in the throat. Looked like it hurt. Michael Bourn looks like he may start joining the hitting habits of the middle of the lineup guys. 8 strike outs in his last 13 plate appearances. At this point in the season, he seems like the favorite for the Astros All-Star representative, but his skid, if it continues, might hurt his chances.

Former Astros pitcher, Billy Wagner got the save on the night. I was hoping he’d throw a perfect pitch and give the Astros a chance to win the game.

They Astros are not going to win many games with only 4 hits, ONE WALK and 1 HBP. I do not think having Lance Berkman in the lineup would have made much of a difference. The Astros lose with him in the lineup also. I hope Brad Mills finds some magic beans for the boys to eat so they can win some more games. I hope May treats them better.

For more information on the game, check out the gamezone.
If you want to know about the series against the Braves, read Mark’s preview.
It is also time to vote for your favorite Astro to attend the All Star Game.

Favorite JDism of the night: “Ugly finder with attitude” in regard to a foul ball.

Astros at Braves – Stoppable Force, Meet Movable Object

Posted on April 30, 2010 by MRaup in Series Previews

Remember that time when the Astros were terrible and everyone in the media was dogging them? Then remember how they climbed out of the cellar and ripped off eight wins in ten games and everyone pretended like they weren’t surprised? And then remember them getting absolutely crotch-kicked by the shit-ass Reds? That was awesome.

On the plus side, the Braves suck just as bad as the Astros do. They’re on a 1-9 skid at the moment, and hoping that some home-cooking against a team that’s just as awful as they are will turn this shitp around.

Turner Field

Friday, April 30, 6:35pm FSH-HD

Saturday May 1, 2:10pm BIG FOX

Sunday, May 2, 12:35 FSH-HD

Projected Matchups From Astros.com

Friday

Brett Myers (1-1, 3.81) v. Tommy Hanson (1-1, 2.14)

So far, Myers has been exactly what this rotation needs. A guy that will battle and eat some innings, and keep the club in the game if they can score a few runs. His last start, by the numbers, looked pretty awful. Brett gave up 11 hits over six innings, but managed to keep the damage to a minimum on the way to a win, only allowing two runs.

The Bravos sport a robust .339 batting average against Mr. Myers, which doesn’t bode well for the Good Guys. Chipper (12-35, 3 homers), McCann (12-33, 2 homers), McLouth (3-8, 2 homers), Matt Diaz (3-4), and (who the fuck is) Martin Prado (3-3) have done most of the damage.

Tommy Hanson is one of 3 brothers that play on the Charlestown Chiefs… What? Oh, right. He’s some guy I’ve never heard of on the Braves. Big difference.

The Stros have faced Hanson once, and sport a shiny .240 average against him. Feliz (2-3), and Kabong Berkman and Matsui (1-3) are all the damage that’s been done to him. Feliz has the Good Guys lone RBI. Oof.

Saturday

TBA v. Tim Hudson (1-1, 3.28)

I like the look of this matchup! The Astros are hoping that Wandy, with an extra day of rest, can fill this spot. Back spasms are making him miss his scheduled start Friday. Wandy’s stats against the Braves aren’t exactly stellar anyway, so no rush to get back, big guy!

The Bravos bat .317 as a team against Eny. Chipper (4-12, 2 homers), Diaz (5-12), Yunel Escobar (4-9), all do pretty well against him. It isn’t a matter of one guy just crushing Wandy, but everyone seems to have a few knocks against him. This could be a long day for Astros fans and a short day for Lil’ Lefty.

Timmy Hudson is a cocksucker. I don’t have any particular reason to say that, I just don’t fucking like the guy.

The good news for the Good Guys is that they knock Timmy around a little bit. The team sports a .330 average against him, with Kabong (11-27, 10 RBI) leading the charge. Matisu-san (5-16), Kep (3-7), and Blummer (4-12) all knock him around pretty good too.

Sunday

Bud Norris (1-2, 5.60) v. Derek Lowe (3-2, 5.79)

Norris has never faced the Bravos. Bud has really scuffled early on. His first three starts lasted exactly 5 innings, and his fourth start only lasted 2.2. Bud clearly isn’t trusting his stuff enough.

Derek Lowe is still pitching in the big leagues? Wow. News to me.

The Astros absolutely whallop Rob Lowe’s less successful brother. Kabong (14-35, 2 homers), Twinkie (8-26, 2 homers), Kaz (8-18), Bourn (5-10, with a triple), and PENCE!!! (3-7) all rake against him.

Notable Giveaways and Promotions

Friday: Brings Friday Night Fireworks to Turner Field. Fucking Copycats.

Saturday: Entertain yourselves, damnit!

Sunday: Kids run the bases. Meet Terry Parker. Bark in the Park. Meet Marty P… You know what? Click on the link and read about it yourselves. I don’t know who the hell Terry Parker or Marty Perez are, and frankly, I’m in too big a rush to write out all this bullshit.

Ridiculous Fantasy Injury Report Disguised as MLB.com Injury Report
Astros

Alberto Arias has been shut down for the year after surgery to repair a torn rotator cuff. Ow.

Chris Johnson has a straight Intercostal Muscle. I don’t know what that is, but he’s supposed to be back within the week.

Wandy Rodriguez has back spasms. Not news, we already talked about this.

Braves

Yunel Escobar is day to day after straining his left adductor. Isn’t that some kind of doppelbock?

Jair Jurrjens is day to day with a strained hammy and an overdose of the letter J.

Scott Proctor tore a tendon in his left elbow. Ouch. It’s unsure when he’ll be back.

Jo-jo Reyes is out with a really girly name. And some kind of knee problem.

Jordan Schafer is out with some kind of wrist problem that required surgery. Thanks MLB.com for such in-depth descriptions on these injuries. You’re making me look soooo smart.

Our Things to Look For

Yokels, a lots of ’em.
Hordes of adoring Hooters waitresses and underage girls squealing every time Chipper Jones comes up to bat.
Some cocksucker in the Gamezone reminding us all of Walt Fucking Weiss. (Beat you to it, cocksucker)
The stink of bad baseball. So help me BBGs, the next time Hunter Pence clanks an easy fly ball or Carlos Lee loafs a pop up into a double, I’m going to snap and kill someone.

Prediction: The Goddamn Braves take two out of three. You’re better served watching playoff hockey.

Swept again, an abstinence parable

Posted on April 30, 2010 by JackAstro in Game Recaps

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Dickities 4
Astros 2

W: Arroyo (1-2) | L: Oswalt (2-3) | S: Cordero (8)

Astros.com Wrap

Sounds hard.

Ah, the familiar sweep. It’s been a little while, but that brings the Good Guys up to three of them in April. Let’s ‘cap this using the sorry crutch of the unmotivated – BULLET POINTS!

For all his many virtues, JD sometimes makes a habit of dropping trou and depositing a deuce on the doorstep of the BBGs, with last night’s game being one example of the poor outcomes that generally result from such gall. During the opening loss in the series, Jimmy postured that Wednesday was effectively the rubber game, since Roy’s start was already a lock for the ‘Stros. This is obviously frowned upon, and a correction was inevitable. Given his nearly unvarnished track record of awesomeness, this transgression is excused, but try to keep that shit in check, big guy.
Manzella flashed some serious leather out there last night. In its most defense-y form (Feliz, Manzella, Kaz), this infield is especially fun to watch, and the junior member is proving to be an excellent anchor.
Flapjack engaged in some truly lackadaisical bullshit in the 5th inning, lazily allowing Stubbs to go first-to-third on a routine single to left. When the alternative is to charge past the ball and let everyone score, I suppose it could be worse, but c’mon… a little effort out there would be nice. You’re halfway to the infield as it is, it shouldn’t be that fucking hard to give the illusion that you’re capable of throwing out the runner directly in front of you.
Roy looked pretty good, got dinged a little but never had the Oswalt Inning, and threw a bunch of pitches.
Thunder Pants homered.
Really, that’s about all I’ve got here.

Random: So, the missus has been bugging me for seemingly eternity to watch the second Twilight movie with her. I really have no idea why. Since I’ve been monopolizing the TV – and because I was assured that there would be reciprocation – I decided to be the nice guy and agree to watch this insipid piece of shit immediately following the game. And because I’m working on being a better human being, I even agreed to not point out what an insipid piece of shit it is during the movie.

As such, I have now ground my teeth down to painful little nubs, and I’m left to tell all three of you just how badly Twilight sucks, or this rage will consume me. Seriously, that was the worst clusterfucktastrophe of shit story, shit characters, shit dialog, shit acting and shit effects that I have ever suffered through, bar none. And yes, I’ve seen Waterworld. I mean, I knew it was going to be bad, but I had absolutely no idea that it was even possible to be that bad.

Someone who has read the books please give me some good news and tell me that they all die horribly by the end of it. And I mean all of them, because I couldn’t find a single redeeming character, or even someone didn’t make me feel all punchy and stabby. (Maybe the Dad, but even he should just be put out of his misery.) If it’s not the case that they’re all dispatched by some sort of fantastic emo-fey-monster-infecting virus, can you please, please just tell me that an asteroid falls out of the sky and lands on Bella? BECAUSE I HATE HER SO FUCKING MUCH. Lie to me if necessary, Thanks.

So yeah… Braves next. Go get’ em.

They’re Back

Posted on April 29, 2010 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Reds 6, Astros 4
W: Leake, L: Paulino

Astros Recap

This game was just bad. Bad defense, bad offense, and suspect pitching. I think it was the Astros way of reminding us that they did start the season 0-8. That 0-8 start is still part of this team.

This picture sums up the reactions of many watching the game.

Check out Craig’s Series Preview and the Gamezone for more information.

Haranged!

Posted on April 28, 2010 by Ty in Tampa in Game Recaps

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

Pimply Misshapen Asses 6
Astros 2

W: Harang (1-3) | L: Norris (1-2)

Astros.com

Sorry for the shitty headline. I couldn’t think of anything more clever to put there and truthfully, that’s pretty much what happened to the Astros line-up tonight and that sucks, because so does Harang. It would be easy to get the feeling the team was turning the corner offensively after the impressive 10-game run they just had, capped by a sweep of the lowly Buccos, but getting dicked by the Dickities at home by a guy they’ve owned in recent memory shows there’s still a lot of work to do.

The force of nature that is Michael Bourn got dotted by a runaway slider to lead off the Astros 1st. Raise your hand if you knew he was going to score. Steal, E2, 4-3 GO and it’s 1-0 Astros.

In fairness to the bats, it was just as much young Mr. Norris’ inability to keep Reds off the bases that did the Good Guys in tonight. The lead-off batter got on base at a .666 clip and that beast will drag you to Hell every time. The Reds took the lead for good in the 2nd after a lead-off HBP, BB, then 2 singles, the second plating 2.

Norris seemed to settle in through the 5th but there’s something Bud don’t like about the 6th. Actually, it was the Reds batters jumping on anything that was near the plate. 3 straight singles ended Bud’s night without retiring a Red in the 6th and a 3-1 Dickities lead. Fulchino’s first batter singled in the 4th Red’s run, then later, a sac fly plated the 5th.

The Astros got one more in the bottom of the 6th on a Berkman lead-off ground-rule 2B. He advanced on Blum’s 2nd hit of the night, and then scored on Towles’ sac fly. The Astros matched hits with the Reds at 9 but only 1-7 with RISP. That won’t cut it.

Sammy’s first outing coming off of the DL was shaky. A lead-off walk, GO then steal of third seemed to get to him and as he toed the rubber for the next batter, he placed the ball in his mitt. fiddled with it, then took it out again. HP ump Miller called what JD said was a “rule-book” balk. 6-2 Reds.

Lee had a couple of good-looking at-bats. Blum stayed hot. Bourn is God. But 11Ks for the line-up tonight, with Pence and Towles to only ones to escape the whiff.

Hoping for a bounce-back in game 2 tonight with Leake vs. Paulino

Craig’s excellent SP

Reds at Astros – Haranging Curveballs

Posted on April 27, 2010 by Craig in Series Previews

The Astros (8-10) have won their last three series and abandoned the cellar to its rightful owners, the Pirates. And even climbed over the Reds to boot. Even after that shitty 0-8 start, a winning record for April is still possible.

Now the Reds (8-11) come slinking into town after their own 3-3 homestand. Dusty Baker had a come-to-Jesus meeting with his team over the weekend to address several cases of slapdickery. Jesus Himself couldn’t actually attend the meeting, since he’s recuperating from Tommy John surgery with the rest of Dusty’s projects.

Since the Dickities’ last roadtrip went 2-5 and ended in a five-game losing streak, Dusty is insisting on a good trip this week. After visiting Houston the Reds will be going to St. Louis, so good luck with that Dusty. Still, it wouldn’t hurt to remember that last year the Reds were 12-4 against the Astros and 5-2 at Minute Maid.

For the good guys, Lance Berkman has 48 homers against the Reds, which is one behind the Astros’ team record held by Jeff Bagwell.

Minute Maid Park

Tuesday, April 27, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSH-HD
Wednesday, April 28, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSH-HD
Thursday, April 29, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSH-HD

Notable giveaways

Thursday – A reusable totebag from Methodist Transplant Center. You don’t want to know what they used it for the first time.

Projected Matchups from Astros.com

Tuesday
Aaron Harang (0-3, 8.31) v. Bud Norris (1-1, 4.26)

Harang is having a harrable season so far. In just under 22 innings, he’s given up 29 hits (including six homers) and 22 runs. Like Carlos Zambrano, Harang may get bumped down to the bullpen, though in his case it would make sense. But for now he’s the official starter Tuesday.

Berkman and Blum have worn out Harang in the past. Lance only has 13 hits in 51 at-bats against him (.255), but seven of those hits ha-rang the bell. Blum is 10-for-17 against Harang, with two doubles and a triple. Lee, Feliz, Bourn, and Quintero have all homered off Harang as well.

Norris hasn’t faced the Reds before. The Astros have won his last two starts, but he hasn’t lasted more than five innings yet.

Wednesday
Mike Leake (1-0, 3.92) v. Felipe Paulino (0-2, 5.94)

The Dickities’ took their Leake in the first-round of last year’s draft. He’s already made three starts this year and finally got a win against the Dodgers. It was the first victory by a Reds starter in 16 games, so you can tell Dusty’s Baker’s plan is working to perfection. Leake’s given up two homers and nine earned runs in just under 22 innings.

Paulino has already faced the Reds five times but only has a 1-3 record against them. Jay Bruce has two homers off him, and Votto and Nix each have one.

Thursday
Bronson Arroyo (0-2, 7.43) v. Roy Oswalt (2-2, 2.42)

Arroyo has 17 appearances and an 8-6 record against the Astros, which sounds pretty good until you realize that Roy Oswalt is 23-1 against the Reds. However, last year Roy got four no-decisions in four starts against the Reds.

Berkman (14-for-47, five homers) and Carlos Lee (13-for-38, four doubles, two homers) have blasted Arroyo in the past. Hunter Pence also has four doubles and a triple off him. However, Blum is only 4-for-24 against Arroyo, and Quintero is 1-for-15.

Current Reds are a combined 50-for-177 (.282) against Roy. Brandon Phillips is 10-for-31 with five doubles, and Laynce Nix is 5-for-12 with two homers.

Injury Report

Cincinnati – Edinson Volquez is out until at least late July with his suspension and injury. A suspinjury, if you will.

Houston – Alberto Arias is out for the season, and Chris Johnson is out until mid-May. Matsui might be back for this series.

Loose Dribblers

* It’s just not Carlos Lee’s month. In addition to the obvious batting woes, he also got ticketed by Houston police over the weekend – Impeding the Flow of Traffic, and Failure To Signal.

* Did you see that Bobby Bonilla will go back on the Stem payroll next year? The fucking Mets still owed him nearly $6 million when they waived him in 2000, so his agent got the dumbasses to agree to pay Bonilla $1.19 million every July from 2011 to 2035. The $1.19 million payment is more than a dozen Mets are making this season.

* Do you know why you can’t take Hunter Pence to White Castle? He’ll never stop eating sliders.

* I’m keeping the TV sound turned up during Saturday home games now, just to listen to Jeff Bagwell. His mumbly voice is kind of hard to hear, but the comments are excellent.

* On the other hand, I’ve added a new insta-mute commercial to the list – the one with those fucking hipster douchebags singing about “take this town” or whatever the fuck. It usually takes Dane Cook or that douchebag Frank guy to get onto the Instant Mute Button list, but the opening notes of that Fox commercial do it. In fact I can hear those goddamn notes right now in my brain, so fuck you Fox.

Discuss today’s game in the Gamezone.

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