The Days Dwindle Down to a Precious Few…

Seattle Mariners (81-70) @ Houston Astros (67-85) through Wednesday

As the season draws to a close, it seems only fitting that our final homestand should be closed out with another chapter in the long and storied history with our natural rivals. Traditions like this are a big part of what makes baseball so special. And although this season is wrapping up, it’s exciting to learn that we’ll open next season hosting another of our long-time rivals, the Cleveland Indians. We are truly blessed.

And it’s not just this season that’s winding down: the reign of one Bud Selig as commissioner is as well. The accomplishments of this great man are legion: his decisive leadership in transforming the All-Star game from the travesty that it used to be into a game that now means something; his adroit handling of the perfidy of the traitorous Montreal club; his brave and principled stand for visiting teams’ rights in stadia with retractable roofs; his astounding flexibility with scheduling in the face of natural disasters; his even-handed and transparent pursuit of justice in the PED scandal; and, of course, his delivery of the Astros to their rightful home in that most historic and glorious of divisions, the AL West. As we near the end of his tenure, we should all pause to think about what baseball might look like without his 23 years at the helm. I know I do every day.

There have been a lot of changes in the projected starters for this series, so I’m not very confident that I’m giving you the correct information here. But it’s a start.

Friday, September 19, 7:10 CDT

Taijuan Walker (1-2, 2.96) vs Brad Peacock (4-8, 4.80)

This is Walker’s first big-league start since July 23^rd, and only his fourth appearance since then. In his three relief appearances this month, he’s pitched 9.0 innings giving up 10 hits and 3 runs (2 earned), with 7 strikeouts and 2 walks. Those aren’t bad numbers, but they came against the Oakland and Texas, not the juggernaut that is the current Astros offense, and not in the intimidating environment of MMPUS. On the other hand, current Astros have a .196/.260/.326 line against this guy in 50 plate appearances over the last two years, so who knows what we’ll see.

Peacock is carrying a 4.80 ERA for the year, but since August 11^th he’s had a 2.90 ERA in 6 starts and 31.0 innings. Current Mariners have a .280/.369/.449 line against Peacock in 122 plate appearances, so between that, his 5 inning average, and his recent back issues, the bullpen had better be ready for some action in this one.

Saturday, September 20, 6:10 CDT

Chris Young (12-8, 3.33) vs Dallas Keuchel (11-9, 3.00)

Young has basically been a 5 or 6 inning guy over the last couple of months, except for a 0.2 inning gem against Oakland on September 1^st in which he gave up 5 earned runs. Let’s hope for one of those on Saturday. Current Astros have an uninspiring .178/.288/.356 line against him, but Fowler is 4-10 with 3 walks in 13 appearances. Of course, that means everybody else has been really dismal.

Keuchel has matured into a genuine major-league pitcher this year. He certainly doesn’t have dominating stuff, but he seems to be extremely composed and mentally tough, and he gets ground balls at a rate that limits the damage hitters can inflict. In his last 8 starts going back to the beginning of August, his ground ball/fly ball ratios are 14/7, 11/9, 14/3, 19/6, 19/6, 15/6, 14/11, and 14/4. That’s some impressive work. The history of current Mariners against Keuchel bears that out: they’ve got a .222/.263/.333 line against him in 115 plate appearances over the last three years, and a .183/.216/.254 line in 75 plate appearances this year. He is probably a very frustrating guy to bat against, especially when you start to worry about what might crawl out of that beard. I think he can be a valuable pitcher for a long time (he’s 26 years old now).

Sunday, September 21, 1:10 CDT

Hisashi Iwakuma (14-8, 3.42) vs Collin McHugh (10-9, 2.66)

Iwakuma is a pretty good pitcher, but in his last 5 starts he seems to be showing evidence of fatigue, going 2-2 in 21.1 innings with a 9.28 (!) ERA. The Astros have fared pretty well against him, sporting a .286/.308/.408 line, with the mighty Altuve leading the way at 9-22 in 25 plate appearances, including a couple of doubles and 3 sac flies. Marwin Gonzalez also seems to have him figured out, hitting .583/.583/.917 in 12 at-bats. Bring the lumber, guys.

McHugh is coming back after taking a line drive off his left wrist in his start last Monday. Hopefully that won’t affect him this time out. McHugh has been positively studly since the beginning of August: the Astros are 7-2 in the 9 games he has started, and he is 6-0 with 60 innings and a 1.50 ERA. Current Mariners have a .169/.216/.337 line against McHugh in 88 plate appearances this year. He has had a fine season, and it’s fitting that he gets to wrap up the final home series of the year.

Injuries

Mariners

Willie Bloomquist (2B, knee) and Roenis Elias (P, elbow) are both out for the season. Isn’t there some sort of rule about having four or five pitchers on the DL? I knew these guys were cheaters.

Astros

This week the Astros finally admitted what the rest of had suspected for a while: Springer is done for the year. Albers, Cisnero, Crain, Zeid are also done for the year, but none of those is a surprise.

Promotions/Giveaways

Jackpot! It’s the last homestand of the year, so there’s something going on every day. Friday night is fireworks night, and after the game they’ll also put on a fireworks show. People who still have hair can get it cut during the game in Home Run Alley. Saturday is the Fiestas Patrias Event. Although I’m not sure what all that will entail, I’ll bet it involves Ziegenbock. Sunday is Fan Appreciation Day. The first 10,000 folks will get a 2014 team poster (I wonder when they took the photo; it could be kind of fun to go through: “yup, yup, nope, nope, yup”). They’ll be giving away stuff every half inning, and some of it may even be desirable. Maybe. Let’s hope a television contract is in there somewhere.

And congratulations to Josh Hader and Brett Phillips, who will be introduced before Sunday’s game as the Astros’ minor league pitcher and hitter of the year, respectively. I look forward to watching them at MMPUS in a year or two.

submitted by Bench

SEPTEMBER 8-10, 2014

Under new management, the surging Astros have taken four of five from the A’s and Angels and now head to the MLB hinterlands of the Pacific Northwest to continue playing the role of AL West SPOILER. The Mariners sit nine games out of first place in the American League West, but are in position to take one of the two Wild Card spots, which would be their first postseason berth since 2001. Currently the bunting tossers are tied with the free falling A’s, half a game up on the Tigers with the Yanks and Indians sitting within five games.  TO THE BILGE WITH THEM!

The current September version of the Astros seems light years away from last year’s September version, who swooned to a 15 game season ending losing streak.  However, last year the Astros managed to go 7-5 before ending with the 15 game crapper, so we’ll get a useless metric of illusory progress based upon how the last half of the month goes.

Meanwhile, Altuve continues his quest to cap one of the all-time great Astro offensive seasons by eclipsing Biggio’s club hit record of 210 hits.  Altuve leads the Major Leagues in batting average (.340), hits (198) and is first in the American League with 51 stolen bases. Carter continues his quest for 40 homeruns and an enormous arbitration award. The starting rotation continues to come together, and Qualls won’t be facing the A’s anymore.  This is actually kind of fun.

Monday Sep. 8, 2014
Safeco Field – 9:10 CT

Brad Peacock (4-8 5.01 ERA)

Great name, mediocre pitcher.  It’s like the opposite if Felix Hernandez were named Gerald Feltcher. But Brad has been pitching well over his last few starts, going 1-0 with 2.16 ERA in 16.2 innings.  Over his career, Peacock is 2-3 against the Crusty Seamen with a 6.98 ERA.   Ackley and Morales have hit him particularly hard.

Felix Hernandez  (14-5 2.18 ERA 37 BB 209 K)

He’s the fucking king.

Tuesday Sep. 9, 2014
Safeco Field – 9:10 CT

Collin McForkingHuge 8-9 2.89 ERA)

McHugh has continued to be McForkingHuge, going 4-0 with a 1.79 ERA in his last seven starts. Despite tossing that initial gem in Seattle when he was first called up, he’s been knocked around for a couple of losses in his last two bouts against the grog snarfing blaggards.  Time for some revenge.

Roenis Elias  (10-12 3.90ERA)

Roenis makes the most of the vowels in his name.  And he’s made the most of his work against the Astros, allowing only 3 hits in 19 at bats against the good guys. However, he hasn’t been able to pitch deep into games regularly which gives a chance to get into the downy seagull underbelly of the Mariners’ no doubt well rested bullpen.

Wednesday Sep. 10, 2014
Safeco Field – 9:10 CT

Nick Tropeano (naught)

And here is our September callup major league debut.  The 24 year old went 9-5 with a 3.03 ERA in 23 games (20 starts) at Triple-A Oklahoma City this season with 120 strikeouts and a .202 batting average against in 124 2/3 innings.

Hishashi Iwakuma  (14-6 2.97 ERA)

Iwakuma has been the 1-B to King Felix’s 1-A for the Cropswaggles this season. He’s scuffled as of late, dropping 2 of his last 3 games with a 7.24 ERA over 13.2 innings pitched therein. But historically he’s done well against the Astros – no great feat of course – with a career 4-2 record with a 2.56 ERA against the good guys.  Altuve hits him too, as has Dominguez.

Lawless seems to have the team on an even, relaxed keel.  By all media accounts he seems to be a charming person.  He also doesn’t give a fuck about your idea of pitching matchups which seems as anti-advanced data metrics as you can get:

Lawless, who spent a lot of time on the bench as a player watching former Cardinals manager Whitey Herzog, said he’s not big on matchups, such as left-handed pitchers have to face left-handed batters.
“If you can’t go out there and pitch an inning and get three outs, then maybe you’re not a Major League pitcher,” he said. “That’s why games are five hours long, because we drag them. Get three outs and play on.”

Hear hear. But really, is that the comment of someone in lock step with the organizational philosophy espoused by Luhnow and his collection of affectionately likeable nerds? Regardless, the team is playing well, having fun, getting some good experience for young up and comers and whippersnappers, and fucking over their rivals’ post-season chances in the process.  So far, it’s been about as perfect a September as a team that is no longer abjectly awful can hope for.

The burgoo gibees take two of three.

Contributed by Great Bagwell’s Beard

In the past week, a metric ton of ink has been spilled dissecting the organizational dysfunctions that left Bo Porter in the unemployment line. Of course, 99% of the people who’ve chimed in have no experience in a MLB clubhouse or front office, myself included. While every job shares some common power dynamics, a room full of 50 athletes, former athletes, and (in Houston’s case) statistics nerds is probably more like junior high than Initech. So rather than try to deduce what happened behind closed doors at Minute Maid, I’ll share this story.

My first job out of college was working at a biotech company in The Woodlands. The job consisted of taking mouse tails, pulverizing them physically and chemically in order to extract DNA, and then analyzing that DNA. I went through four years of grueling studies to spend all day surrounded by mouse tails. All for the low, low price of $29k a year. I was living the dream.

My boss there had a Ph.D., which was the one and only reason why he was the boss. Biotech is an odd industry, in the sense that its management structure is very similar to academia, except that everyone is trying to turn a profit. Of course, not many biochemists have a business background, and not many MBAs can stand to spend time with biochemists.

I was finding that I was having time spending time with biochemists too. Most of them had the same social acumen of the mouse tails. My boss was no exception. I’d gotten into biotech because the research fascinated me, and my studies only encouraged my interest. However, I was still mostly a novice when it came to lab work, and was relying on my boss to teach me the ropes. Sadly, he was as good of a teacher as I was an astronaut.

After one very frustrating year, I was out. Fired. I could debate whether or not I was given a chance to really succeed, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. It was the wake-up call that I needed to show me that just because I find something interesting doesn’t mean I should dedicate my working life to it. I really like whiskey too, but I don’t think I’m meant to be a distiller.

Jeff Luhnow is a smart guy. Brilliant, even. I have no idea what kind of manager he is, but I know that brilliance is no indicator of being able to handle people. He may be very good at handling people, and Porter’s just an asshole with a large collection of Zig Ziglar books.

Pam Gardner would’ve never stood for this shit. (I’ll show myself out)

Probable Pitchers

Friday, September 5, 2014
9:00 CT O(h God, We’re in Oakland) Coliseum
Brett Oberholtzer v. Jeff Samardzija