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  • Game Recaps (Page 96)

I Am the God of Hell Fire

Posted on June 12, 2011 by Ron Brand in Featured, Game Recaps

Astros Scorched, 4-1

W: Hanson (8-4)
L: Myers (2-6)

Myers was pretty good Sunday afternoon. He pitched well, only gave up five hits in seven innings and struck out six. His real mistake, other than the two pitches he threw that resulted in all the runs those cocksuckers from Atlanta would need, was showing up with a knife at a gunfight. A floppy rubber knife, in the form of Astro bats.

Tommy Hanson waded through the Astro lineup – missing Keppinger, Pence, Towles and Boojwah – like General Sherman, torching everything in sight for the shock and perverse sport of it. In the end, Hanson had struck out 14 in seven innings; three more Astros fanned after that to make it 17 for the game. Only five hits were allowed and Houston was never in this one, despite the low score.

A combined feeble-for-eleventy-nine with runners in scoring position since the middle of last week has taken the shine off of that four game win streak like flame burns away the sweet smell of redemption. This team is in its Death March and has many, many miles to go before it ends. Summer is upon us, and with it the heat will render casual hope and observance until it resembles some kind of psychotic fascination, leaving those of us who dare to be strong enough for the ride reduced to sweaty, gibbering imbeciles by September.

In the wake of this devastation comes the unexpected flower that can hopefully provide a tiny respite; Lyles is staying in the rotation, AnRod goes to the bullpen and Fulchino goes to Tornado Alley. Never the rose without the thorn however, because Boojwah will have an MRI Monday to determine why his right ankle won’t heal.

“It’s been killing me to wake up and walk in the morning,” Bourgeois said. “It’s been tough for me. Today, I woke up and I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t get warmed up as much as I tried.”

The wraparound series ends Monday night. You know you’ll be passing by, just like you know that you won’t be able to avoid looking at the steaming hulk on the side of the road, wondering if there was anyone in there you knew, or if there could possibly be survivors of such a horrible wreck.

Trade your gallows humor in the GameZone, if you dare.

UN-WORRELL-ISH-NESS

Posted on June 11, 2011 by Dark Star in Featured, Game Recaps, News

BRAVES 6, ASTROS 3
June 11, 2011
MMPUS

Linebrink (W, 2-1) Lyon (L, 3-3)
Att – 32, 117
Time – 3:20

HOUSTON (SnS) – On a night set aside to celebrate one consistently wonderful aspect of the Houston Astros operation over the last many years, a recent ugly bugaboo popped up again in the end to doom the Astros to another disconcerting loss, following the desultory defeat on Friday night, and several other ugly and dispiriting failures from the days and weeks before that.Read More

Wow, that was bad

Posted on June 10, 2011 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Cardinals 9, Astros 2
W: Lance Lynn, L: J.A. Happ

Box Score and Recaps

I really cannot think of anything good to say about the Astros in regard to this game. I can usually come away from a game and say one player or another did well, but I am not seeing it right now.

I know what this team is and good it is not. But I seem to have a hard time reconciling how bad they really are. It is going to be a horrible next two years and that is making the assumption that there is talent being drafted that are going to become productive major league players.

I believe there were 5 bases-loaded situations for the Astros in this series and they scored a total of 2 runs out of them. (Someone else can find that stat because it has frustrated me enough seeing it happen.) You have got to be kidding. That is worse than “bad situational hitting.”

This game for some reason was the worst. Not sure what it was but it seemed like the Astros had no heart in it. I think that is what is giving me problems.

Hey, Bud! Let’s party!

Posted on June 9, 2011 by Ty in Tampa in Featured, Game Recaps, News

Wednesday, June 8th, 2011

Turds 1
Astros 4

W: Norris | L: Garcia | S: Melancon

As shitty a game as last night’s steamer was, tonight’s game was tasty. Sure, winning vs. losing makes it on it’s own but no, tonight’s game had great pitching, great defense and some timely hitting (in spots), things this team rarely seems to put together all in the same game. They did tonight and it was fun to watch.

The centerpiece, young Bud. His dominance of the shitbirds is documented but tonight, he really had it going. In non-typical fashion, Ks were down, walks were up, even as he seemed to have command of every pitch and despite putting men on in the 1st, 4th, 5th and 6th, his defense had his back with 3 double plays and he survived them all. He kept the ball down for the most part, daring the Turds to chase, roll over or take and it was pretty damned effective.

Out of the gate, the line-up was a bit more typical. Lead-off doubles in the first 2 innings led to nothing and when Kepp singled with 1 down in the 3rd, you could almost mail in the result. But Hunter has fancy plans, and pants to match! His 10-pitch AB was a thing of beauty, ending with a crushing drive to center, way the fuck over the head of apprentice hot-dog Colby Assmunch and landing at the top of Tal’s Hill. By the time Rasmus and his sherpa retrieved the ball and got it in, Pence was adjusting his cufflinks standing on 3rd. A GO by Lee plated Pence and it was 2-0 after 3.

On to the Astros 5th, Boojwah decided to create some excitement. A sharp grounder down the third base line that in the 1st went for a double, was nicely snagged by 3B Carpenter but his throw was just late. Booj promptly stole 2nd and when Kepp lined out to right, the jets fired and he slid into 3rd ahead of the throw. Pence’s ground out failed to plate Booj but after a walk to Lee, Michaels singled to left to give the boys a 3-0 lead.

Did I mention the defense? Kepp and Barmes were plenty busy tonight and steak dinners should be on Bud’s platinum card. Defensive plays have to be seen and not described but one play in particular stands out and really added to the suspense of what we were watching. Top of the 7th and the 2-3-4 hitters for the Jakes are up. Bud is dealing to the tune of 0 0 0. John Jay poked a flare to the left side of the infield that to my eye, looked to be the one that would break it up. But Barmes launched himself to his right and snagged the shit out of the ball, keeping Bud’s flirt with glory intact. After a deep fly ball to CF got Pooholes out, Lance Berkman strolled to the plate.

I’m trying to think of what to write here…I want to say some things but then I don’t want to make this about Berkman, that cocksucker. I’d rather make this about Hunter ‘cuz the kid came a couple of scant inches from saving this thing. He tracked Twinkie’s deep drive to right field and timed his leap at the wall perhaps just a bit too soon as the ball dropped just beyond his glove.

No-no no more. Shut out gone. But Bud wasn’t shaken at all. He finished the 7th with a Rasmus infield pop then went on to retire the side in the 8th with just one more walk. Melancon closed it out with a 1-2-3 9th for his 6th save.

Great game! Big effort by all involved and it showed. Let’s hope they do it again tomorrow night and send the Jakes home with a beefy shitburger!!

STANDING ON THE VERGE OF GETTING IT ON

Posted on June 8, 2011 by Dark Star in Featured, Game Recaps, News

CARDS 7, ASTROS 4
June 7, 2011
MMPUS

Westbrook (W, 6-3)
Myers (L, 2-5)

HOUSTON (SnS) – The Astros fell to the rival St. Louis Cardinals here Tuesday night, 7-4.  

In what is becoming a familiar script for recent Astros games, the home team acted like it might be about to do something a time or two but, lacking serious firepower, came up short.  Once again.Read More

He’s Not The Messiah!

Posted on June 5, 2011 by Ron Brand in Featured, Game Recaps

Padres 7, Astros 2

W:Latos (4-6)
L:Lyles (0-1)

Maybe not having this one on TV was a good thing. Plagued by shaky command early on, Jordan Lyles’ second start started off rough as he gave up three runs in the first inning and only lasted four. The 31 pitches in the first inning were more than he could overcome. Despite tightening it up as the game wore on, Lyles threw 96 pitches in only four innings and the game never was in doubt, similar to Saturday’s tilt.

FotF now has a 17-game hitting streak. Wallace was the only Astro with more than one hit, a single and a double. Bourn stole two bases, giving him 25 so far. Boojwah returned to play a little LF and he stole another, his 13th.

Lyles will get what could be his last start of this stint with the big club on Saturday against the Godless Red Devils from Georgia. With any luck the cavalry will be there to help run those fuckers back to humid nights on the reservation with plenty of firewater and itchy blankets to keep them company.

Off day Monday before those whiny shits from Jakeville pull into town.

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