Sunday, August 16, 2009

Astros 8
Brewfarts 5

W: Fulchino | L: Weathers | S: Valverde

astros.com
AP via Yahoo!
Game Zone

i’ve had old school game shows on the brain lately.  growing up, one of my absolute favorites was the “match game”.  as a kid, i missed some of the intended double entendres…but i loved to watch it for a number of reasons.  

adults drinking and smoking and being silly on tv was awesome.  the theme song was exceedingly danceable.  my young mind also understood the humor much more readily than “monty python” and “laugh in”, so in many ways, charles nelson reilly is a touchstone for my formative years.

get your blue index cards and big ass sharpies ready, because it’s time to meet the contestants!

Our returning champ is Geoff from Redwood City, California, and he is being challenged today by Cecil C.  Welcome to the show, and tell us a little about what do you do, Coop!

Wow!  It’s just great to be here. What do I do?  That’s kind of hard to explain…I’m usually just working on shaking things up a bit to try to get something going.  Some of my favorite hobbies are talking out of both sides of my mouth and throwing people under the bus.  But I’m really excited about the new book I’ve been asked to write, which, like me, should be out by the fall.  It’s called “Lineups From Dummies”. 

Don’t you mean “Lineups FOR Dummies”?

What?

What?  And here we go!  As always, we begin with our challenger, so Cecil here is your sentence:

“Waldo the baseball player was so superstitious…

HOW SUPERSTITIOUS WAS HE?!?!

…he was so superstitious, that before each and every game, he would touch his BLANK, five times”. 

While you think about that, Coop, let’s meet our panel –

He’s a successful businessman who loves champions – say hello to Drayton McLane Jr!

Please welcome the man that is currently holding his head in his hands, Mr. Ed Wade!

And putting herself right there in the middle of those two, as usual, it’s the irrepressible Pam Gardner!

Over in the front row –

The man wearing the “Really?!?” t-shirt with a disgusted look on his face – you know him as Brian Moehler!

You may have seen him at the vending machine around the corner, say “Hi” to Lance Berkman!

And finally, he’s no Delilah – live via satellite from Round Rock, it’s Chris Sampson!

OK Coop, we need your answer please.

I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’m going to say “Lineup Card”

“Waldo the baseball player was so superstitious, that just before each and every time game, he would touch his LINEUP CARD five times”.  Now let’s see if the panel agrees with you…

Drayton?  Show us what you wrote down.

I wrote “FANS”.

Pam?

I went with “WALLET”.

And how about you, Ed?

I actually said “LINEUP CARD”.

Let’s see – Moehler, Berkman and Sampson…you’ve not only left your cards blank, you’ve all turned your backs on the contestant as well, which makes it an automatic 1 point for Cecil.  OK – get ready, Geoff!  Here’s your sentence:  “My manager is SOOOO horrible…

HOW HORRIBLE IS HE?

…he’s SOOOO horrible, that the only logical explanation for him still having a job is that he regularly BLANKS the commissioner”. 

Geoff, you seem to be ready with your answer, but let’s start with the panel this time. 

Sampson?

I wrote “BLOWS”

Moehler?

I went with “FELATES”

What about you, Lance?

I just said the first thing that came to my mind – “SNACKS WITH”

Well, Geoff, it appears that the other half of our panel is ignoring the question, so let’s see if your answer matches up. 

Um, wait a second there, Geoff.  That’s not actually a card you are holding up…that’s more of a gesture.   Judges?

…and we’ll accept it!  Geoff, great job!  Three points for you!  Well played – we’ll definitely be seeing you for a little longer.

But as for you, Coop – that’s going to be it.  Our time with you has run out.  Thanks for stopping by.  Although your appearance here was short-lived, I think I speak for all of us when I say it seemed to drag on much longer than it should have.  But just because you’ve wrapped up things here with us, it doesn’t mean you are finished.  In fact, “Press Your Luck” tapes in another city.  You’d be a natural!

(This has been Astros Match ’09. A Mark Goodson-Tal Smith Production)

Be sure to tune in to the GZ  for more bloopers and outtakes of today’s show.  And catch this episode’s official summary if you missed anything, or just want to relive it in it’s entirety.