From real doubt he'd ever play baseball again...

… to a very real appearance on the field five hard months worth of work later. The Houston Astros lost to the Chicago Cubs, 2-0, on Aaron Boone Day. *sigh*

Astros 1, Cubs 4
W: Randy Wells, L: Brian Moehler

Astros Recap
Yahoo Recap
GameZone

The Astros lost this game by a combined effort of lack of situational offense and some bad defense. Brian Moehler did an okay job pitching. Nothing new for this season really.

Astros Highlights:

Michael Bourn went 3 for 4 on the night. Got stranded twice.

Geoff Blum went 2 for 4 on the night.

Bench Tidbits:

I have to admit this game is not causing me much thought beyond the fact that there are more important things in life. Yes, baseball can be a great escape, a way to relax and a number of other things; but when it all comes down at the end of the day does not matter that much for most of us.

I have a former friend going through a divorce and learning of all the things she did during her marriage is making me ill. I’ll come out and say that cheating on your spouse is wrong. I don’t think anyone can convince me differently. It only makes things worse when you have to deal with the marriage after the fact.

I have no happy thoughts in my mind right now, especially not after talking to the soon-to-be-ex-husband.

I sincerely hope all of you married or in relationships respect the vows you have made. I am not naive enough to think everything can be overcome but do believe you owe it to yourself, spouse and family to be honest and respectful.

So, hopefully the Astros win today and I reconcile the fact that some people are just not good people.

As much as we’ve decried the lack of starting pitching that has plagued the Astros worst post-WS season, the offense has squandered some of the better quality starts, too. Today, Wandy was again the victim, taking the loss despite making only a few mistakes. That he’s accumulated nine losses says quite a lot about the offense and perhaps provides more damning evidence of the ill effects of Coop’s ceaseless lineup tinkering.

All three of the ‘stros runs came off of sacrifice grounders, which says something about how poorly the team was hitting, or how effective Dan Haren was at inducing ground outs. Despite the small ball, the powerful bats of Justin Upton and John Hester provided the push that the D-bags needed to put up four runs on Wandy.

At this point, there’s really only one person who can help us. A hero. A hero who drives a shitty pickup. A hero with an inexplicable name. A hero with a mullet. A man named Zap Rowsdower.

Final Score: ARZ 4, HOU 3.

Astros 7, D-backs 14
W: Max Scherzer, L: Yorman Bazardo

Astros Recap
Yahoo Recap

The Astros pitchers were bad on the night. The team scored 6 runs and the game wasn’t even close. It was not close after the 3rd inning.

Bench Tidbits:

This game was one of those games where if you are at the game your conversations can be some of the best you ever have.

I’ve been at blow out games where a friend and I have discussed her dysfunctional relationship with her parents. How she wants to raise her child Catholic but not practice the same religion. There are discussions of what two guys would be the bread to your meat (yes, Bradley was always a slice of bread in that fantasy).

Today was no different. If you read the GameZone at all, you’ll understand. It really started early, before the blowout happened.

Bench mentioned how his plans to see LUMA at Miller Outdoor Theater got cancelled due to thunderstorms in Houston. His revised plans included having his friends come over for baked ziti, rum, wine, more rum and wine and beer. I do not believe he opened the champagne. I think he was planning to save it for the Astros’ rally.

Bench also shared his fond knowledge of St. Louis. The fact that he does not know their historical landmarks and his unwillingness to look them up.

Bench is under obligation to cook for myself and BatGirl. We are looking forward to something special. Can’t wait. Sweet Baby Bench.

Next to be brought up in the non-baseball topics was Jose Cruz III. His recipe for spaghetti is one that left me in awe. He unfortunately did not offer to cook it for BatGirl and I. He’s not quite the favorite that Bench is with us.

OregonStrosFan and subnuclear stopped in for a bit, but they lasted as long as Jacksonian, Ron Brand, jmontessori and Salty Parker.

Lastly the conversation with BatGirl was the most entertaining, for me. We discussed a few people on the board. Such as strosrays’ Annette. Do you realize that there aren’t very many Annette’s that are famous? We only came up with Funicello, Bening, and O’Toole (who really isn’t that famous but is an actress from Houston).

Then we moved onto waxing and how you should take ibuprofen before going to lessen the pain. You also should try to schedule those appointments when you are not experiencing PMS since your skin is more sensitive.

Also discussed was that today was National Cherry Turnover Day. I did my best to stop BatGirl from whoring herself out for a turnover. Did you know that Arby sells a cherry turnover? Well, I do now thanks to BatGirl.

Joel McHale and Chelsea Handler are funny. That was just a quick little side discussion, but they are funny.

Wilton Lopez reminds me of Wilton baking pans. It’s the Wilton brand. They are really nice pans for baking. If anyone ever wants to give me one, feel free. I will probably bake you something as a thank you.

The only puffy dough boy product I purchase is frozen biscuits. They are really good. I’ve only tried to make biscuits once. It was so long ago that I don’t think they turned out well. Otherwise I’d probably still be making them.

I also can help cure anyone with a hungerection. If you want to know what that means, you have to ask BatGirl, she’s working on trademarking the word.

Sweet Baby Bourn plays with fire in his belly. I love that kid. You all already knew that though.

Neither BatGirl nor I have any known food allergies, so anyone planning to cook for us should feel safe with anything they plan to include in the menu. Oh, and BatGirl is mixing the drinks Stolly Bolly for everyone.

Cooter Brown is a new term for shitfaced drunk. I’ve been there, it’s been a couple months since I’ve been that way (May after a softball tournament). The definition of cooter brown is that’s when your memory of the previous night is more fuzzy than clear. How many of you haven’t been there?

One of the last item discussed was insane families. Whether they are yours, your spouse’s or a friends. Either way the insanity is apparently spread throughout. In other words the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

BatGirl knows the guy that does the music at the stadium formally known as BOB. Apparently when Bazardo left the game he played part of Bohemia Rhaphsody.

we will not let him go
let me go!
we will not let him go
let me go!
oh mama mia, mama mia
mama mia let me go

I want to say a special thank you to Bench and BatGirl for making this a game worth watching and recapping (since I couldn’t find anyone willing to recap it).

Go get’em tomorrow boys.,

And a special shout out to the San Antonio McAllister Little League team that plays Ceula Vista, CA (still not willing to check that spelling) tomorrow (Saturday) at 3 pm on ABC. Go Texas!!!! Kick that Cali ass.