Astros 1, Chi Sox 3
W: Sale, L: McMullers, S: Robertson

GameZone
MLB recap

Well, the anticipated start for Mr. Carlos Correa was nice. He got an RBI single and made some spectacular plays in the field. Unfortunately, he was the only Astro on the night to get an RBI.

Hinch had little choice but to start Marwin and Villar in this game, luckily neither at SS. I like Marwin, I have no problem with him. Villar on the other hand, I would not be upset if he was traded. I’m sure he is a nice guy and dances well, but at this point I am not sure what value he’s adding.

Honestly, this team had been playing the way I was expecting at the start of the season. I have loved the run they’ve made so far this season, but I think the league is starting to catch up with them. I would love for them to prove me wrong, but they are going to have to get some hits – and not just homeruns.

I do believe they are more than a pitcher away from the playoffs.

But hey, Mr. Correa is here and so far, I like him a lot.

Invaders 6
Patriots 2, but the Patriots win

submitted by Neil T.

“No! No! I say it again, No! Jean Jacques!” Senator Ted Cruz, the Canadian, screamed at his chief of staff. “This is not right! Jade Helm was a ruse! But our Blue Jays have signaled that the Canadian troops are to proceed to the Walmart in Midland! Merde! Merde!”

***
Standing outside Rogers Centre, deep in the heart of enemy territory in Toronto, handsomely rugged Texas Ranger Captain Berk Lanceman lowered the brim of his Stetson and smiled. It had taken him three days to reach Toronto, flying first to Seattle, crossing to Vancouver as a fuzz pedal delivery boy, crossing by train to Banff dressed as an elderly train aficionado, then hitching a ride on a poutain truck bound for Toronto. No one knew he was here, and no one would know. He adjusted the collar of his ranch duster so that his ruggedly handsome features couldn’t be seen.

It had come to him days before: the incredibly talented Toronto Blue Jays were losing, and there was theoretically no better line-up in baseball. With the work of the Austin high tech community, and a sophomore computer science major from the University of Houston, he had cracked the code that the Blue Jays had used to transmit messages to the American agents of Canadian aggression.

And then he had enlisted the aid of those great patriots, the Houston Astros.

He clicked the heels of his Lucheses three times and wished for home.

***
Always sure of himself, the Canadian pirouetted in despair. How could Roberto Hernandez do this? Lay up pitches for five runs in the bottom of the third? Our Blue Jays were supposed to score nothing! And Hernandez forced two home runs!

Then the bottom of the sixth! The brilliant Altuve gets both an assist and an error when Carter clearly lets the runner knock the ball from his glove! Mon dieux!

And finally, the Astros get a run in the ninth from the Communist Castro’s home run after the Astros offense had combined for only three runs, making Sanchez look brilliant! Nothing else mattered in this game, Jade Helm 15 was launched! Villar and Springer singled, then Villar scored on a throwing error! But it was too little too late, and the damage was done!

***
Below the Oklahoma border, off highway 287, an American patriot, a member of the Texas Brigade, posted the following on the Texas Brigade secret network:

“Saw two strange looking Helicopters flying west in tandem near Kirkland on 287..had the tail rotors high and had some what looked like cameras or ??? hanging under them…military gray in color…”

Astros rookie starter picks up second win and first complete game

WP: McCullers (2 – 0)
LP: Gonzalez (5 – 4)

submitted by Sphinx Drummond

BOX

Gamezone

Backed-up by three solo home runs Lance McCullers was all the Astros needed on the mound Wednesday night. The rookie right-hander allowed only four hits and no walks, struck out 11 batters, and went the distance for his first complete game and second major league victory. After surrendering a single with two outs in the ninth, manager A. J. Hinch made a mound visit to check on the status of his young pitcher, to see if he had enough left in the tank to finish the game. Lance assured him he did. And he was right.

All the Astros runs were supplied by solo home runs, two by Chris Carter ( 9 & 10 ), who has climbed above the Mendoza line, and one by George Springer ( 8 ). In the process of smacking two dingers Carter increased his RBI total to 29 putting him ahead of Altuve for second most on the team. Gattis leads with the team with 36 RBI.

Baltimore starter Miguel Gonzalez struck out eight and allowed just four hits, in 6 2/3 innings as the Orioles dropped their fifth straight.

The Astros are off to the best start in franchise history with an American League-best 34-20 record. With Jose Altuve’s average slipping, all the Astros regular hitters are now batting in the .200s except Valbuena who is still hitting below .200. The bullpen got another valuable night off.

Thursday’s game is a businessman’s special with a 2:10 pm CST Baltimore sends Wei-YinChen (1-4, 3.21 ERA) to face off against Dallas Keuchel (7-1, 1.76 ERA) and if Keuchel is up to task, maybe the bully gets another day off.

Attendance – 20305
Game Time – 2:14
Temperature – 84

Orioles 2, Astros 5
W: Harris, L: Branch, S: Gregerson

MLB recap
GameZone

So, for many summer is here. The showers of May seem to be evaporating as quickly as it fell and kids are at night baseball games. The views they were showing of the Houston night were gorgeous and made me wish someone had given me a ticket to the game. But anyway, I was tired and would not have really wanted to go because I stayed up late the night before watching UH and Rice in their 20 inning game.

This was a good game to watch. The Astros won. Those are always good games to watch. Plus, Hinch made great pitching changes. Oberholtzer did a good job going 5.1 innings and giving up only 2 runs. He was okay when he got the hook unlike Jimenez who seemed a bit upset. The way Brownie and Ashy were talking I thought he might go all Taveras on the phone, but he didn’t.

Anyway, Harris, Neshek and Gregerson came in for 3.2 innings of hitless baseball. Damm, it is really nice have a relief pitcher with a 0.35 ERA. Hell, yeah, it’s real nice.

The Astros had their big inning in the 7th when 8 guys came to the plate and scored 4 runs. Not a bad day at the office. Valbuena went 2 for 3 with a walk. One of those hits happened to land in the RF seats. Not a bad day for him but his average is .196 after all that production. Hopefully he rains some hits in the new month.

Summer school started for me on Monday. I’m taking Intermediate Macroeconomics and Intermediation Microeconomics. I do enjoy the topics but let me tell you about a classmate. He’s so freaking irritating. He does not the instructor finish a sentence before he spouts something as though he is an official on the topic. If you know so much about macroeconomics then why are you in this class??? Ugh. I also know I’m not the only one to find him tiresome, there are a couple others who made eyerolls, sighs, and under-the-breath comments. I don’t have a problem if someone has a question, but he seems to be trying to challenge the professor. Do that on your own time not mine.

Not the Cubs 6
Astros 3

submitted by Neil T

Not the Cubs 6
Astros 3

While I was watching last night’s game, it occurred to me that lately I’ve been doing stuff I haven’t done in years. I figured we needed a refresher course on stuff we’ve forgotten.

Standings: These days standings are kept up-to-the minute online with every win or loss. I know, because I check them three or four times a day. The Astros are in first place in the AL West, which means you can actually look at standings and not despair.
Tonight’s first out on Melky Cabrera was a beautiful diving catch in the gap by Marisnick. That’s this season. McCullers gave up a single to Abreu, then struck out LaRoche and Ramirez.

The bottom of the first was an Altuve up-the-center single, followed by Altuve taking second on a Tucker fly-out to center. Altuve was out at home to end the inning on a Gattis single.

Power Rankings: These are meaningless rankings of teams by perceived baseball virtues, and the Astros virtues are never valued as much as they should be. Pre-2005 there used to be that one power ranking posted weekly by ESPN.com, and I always felt dirty looking at it. Now everybody, from U.S. News & World Report to Cosmopolitan, seems to have a MLB power ranking, and they’re still all meaningless. And I still feel dirty checking them. Especially the one in Cosmopolitan.

McCullers struggled in the second, but the White Sox left the bases loaded.

Chris Carter led off the second with a broken bat single, and then Valbuena hit into a double play. Villar grounded out.

Defending the Catcher. Castro is having a spectacular season, but he’s a catcher. He will not be the offensive player that some random nitwit, me for instance, thinks he should be. It’s time to dust off the reasons a catcher isn’t just judged by his offense.

You know the best thing about an incredibly dumb 2-out error by the catcher? It will always induce a comment by HH. I think Conger’s one-run passed ball and throwing error would have brought HH back from the dead.

Bottom of the 4th, Astros tie it with a Gattis and Carter singles.

ESPN.Com: The best thing about losing was that I never bothered to look at ESPN.com. I was a better person, I think.

Top of the 5th, McCullers gave up a single and two walks, and was pulled for Thatcher. McCullers kept the game close, and struck out 7 in 4.1 innings, but he struggled most of the game, and left with two walks and two HBP. I feel no overwhelming sense of well-being when Thatcher approaches the mound, and last night didn’t change that. After a sac fly and a walk, Thatcher was pulled for Harris. Harris walked Shuck, loading the bases for what I recall was the third time. Flowers flied out to right.

Bottom of the 5th, Villar with a lead-off double, and advances on a Conger grounder to 2nd. Then Marisnick struck out and Springer flied out to center. 2-1 White Sox.

Team Statistics: The last couple of seasons the only statistics I’ve checked from time to time were Kris Karter’s strikeout totals and Jose Altuve’s batting average. Now I’ve discovered Team Statistics. They are apparently fascinating, because I’ve spent hours studying them. Did you know that the Astros are throwing the fewest four-seam fastballs in the majors?

The 6th was the weirdest damn inning ever. Ever. Altuve, who went 2 for 4 with a walk and seems to be hitting again, led off with a single. Tucker doubled moving Altuve to third. Gattis was then called out for interference. I can’t remember the last time I saw an interference call. Carter, who went 2 for 4, hit a sac fly plating Altuve, and Tucker advanced to 3rd on a Cabrera throwing error. Valbuena reached first on an Abreu throwing error that was challenged but upheld, and Tucker scored. How come this shit didn’t happen in 2005? End of the inning, Astros up 3-2.

Clarks: I saw a Clark today. It think it’s been years. It was too bad, too, because I was thinking about how we should be kinder and gentler to Clarks, and then this one Clarked it.

Is there anything in a game better than watching Neshak pitch? Three up, three down.

Rodon was run after the first out. Still three up, three down.

Avg overrated. Wasn’t this what Bill James said all along? Astros are last in average, 12th in OPS. Combine that with good pitching and good defense and you’ve got a team leading its division.

White Sox tied it in the top of the 9th with a Beckham pinch hit home run off Qualls.

Extra innings can be exciting, interesting things. But not last night. Kris came in from Austin and I turned off the tv after the 9th because, well, that’s what you’re supposed to do. The Stros lost in 11. For some reason the Box gives the loss to Fields, but it looks from the play by play that Sipp took the loss. Sipp has been money, but something seems wrong. I think that’s three losses in 7 games.

Detroit 1Q84
Astros some less

submitted by NeilT

I’m really excited about the long weekend. I plan to fish tomorrow if it doesn’t rain, and the long weekend at the start of the summer just feels luxurious like it’s never felt before. Maybe it’s because the Astros have played so well. Tonight I sat on the porch and drank the season’s first gin and tonic—I’d had the bottle of tonic water unopened in the frig since last summer. I smoked a cigar and drank a couple of gins and tonics made with the dried out lime I found in the crisper and read my book, Colorless Tsukuru Tazake and his Years of Pilgrimage, by Haruke Murakami. I’ve read two other novels by Murakami, Kafka on the Shore and 1Q84, and I liked them both. His novels live in a mundane world measured against the strange.

The game was on in the house and I was listening to the TV feed through the speakers on the patio. Since I didn’t have Comcast I’m late to the party, and I hate to admit how poor my baseball sensibilities are, but I don’t mind Ashby at all. If I’m sitting on the porch and just listening without watching, I can follow the game pretty well. And I find him and Blum funny, and him and Brownie fine. It’s heresy, I know, but there you are. I even like the banter with Julia. I’ll gladly give up my recap space if you want somebody with better taste.

Anyway, I managed about 40 pages of the novel during the game. Like I said, Murakami writes a strange novel. This one is about a guy who doesn’t appear to be anything special, hence the “colorless”. He’s very short, not more than 5’5” I’d guess, and he has a wonderful life at a very young age. His best friend is a bat named Lightning, and he does everything with that bat. His last year of high school he wins the school batting championship, ending the season with a .341 average. But then he goes home over a college break and calls the bat, just to hang out, you know? And the bat won’t talk to him. He pushes. He calls the bat every day and the bat won’t answer his calls. Finally the bat returns his call.

“Jose Tsukuru,” the bat says, “I can’t see you again.” “But why?” says Jose. “You know why,” says Lightning.

Of course Tsukuru has no clue, and neither does the reader. Why does a bat who has been your closest companion suddenly shun you? Tsukuru assumes it’s his own failing, and the reader wonders, what has Jose Tsukuru done to deserve his fate? Tonight Jose Tsukuru went 0 for 4, and his average slipped below .300.

The novel jumps around in time, and Tsukuru in the present is in his late 30s and an engineer who works on the design of railroad stations. You wouldn’t think there was much call for a designer of railroad stations, but this is Japan, not Texas, and for Japanese engineers railroad station work is probably as common as highway interchanges for Texas engineers. Tsukuru meets a girl, Homaruna, who he likes. They go out. They sleep together.

McHugh made one bad pitch, but when you’ve got a team batting .228, you can’t really afford a lot of mistakes. In the top of the third, the Stros had gone up by 2 after Valbuena reached on a Kinsler error, allowing Castro to score. Then Springer doubled driving in Valbuena. McHugh’s mistake was to some dude named J.D. Martinez. Where did this guy come from? Martinez: 3-run homer.

So back to the novel, Homeruna tells Tsukuru that she will be friends, but she will not sleep with Tsukuru again until he tells her the name of his bat, Lightning, so that she can find where Lightning is.

Poor Tsukuru! He has fallen in love with Homeruna, and she has deserted him! Springer has a great night, 2 for 4, but no Homeruna. Gattis goes 0 for 3 with one walk, Tucker 0 for 3, Rasmus, 0 for 3 with a golden sombrero, Carter 0 for 3 with 2 Ks. It was ugly. Ugly. In the book, Homeruna is a very attractive woman, but when she’s not there, it’s ugly. And really, what can Tsukuru do when the woman he desires won’t sleep with him?

Castro, by the way, went 2 for 3. Nice night for Castro. Nice night for Springer.

I’m about a quarter through the novel. I’ll follow it to the end (unless, of course, I’m shunned for being ok with Ashby), but I gots to tell ya: after tonight it’s one hard read. I hope Jose Tsukuru finds out why Lightning is shunning him. I hope Homeruna sleeps with the Astros again. But you know what? After the last three years, it’s hard to have much faith. I still expect that at the end of the night it will be 6-2.