Astros 4, Mariners 1

Submitted by Reuben

These questions may be easy for many of you, if you follow MLB as a whole more closely than I do these days: Who is now 5th in the AL in ERA, with 2.55? Who is tied for 1st in the AL in WHIP, at 0.98? Who is 5th in K/BB ratio, with a 5.08/1? Who is 7th in Innings Pitched, including 1st among those who have made only 10 starts? Who is tied for first in Complete Games, and 2nd in Shutouts?

In other words, who has been one of the very best pitchers in the AL by virtually every measure? Yep, our boy Dallas Keuchel. Now raise your hand if you saw this coming before the season.

Keuchel turned in yet another masterful performance Sunday afternoon, baffling Seattle hitters for the full 9 innings, allowing just 4 hits, 0 walks, and needing only 106 pitches. In fact, if not for his own error, and some crummy luck at the end of his last game, Dallas would have 3 shutouts now.

The Astros offense gave him a decent amount of support, as George Springer’s 6th-inning 2-run home run (his 3rd in 2 days) reversed the 1-0 deficit, and Krauss’s 2-run shot an inning later provided some breathing room. Jose Altuve had another multi-hit game, bringing his AVG to .326, good for 3rd in the league. While I generally detest premature All-Star talk, I can’t help but wonder if the Astros will actually wind up with more than the required 1 per team this year. Keuchel and Altuve certainly have both earned it thus far, although there is plenty of competition.

***

Futility Watch: While the Astros won their 2nd game in a row (and now have a 3-game Sunday winning streak), it was not a good week for them, thanks to the 4-game losing skid from Anaheim to Seattle, so they are once again the worst team in baseball. The Cubs, at 18-30, are .002 percentage points better than the Astros (1/2 game), and Arizona is 20-32, also a half-game ahead. But guess who is now rather close, in 27th place? None other than The Defending World Champs, the Boston Red Sox, thanks to their current 10-game losing streak. The Astros are only 2 games behind the World Champs.

Astros 9, Mariners 4

W: Oberholtzer (1-6)
L: Maurer (1-3)

The Mariners decided to celebrate 1979 on Saturday, so the Visiting Nine broke out the Rainbow Gut jerseys before administering a first-class Village People-style ass-whipping right out of the 70s. Careful not to stain the polyester, the Astros Got To Be Real with a pair of two-run bombs from Le Freak George Springer, who wouldn’t even be born until ten years after the year being celebrated. For Houston, Every 1 Was A Winner yesterday because Seattle couldn’t Hold The Line during this Boogie Wonderland.

No Cedeno or Cruz, no J. R. Richard or Joe Niekro necessary, as the Team That Made Mario Mendoza Famous staggered and bumbled like baseball’s Chuck Wepner, unable to slip even the wildest of punches. Altuve, discoing the league in hits, didn’t stop ’til he got enough to lead Houston in tying its season high with 11 on the day. Heaven Knows, Obie Oberholzer had a bad case of loving the feeble Mariners, giving them the Sad Eyes by challenging them in the strike zone and setting them down after a two-run first. These were Good Times, not a Tragedy. Ain’t No Stopping Us Now.

Iwakuma takes on Keuchel today in a Slopmaster’s Special. Maybe you can catch it on the radio, because those of us in Texas sure as hell won’t see it on TV.

submitted by Neil T

I came home last night and went to sleep at 6, and just woke up at 12. I think the same thing must have happened in Seattle. Anyway, I thought this would be an excellent chance to review the Astros-Salt Scab’s history, particularly since not much happened in the game.

We all know why Bud Selig moved the Astros to the American League. He caved to the demands of all fandom to let the greatest natural rivals in baseball, the Astros and the Mariners, face each other across a division.

Dodgers-Giants, nothing. Yankees-Red Sox, who cares? Cubs-Cubs? ‘Nuff said. Astros-Mariners? That’s the Beatles and the Rolling Stones.

Just recall for a moment their early World Series history.

1903. The first modern Series. The Boston Americans of the American League faced off against the Pittsburgh Pirates of the National League. For once the Seattle media got it right: “If it’s not the Astros and the Mariners, why bother?” As Honus Wagoner said: “We was too bum last year. We was the joke in that Boston-Pittsburgh Series. What does it profit a team to hammer along and take a few wins when everybody knows the wrong teams are playing? I am ashamed we was even there.”

Boston took the series, 5-3 (it was a nine game series). The Astros would have whipped the Mariners’ butts in 5.

The first World Series generally recognized as “great”—recognizing that no World Series could be great without the Mariners facing the Astros—was the 1912 Series between Boston and the New York Giants. This was the series when Fred Snodgrass dropped a catchable fly ball to allow two Red Sox runs in a 3-2 Sox win. The Sox went on to take the 8-game Series 4-3-1. Interestingly, it was scheduled as an 8-game series, but one game was declared a tie when they ran out of daylight in extra innings. That wouldn’t have happened at MMPUS. Christy Mathewson pitched for the Giants, and Smoky Joe Wood for the Sox.

Mathewson, always the gentleman, let it be known that while he gave it his best, this should have been an Astros-Mariners series. Which team would have taken the Series? I have to give this one to the Mariners. In 1912 they were as good as they ever were.

1919. This quote from Eddie Ciccotte says it all. “Ah hell, of course we threw the Series. Why wouldn’t we? It wasn’t like nobody cared about the Black Sox and the Reds. All we heard night and day was Astros-Mariners.” The Mariners were the better team that year, but they had no compass. They took the gamblers’ money and the Astros took the Series.

1924, the Senators and the Giants, with four games decided by one run. This was Walter Johnson’s series. In game 7, with the Series tied and the Senators behind 3-1 in the eighth, a routine ground ball took a bad hop and allowed two runs to score. The 36-year old Big Train held on in relief through extra innings until another ground ball bounce gave the Senators the Series.

“I just wish I’d done it for the Astros against the Mariners,” the Big Train was quoted, “they’ve got a train and I am a Train. This should have been the Astros, with me taking that final win under that locomotive’s wail.”

History. It’s what makes this historic rivalry so historic. Next time we’ll talk about the 30s and the 40s.

***
But tonight the Astros lost 6-1, which was the ‘Stros 4th loss on a rough West Coast swing. Brad Peacock, who had just put his 30-win season on track, was out with a sore forearm. Rudy Owens, a AAA lefthander who sports either a 1.13 or a 10.05 ERA was brought in from OKC for the start. Interestingly, Rudy Owens has never been mentioned in the Bus Ride. Not once. He’s pitched 140.1 innings for OKC in May.

Jose Altuve had 3 hits with one double off of King Felix, and now leads the major leagues with 66 hits. Who’d’ve thunk? He had the single RBI, driving in Marwin Gonzalez playing 3rd. Dominguez DHd, which is the worst verb ever. King Felix had 10 K, and 4 LOB.

The Bilious Salt-Scummed Barnacle Lickers had 11 hits, 2bb, and 2Ks. Owens pitched 5.2 innings giving up 5 ER. Downs—who the hell is Downs? Has he been in the bullpen all season and I just haven’t noticed?—went 1.1 with 1 ER on 2 hits. Qualls pitched the final frame with one K.

Seaturds 3 Astros 1

Mr. Happy</strong>