Astros at Brewers, 6/25/07
Score: Brewers 6, Astros 1
W: Sheets (9-3) L: Jennings (1-2)
Homeruns: Lee (13), Hardy (18), Fielder (27)
March to 3000: 2,996 (DNP)
Read Alyson’s Report Here: Footer
Or the AP recap here: ESPN

Flat. Apathetic. Tedious.

Consult you own thesaurus for other words to describe the Astros’ performance in this one. Read More

June 23, 1007

Rangers 7
Astros 2

W: Wright | L: Oswalt
Biggio sits strategically at 2993

Light-hitting Game Zone
Where’s the Shiner 98? Find out in the Talk Zone

Other coverage:
Alyson talks to Roy
AP via Yahoo!

The Silver Boot needs to kick this team in the ass. The offense wilted in the north Texas sun and the big inning continued to hurt Houston pitching as the Astros dropped another one to the fucking stRangers, 7-2. That’s 3 straight if you’re counting.
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Rangers 11, Astros 3
W: Millwood (4-6) | L: Williams (3-10)
Seven hits shy of 3000 for Biggio (2993, 1-5)

AP recap
Footer wrap

Woody Williams had a bad game. He started shaky by allowing three hits and a run in the first inning, and allowed another run on a walk and a hit in the second. Woody seemed to regain his effectiveness by escaping a three-walk jamb in the third, and retired the side in order in the fourth. By the time he took to the hill in the fifth, his teammates had spotted him with a 3-2 lead. The slim lead quickly vanished as he gave up a single then back-to-back homers and he was quickly yanked, throwing 103 pitches in his 4+ innings and down 5-3 on the scoreboard.Read More

June 20, 2007
Astros 4, Los Anaheim Halos at Disney 8
W: Carrasco (2-1) | L: Borkowski (1-2)
The End is Near: 2,992 (0-5)
Bask in the Game Zone majesty (particularly, absorb the emotional transition between pages 12 and 14)
Discuss the possibility of carrying as many as 14 pitchers in the Talk Zone

Other coverage:
AP Recap
The Footer Recap

I want so badly to see a pitcher bat again

Beer league’s almost over, kids. Hang in there. Hang in there. The ‘Stros dropped the rubber game 8-4 with another 7th inning clusterfuck, marring a good outing by Wandy and a strong performance by Thunder Pants at the plate.Read More

Smarch 13, 2013
Obliques: Eleventy, Shoulders: 0
W: Sammy Davis, Jr. | L: Spuds MacKenzie
Other coverage

Super Karate Monkey Death Car
The original title of this book was ‘Jimmy James, Capitalist Lion Tamer’ but I see now that it’s… ‘Jimmy James, Macho Business Donkey Wrestler’… you know what it is… I had the book translated in to Japanese then back in again into English. Macho Business Donkey Wrestler… well there you go… it’s got kind of a ring to it don’t it? Anyway, I wanted to read from chapter three… which is the story of my first rise to financial prominence… I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street… many days no business come to my hut… my hut… but Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no. I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo… dung. …Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans… and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey.

Mr. James, what did you mean when you wrote bad clown making like super American car racers, I would make them sweat, War War?
Well, you know… it’s LIKE when a clown is making like a car… racer… it’s sorta… like… the FCC. The CLOWN… the clown is like the FCC… and I was opposed to the FCC at the time, right? So it was like I was declaring War. WARRRR!

So then did the American yum yum clown monkey also represent the FCC?
Yeah, it did. Thanks a LOT!