E(4) = L(3) for Wandy

Posted on April 12, 2012 by Andyzipp in Featured, Game Recaps, News

Somehow…I became responsible for this recap (and the one yesterday). I blame Polish women with a penchant for quitting.

Anyway, for the second time in two opportunities this season, four errors during a Wandy Rodriguez (0-1, 2.38) start led to loss Wednesday night as the Astros lost to the Braves 6-3. The loss wasted decent offensive performances from the remarkably mellow Jordan Schafer (.348), the diminutive Jose Altuve (.368) and the happy to be here/in need of a shave J.D. Martinez (.364), who hit his second dinger of the season in the first inning to give Houston their one and only lead of the game.

The Braves, who were making their last trip to Houston for the forseeable future, cashed in on wild pitches, shoddy defense and the sort of general malaise that the ticket-buying public possesses and HudsonHawk laments. During a particularly forgettable fourth inning, Atlanta managed to bat around with assistance from three of the four Astros hamfistings in the top of the frame. After a few more innings of general slapdickery, they called it a game.

The loss dropped the Astros (3-3) to .500 for the season, which…yay? Still better than expectations…still better than the Cubs.

Up next, 3 games against the Florida Miami Miracle Marlins in remarkably gaudy Marlins Park, which may or may not have Harvey Firestein working the PA.

The PA is reported to think the situation is fabulous.

Scary

Posted on April 9, 2012 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Braves 3, Astros 8
L: Beachy, W: Happ

This team is fun to watch right now. Granted it is only the 4th game of the season but if they continue to improve the attendance might improve.

I won’t say too much about the game, I’ll save that for the professionals. What I will comment on is my limited observations.

1 – If the boys play solid baseball – little to no errors – they improve their chances to win. That Opening Day game was ugly and hopefully an abberation.
2 – The pitching may be good if they believe the boys can continue to come back and win games.
3 – I still love JD and Brownie. I really believe they are the best tv guys in baseball.
4 – Luhnow may be an interesting GM, seems he has a plan and is willing to put it into place.
5 – There are going to be an unlimited number of references to Major League.
6 – I think this season is going to be fun to watch. Not sure how the boys will do, but think this is going to be fun.

Maybe it’s the crowd.

Posted on April 8, 2012 by Ron Brand in Featured, Game Recaps

On a day with all this talk of redemption and rebirth and re this and re that, making old things new or something that wasn’t into something that is, today we saw the sweet breath of life resuscitating the moribund Home Nine into something like the Guns of Navarone. Don’t be messing with us, boy, we gots pitchin’ and timely hittin’ and little dudes flying around the bases…we got us a TEAM, boy, and don’t you forget it…

At least for today. This was a good weekend, facing off against a foe that strikes no fear in the heart after having to contend with real champeens and being shown how wide the gulf had become. Today the almost-previously-dead Juan Nicasio rose to the hill and matched Our Golden Surfer over seven. He left with a 2-1 lead courtesy of #7-hitting absolute-nobody Wilin Rosario’s two-run yackleberry in the fourth. Mighty Mouse led off the bottom of the frame with a triple and was driven in by El Caballo’s two-bagger and that score held until the bottom of the eighth. With two out, MM and Martinez stacked singles and then Caballo nerfed a roller to third but the throw to first was awry, scoring pinch-runner Bixler.

Lefty Rex Brothers, who can bring that freaking ball, who reduces lefthanders to flailing Nancy Boys, who had all the advantages, was facing Lefty Bogusevic because Mills’ options were a lot like the Easter Bunny. Bogey, with all of 19 plate appearances against lefties in his career, with a .118 batting average against them, with a snappy .118 slugging percentage against them, promptly screamed the first pitch into right for the winner.

Redemption. Rebirth. Resuscitation. Indeed.

Myers came on for the ninth and New Astro Killer Cuddyer doubled. With two out, Helton drew a pinch-hit walk, but Colvin bounced out to end the game and send the Astros over .500 for the first time since 2009.

Attendance was announced as 14,195 paid. I can imagine how I’d promote a game on Easter Sunday, but it would probably result in a crowd even smaller than the 5000 or so who actually showed up. I don’t know how they did it in other cities, but they did draw more fans.

Screw ’em – the ones who showed up saw a good one, and they saw a team that is trying to win instead of searching how to play well enough to not be embarrassed. There’s a big difference.

Go Astros!

To Err is Human; To Err an Assload is Houston.

Posted on April 7, 2012 by Andyzipp in Featured, Game Recaps, News

Four errors helped the Astros waste a decent start by Wandy Rodriguez in their last season opener as a National League team Friday night, dropping a 5-3 decision to the visiting Colorado Rockies.

As the last link to the 2005 World Series team, and the “best” pitcher on the roster, Rodriguez drew the opening day assignment for the first time in his career by default. He managed the general fuckwititry surrounding him as well as he could, delivering six and a third innings, allowing 6 hits, 2 walks and 3 runs, none earned. So, quality start? Hooray? He also was credited with one of the errors, mainly because Jose Altuve had the Lollipop Guild song stuck in his head and forgot to cover first base on a bunt. Allegedly.

Several of Rodriguez’s teammates in the infield joined the error parade, including Chris Johnson, Altuve and Jason Castro. Carlos Lee refused to participate in the shenanigans by refusing to move for most of the game. If you live in Denver, Castro’s 8th inning gaff proved to be the game winner, and you’re likely very grateful, because who the hell wants to lose to this decades’ Pirates. Otherwise, watching Castro launch a ball behind a frozen runner into center field, resulting in a two base error, looked like a 2011 highlight.

One bright spot: Contractyear Lee began his year long audition for a job in the American League next year as soon as possible by picking up an RBI in the 1st inning and knocking the snot out of a 4th inning offering from Jeremy Guthrie over the eternally unnecessary train tracks in left field. Unfortunately, he didn’t hit the engineer, who apparently came straight to the game from an audition for a stage adaptation of 1993’s Super Mario Bros.

Overall, it appeared that despite wholesale changes in the front office and player ranks during the off-season, not much has changed from last season. There’s just not enough pitching or hitting to make up for a four error game. The opener was a game that a mediocre team would have won. The Astros will have to aspire to mediocrity for 2012.

Assuming the Mayans are wrong, next year, when they open with a loss to the Royals, maybe we’ll see some tangible progress. But for now, at least baseball, or whatever it is the Astros were doing Friday night, is back.

Sanchez squeezes off St. Louis steamer

Posted on September 28, 2011 by Ty in Tampa in Featured, Game Recaps

Monday, September 26th, 2011

Turds 4
Astros 5

W: New Dad! | L: Don’t ask Dotel

It’s come down to this. A season as awful as many of us have ever witnessed comes to a close with a chance to fuck up the shit of a hated rival. As much as I would love to see this happen, I got one-hundred-and-four reasons to be skeptical. I guess my piss-poor attitude hasn’t had any effect on the team, at least for game 1 of this 3-game closer.

There is no match for the level of hate I have for the Cardinals. The fact that Berkman landed there has soiled his already dingy rep with me, so much so that he rides high on the shitheap, sitting bitch between Pooholes and LaGenius. Watching them crumble like day-old coffeecake has been one of the elusive pleasures this dark, dark season has given me. They are like one, big smirk and I’d like nothing more than to have our little team that couldn’t wipe that fucking thing off the face of the Gateway to the West.

Wandy looked wobbly as usual but when all was said and done, he got it done. As usual. He gave up the first Turd run in the 3rd after Freese singled then the mighty cocksucker doubled, moving Freese to 3rd. Holliday then laced a sharp single to left, scoring Freese but giving JD plenty of time to gun down Pooholes, who inexplicably headed home. Tough guy couldn’t even be bothered to try and score.

The boys took the lead pretty quickly in the bottom of the 3rd. Two straight singles, a beautiful sac bunt by Wandy and some heads-up baserunning by Barmes tied it up. Then a sweet double to left by Booj scored Towles to put the Astros ahead.

One inning later, a walk to Lee and a bomb by your right fielder, Matt Downs had the Astros up 4-1, but the Turds got one back in the top of the 5th. Wandy got hisself into quite the jam, giving up a double, walk and a single to load ’em with no out. But just as quick as he got into it, he got out of it yielding just 1 run on a Freese DP and a cocksucker K.

Major meltdown in the 8th, F-Rod starts the fun by giving up a Pooholes single and a walk to Holliday. Millsie calls on WW – sans the Dixie Dance Kings – to turn El Vendo to his weakish side. Of course, the shithead bangs a shot off the wall in left that caroms away from Booj and back towards the infield. Both turds on base scored to tie the thing up and it was looking dire for the task at hand. This all coming just as word of the Braves failings against the Phillies.

The score remained tied into the 10th as new dad Mark Melancon handled the Turds shakily but effectively. Dotel sat the Astros down 1-2-3 in the 9th and came on again in the 10th. First batter Bogie sliced a flare into left that rolled to the wall and landed him at 2nd base. A sac bunt by Booj was booted by Dotel and it’s now 1st and 3rd, no out.

The Man that is Angel Sanchez watches. He listens. He feels the situation. He knows that Dotel fucked up once, and he will again. Actually, it was just a textbook squeeze play executed to perfection. Sanchez laid it softly down the 1st base line and by the time Dotel reached the ball and attempted a scoop toss, Bogie was sliding across the plate.

So instead of the Turds dancing around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots on the turf of Minute Maid Park, the Astros celebrated in similar fashion, one of those satisfying though all-but insignificant victories that this season-from-hell hands them. But for me, this Astros fan, it’s far from insignificant. Watching the Turds eat a shit sandwich in such a crucial situation is manna for me. It keeps me alive and fuels the hunger I will feel for the season to come around again, with all the promises that a clean slate brings. I will once again have the hope and anticipation for what lies ahead for this young team and I will be there when it all begins again.

Unless the move to the fucking AL.

Personal note:

Just like the Astros, this hasn’t exactly been one of my better seasons. Mailing it in a few times and missing a few starts due to a strained work ethic. But I still enjoy writing these recaps, like pitcher likes to take the hill with it all on the line. I hope they brought you a smile once in a while. They do for me, every time.

Thanks as always to the admins, BudGirl and to all of you freaks who read this trash. Onward through the void!

Changes are Coming

Posted on September 28, 2011 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Cardinals 13, Astros 6
W:Sanchez (3-1)L:Del Rosario (0-3)

Boxscore and Recap

This game was like many this season, the Astros scored some runs and the bullpen lost it. I do not think many that paid attention this season are surpised. Some of us still except the boys in mud and blood to win every game regardless of the reality of the roster.

I have nothing good to say about the Cardinals. I expect them to win the wild card, please note I do not want that expectation to come true. Atlanta is falling apart and I want Bourn to have a chance at the playoffs. I do not always seem to get what I want.

Bench Tidbits

Well, like most things in life change comes whether we want it or not.

There should be a change in the ownership of the Astros, which most seem to want. I have friends asking me what I think of the “new” owner. I do not think anything of him right now. What’s to think, he technically has not bought the team and therefore has not made any changes. If what some have reported that he wants to rebuild the base of the team (farm system), then I can get on board with that. I supported the Astros through this season, I can keep doing it for a couple more years.

There is no change in the General Manager (Ed Wade) or Manager (Brad Mills) to date, but that could change if there is a new owner. I used to defend both of these guys, and I will still defend Wade a bit but I’m pretty much done with Mills. I just expected better baseball under his leadership. That is not to say more wins (but aren’t we all expecting wins?) but better fundamental baseball. This team seems to need a change in philosophy. Too many errors and just sloppy play this year. I blame that on the manager. I realize they may not get to every baseball hit, but this isn’t Little League and the players should know what to do in game situations.

I really don’t know how much the roster will change. I expect little. The pitching, if anything, will probably not get better. Barring any accident, I think Norris will be the Opening Day starter. I think this because I suspect Wandy and Myers are going to be traded this offseason. Not sure the Astros will get anything for Myers, but if a deal can be done then I think one will get done.

I do remember a couple years back during Spring Training when Brian Bogusevic started playing right field. He was playing solid defense out there and I liked it. I think he becomes the starting right fielder next year. Bogusevic is the only “youngin'” I’ll make a prediction about. Too many variables to know what could happen next Spring Training. For all we know Mier might be on the Astros next year.

But not all changes coming this offseason have to do with baseball. It seems as though wedding bells are ringing. I have 3 sets of friends/family getting married on Nov. 12th. I also have weddings to attend in December and May, but it is only one per day then. And then there are all the babies.

UT and A&M apparently are no longer friends. And neither of them will return calls from UH (I don’t know that, I just suspect it is true).

Friends are moving. I have one friend planning to transfer to Canada. I do not think she is going to be prepared for that level of cold. Most people know that I would adjust well to that.

And in closing, may your upcoming 2011-2012 Void be filled with only good things. If you change jobs, may it be by your choice. May those of you with birthdays and anniversaries have happy ones. Enjoy any and all holidays. May you enjoy your offseason and do well at fantasy football. Don’t forget, Opening Day is April 6th. Hope to see you next season.

Go D-backs!

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