Shitburger

Posted on June 10, 2009 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Cubs 7, Astros 1
W: Ted Lilly, L: Brian Moehler

All I can think to say about the Astros for this game is they are shitburger factory.

The offense was bad against “a slop throwing lefty that sucks shit through a straw” pitcher, Lilly. The defense wasn’t always sharp for Moehler, I guess he forgot to tell Maysonet not to screw up before the game. And the pitching wasn’t all that great either.

Seriously, why do the Astros treat us fans like this when they play these assholes? Why? What did we ever do to them? Not buy enough food and beverages at the games? Not go to enough games? Is Hunter mad because not enough people are sitting in the lodge? What could the reason possibly be for them to produce shitburgers against this team? Ughh, I hate the Cubs.

Hopefully Wandy will find a way to get off his 3-game skid to allow the boys a chance against Zambrano. (Talk about an asshole that I absolutely hate.)

Question of the day for the Talk Zone. If you could get rid of one of the current Cub players, which would it be. I honestly can’t decide between Zambrano and Sorryano. I hate them both. And I don’t usually hate, usually I stick to a strong dislike of someone.

Bench Tidbits:

The Red Wings wanted to win the NHL Lord Stanley’s Cup on home ice, so game 7 here they come.

The Orlando Magic were able to win a game against the Minnesota Lakers, so they won’t get swept.

Check out Mark’s preview for more information on the series.

Read the GameZone for game-time reactions.

Want to know something about the future of this team/organization. Check out the 2009 Draft thread in the Bus Ride Discussion Forum.

The Rise of Barney Rubble

Posted on June 9, 2009 by OregonStrosFan in Game Recaps

Houston 6, Pittsburgh 4
WP- Fulchino (1-1), S- Hawkins (8), LP- Jackson (1-1): Boxscore
McTaggart (Astros.com)
Game Zone

Don’t look now, but you 2009 Houston Astros have won three straight series moving them up to, um, last in the NL Central. “Big deal, they only beat the Pirates, D-backs and Pirates” you say? Well, yeah, but the Pirates swept The Mole in between their two series with the Good Guys and the D-backs just completed a 4-game sweep the Co-ards, so that’s gotta count for something, eh? (Well, no. The wwl says the Astros suck, so it must be so.)

In any event, Sunday was a good day for the Good Guys. Sunday was also a good day for the oft overlooked Barney Rubble (aka ‘Q’) and Russ Ortiz. Sunday was not a good day* for the Pirates.

*In fact, it was a bad week for the Pirates (Mole spanking notwithstanding). The Pirates players are not happy about the about the trade of All Star center fielder Nate McClouth to the Atlanta Braves for a Larry Wayne Jones topless photograph (autographed) and a gross of Snuggies. “There ain’t a guy in here who ain’t [ticked] off about it” Roach #1 said. “They might be trying to hide it or whatever, but … hey…”. Anyway, I get it that they were mad and missed their boy… but… making his replacement McCutchen paint himself in whiteface and call himself ‘Nate’? That’s just stupid. Even Ted Dansen thinks that is stupid.

Alas I digress. Oh yeah, the Rise of Barney Rubble. In case you haven’t noticed, Q has been busting his butt behind the dish (Mike Cameron will attest to that) and is putting some nice at bats together as well. Russ Ortiz is starting to put together some solid innings in relief also. Which brings us to the game.

Roach #2 scored on a 1 out Jaramillo double in the top of the 2nd. Paulino got the next guy out with his 4th K of the game but then left with a strained groin (currently listed as day-to-to). Ortiz came on in relief, and proceeded to throw 4.1 scoreless innings giving the Pirates 1 run through 6. The Good guys, however, faired much better against Pirates starter Snell. Blum scored on a 2-out single by Keppinger in the 2nd, Kepp scored on a 1 out double by Q in the 5th and Pence scored on a single by Carlos in the 6th putting the Good Guys up 3-1.

Then things got a bit dicey (for the first time). Byrdak came in for Ortiz in the top of the 7th and proceeded to load up the bases with none out. Fulchino came in and allowed 2 runs to score (rbi groundout, single) tying the game, but with the bases loaded got Roach #1 to ground into a 3-2-3 DP to end the inning. Kata scored on a Miggy single in the bottom of the inning to put the ‘Stros up 4-3

Sampson threw a scoreless 8th and the Astros added some insurance in the form of a 2-strike 2-out opposite field single by Q (scoring Erstad) a ground rule double by Michaels scoring Berkman. End 8: PIT 3, HOU 6.

Things got dicey (again) in the 9th, but Hawkins was able to close it down (after giving up a run) with the tying run at the plate.

BALLGAME: HOU 6, PIT 4.

Up next:

Moehler takes the hill against Lilly and the FTCs. Read all about it from MRaup here.

boys bested by the beast

Posted on June 7, 2009 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Contributed by BatGirl
Pirates 6, Astros 4

Box Score
GameZone

This one isn’t on the Astros.
Not Cooper.
Not Oswalt.
Not Drayton
The circumstances were bigger than ALL of them.
Go with me here.

So what happened?
They had a game set on 6-6
with a 6 o’clock start
End of story.

No way (you say). That’s nonsense (you insist). The numbers 666 mean nothing.
I would say to you, pish posh.
And poppycock!

The opposing team scored 6.
Oswalt’s era reached 4.66 after 6 innings pitched and 6 earned runs on 9 hits in front of a crowd of 26,099

The ultimate hard six.
I’m no alphanumericystologist. Sudoku = no. Soup-doku = yes! But add it all up, and that’s like a crapload of sixes (with a couple of upside down 6’s trying to masquerade as 9’s).

Of course breaking a mirror isn’t good. There should be no umbrellas allowed in the house. Walking under a ladder? Now you’re just asking for it. sSill some salt? Right hand, pinch, throw over left shoulder. Done.

So what is it exactly about multiples of six? What can be so bad about a particular numeric sequence? How do we know that the origins are, in fact, evil?

Without getting into a debate over all of the historical/religious over/undertones, take a second and look up zip code 60606
’nuff said

Has anyone actually checked his forehead? right hand? just sayin’.
Roy admitted to having what sounds like an out of body experience during part of the game, and said it was, “the most out of place that he had ever felt on the mound”. He added that when he was out there during the second and third innings, he “couldn’t throw the fastball where he wanted,” and he was scared to throw a breaking ball.

As Oswalt’s command became virtually nonexistent for two innings (after needing only 9 pitches to retire the side at the start of the game) the Pirates had Roy’s number, and took advantage of every mistake he made, scoring all 6 of their runs in the second and third innings.

Roy finally got rid of his demons in the fourth and managed to retire 10 of the next 11. But despite logging 10 hits and threatening to come from behind in both the eight and ninth innings, the Astros were unable to get themselves back in the game offensively, and they went 1-7 with risp.

Miguel Tejada, who sat out Friday’s game as his first ‘off-day’ of the season, went 3-5, and Hunter Pence is now hitting .347 and went 2-4, with a hr and a triple.

The series is now even at one game a piece.
Final game Sunday at 1:05.

Who’s coming with me?
Let’s give the hometown 9 a pass this time.
We’ll just 86 this game and any mention of it.
Gget ready for the next 118.
Play them 1 day at a time.

and FUCK the team that’s coming on 6/9.

Glass Half Full

Posted on June 6, 2009 by GreatBagwellsBeard in Game Recaps

Box Score

Tag’s recap

When the Astros win like this, it’s hard not to get excited about the team. The starting pitching was cask-aged Mike Hampton, 1998 vintage, the offense was potent with a broad range of contributors, and even the game management was solid, saving us from another hilariously profane meltdown by Mr. Zipp. Everything was perfect. Too perfect.

You see, I’m still having trouble figuring this team out. The whole “just when you count them out, they rebound” thing has become so predictable that it’s starting to feel like an episode of Two and a Half Men (oh, Charlie, you insufferable cad! When will you learn?) Some days, it feels like all the team needs is another piece to make the puzzle complete, and on others, you pray for flesh eating bacteria to devour the entire bullpen and coaching staff (except Clark, of course). Inevitably, I get sucked back in to the optimist’s view. Where’s Jake Peavy’s agent’s number, anyway?

Friday’s game saw Hampton making the Pyroots his bitch (again), throwing seven strong innings that looked like a more wily version of the old bulldog we knew and loved before the Intervening Unpleasantness. Even Fulchino got in on the act, providing two solid innings, saving the marquee (-ish) arms of the bullpen to fight another day. On the other side, Jeff Karsten’s day started pretty well, until his irrestistable suckiness met the immovable object (Q, who took advantage of a rare start to rope an even more rare triple, plating two runs in the sixth). After that, all hell broke loose, with eleven batter in the inning, capped by El Kabong’s grand slam off newly arrived reliever Evan Meek (who will inherit only a trip back to AAA instead of the earth).

When the dust settled, the eleven hitters had scored 7 runs, giving Hampton the foundation for his fourth win of the season, bringing his record to an even 4-4. Fulchino didn’t earn a hold, because that’s a bullshit stat, which even Bill James will tell you.

The Mud and Blood have two more games ahead against the Bucs, one of which is already underway, because I’m a lazy ass and I blacked out last night after reading OregonStrosFan’s brutal Carradine joke in the Game Zone last night. Turns out fits of laughter are another, more productive way to pass out by yourself.

Series Preview by Craig

Talk it up in the regularly scheduled Game Zone (already in progress)

astros, david carradine, mike hampton, pirates, win

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Posted on June 5, 2009 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Rockies 10, Astros 3

W: Hammels, L: Rodriguez

Astros Recap and Box Score
Yahoo Recap

Game highlights of the Astros.
Russ Ortiz pitched 2 scoreless innings.
Edwin Maysonet went 2 for 4, with 1 rbi and 1 run scored.

Game Highlights of the Rockies.
Please see the Boxscore.

This team has gone 5 for 5 out for the last 10 games, I still feel this way. I don’t know what is missing, but looking up at the Pirates hurts, but not as much as the team ahead of them in the standings. I think the Astros will win the series against the Pirates just to give some of us a little itty bit of confidence that they can beat the Cubs. Then they won’t.

Bench Tidbits

Geoff Blum does not know where he’d go if he could travel back in time.

Congratulations to my niece for graduating form high school. Her plan is to attend SFA. Good Luck Jessica.

Check out Craig’s Series Preview for the weekend visiting Pirates.

The GameZone has some in-game reactions.

And a special thank you to JackAstro and gleach for making me smile with the JimR avatar.

Have a great weekend.

Big night in the Hunter’s Lodge

Posted on June 4, 2009 by JackAstro in Game Recaps

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Astros 6
Rukkakes 4

W: Byrdak (1-1) | L: Marquis (7-4) | S: Sampson (3)
HR: Pence (6), Stewart (8)

MLB.com Recap
MLB.com Video Recap
AP! Recap! On Yahoo!
GameZone

The Good Guys rallied late last night pulling out a solid 6-4 victory, their fifth in the last six after that fugly six game losing jag. Houston jumped on top in the first, plating three on a series of five singles and a ground out.

The game cruised smoothly along after that until the fifth, when Moehler got himself in a bit of trouble. After singles by Hawpe and Smith, Ian Stewart stepped in with one out and absolutely crushed a meatball into the right field upper tank, knotting the game at 3-3.

In the bottom half of the frame, Gunther lead off with a shot off the wall in left center that was thisclose to getting out. He settled instead for an easy stand-up triple, and the lead looked assured with Flapjack stepping in for his customary automatic sac fly. Instead, he grounded it back up the middle, and Marquis knocked it down with his pitching hand (perhaps not a great idea), held the runner, and got the out. Twinkie was pitched around and intentionally walked after he didn’t bite, and Pudge obliged the Rockies with the courtesy GIDP they were looking for. Cue sad trombone.

In the sixth, Fowler lead off with a double, and Barmes reached on a bunt single towards the third base side that no one bothered to field, as Moehler instead shuffled around the infield like a senile geriatric at Luby’s. Key lime pie or banana custard? TOO MANY OPTIONS! Helton’s facemuff powered a sac fly to left that El Kabong should have flipped back into the infield, but he tried instead to throw it to gleach, allowing Barmes to take second while Fowler jogged home. The ‘Stros put Hawpe on intentionally, but everyone moved up on a wild pitch, as a third wheel came off, and sparks streamed from the rims. Then just like that, everything came back together. Atkins grounded to third, and Blum went home with it, with Pudge tagging Barmes out as he tried to scramble back to third. Smith flew out to left, and the side was retired, amazingly with only a one-run lead to show for all that calamity.

Byrdak set Colorado down in order in the seventh, and Thunderpants tied it back up with a blast over the tracks leading off the bottom half. The Caballo and Fat Elvis followed with singles, and Pudge battled through an AB that ended with a liner right to 3B. Blum came up one down, runners first and second, and grounded into what looked to be a double play. However Peralta is not a 1B, and he was all flailing limbs and fail when trying to dig the return throw, which got past him and caromed off of Blum, getting too far away for anyone to throw out Flapjack’s fat ass at home. The Good Guys took a 5-4 lead, doing it with style and grace.

Sampson got through the eighth with a double and IBB, and Bourn got something going in the ‘Stros half with a one-out single up the middle. After swiping second on a Tejada ponche, he took third on a passed ball. Pence plated Bourn with a two-out single, his fourth hit and third RBI on the night. I’m not sure which of the 2,000 people attending were in the Hunter’s Lodge, but I’m sure they were just tickled about the whole thing. Sampson took the insurance run into the ninth, and closed it out with a little traffic but no scoring. This apparently marked the first two-inning save in something like four years, which seems like a typo. Nice job, regardless. The Good Guys go for the four-game sweep tonight, with Home Wandy taking the hill v. Jason Hammel. Go get ’em.

Glorious comebacks

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