Astros 1, Cubs 0

W: Lyles (4-11)
L: Germano (2-7)

Box

Contributed by Reuben

Now we know why the Astros have been winning so (relatively) much lately. Interim Manager Tony DeFrancesco has begun giving out pairs of headphones to his chosen player of the game after a win. Not just any pair of Coby or even Sony – we’re talkin’ a $200 pair of headphones. Evidently he was so pleased after last night’s 1-0 victory that he gave out “$1000 worth” – Maxwell, Wright, Cedeno, Valdez, and Lopez each got a pair. What, no pair for Jordan Lyles, who threw 5 shutout innings and worked around some crappy defense? Perhaps Jimmy Paredes (3 errors) was forced to give Lyles his own pair, or maybe even a whole iPod.

Really, this game was just a whole series of gifts – the ones Paredes and Greene (surprise, surprise) tried to give the Cubs by kicking the ball around, but the Cubs didn’t seem to want, and the ones the Cubs gave the Astros. In the 3rd, a throwing error by the catcher allowed F-Mart to reach 1st, and Paredes to go all the way to 3rd, from whence he would score on a Maxwell sac fly.

In the 6th, DeFrancesco tried to give the Cubs a gift, by letting Xavier Cedeno face two righty batters, Castro and Sappelt. He gave up a single and a double to them, leaving Mickey Storey a 1-out mess to clean up. Storey gave up a fly ball to center that seemed certain to drive in the tying run, but alas, the Cubs had another gift, this one a joint present from Sappelt, who stupidly decided to try to advance to 3rd, and Starlin, who jogged the last ten feet to home, allowing Dominguez to make the tag at 3rd before he crossed the plate. Perhaps it is foolish to gloat about moments like these when the Astros are the undisputed worst team in baseball, but it was a very Cub moment.

I didn’t watch too closely, the last few innings – I was listening to the Valleycats’ playoff game, which was pretty exciting (they won, a 5-4 walk-off). I know Jose Valdez pitched the 8th, struck out a couple guys, then had some Valverde-esque gesticulations as he walked off the mound. Wilton gave up a couple singles in the 9th but ultimately shut the door, preserving the unlikely 1-0 win.

Now, what I don’t understand is, what are some of these guys going to do if they get 3 or 4 pairs of $200 headphones? Can they trade in 2 for a BB gun?

Astros 5, Reds 1

W: Gonzalez (2-0)
L: Cueto (17-8)

I like kicking the Reds in the teeth.

Sure, they can’t feel it, they’re on their way to the division championship, but this season you take what you can get. In this case, it’s the first road series win since June and today’s came against a Cy Young contender who probably won’t win that award now.

This one marks the end of another rivalry, another NL team the Astros won’t play again as a league foe. I’ll miss the NL, but I’m not going to miss the Reds. When I was a kid I didn’t care about them at all – they were a team with no players I gave a damn about.

I remember reading the back of Frank Robinson’s 1967 card, with the little cartoon about his MVP season, and wondering why the Reds traded him but being happy that he’d had such a great season after leaving such a dimwitted franchise. None of these guys could get me interested. Jim Maloney? Leo Cardenas? Tommy Helms? Lee May? Gary Nolan? I couldn’t care less.

I liked Vada Pinson, but it’s not like I was some big fan, he just seemed to be a good player and had a good card. Tony Perez? Eh. I couldn’t stand Johnny Bench, what with everybody talking about how great he was. Big fucking deal, I liked Bill Freehan, dammit.

And I fucking hated Pete Rose. Hated.

I don’t remember ever seeing the Reds play in the Dome, but I remember going to see them play the Phillies just so I could boo the hell out of Pete Rose. Fuck him, along with that shitty excuse for chili.

1981, baby. Now, that was a year. Best record in the entire league, by three whole games, but you know what? That earned the Reds a seat at home in front of the TV, watching the Astros battle Fernandomania in five games. Suck it, Reds.

Cueto came into this one throwing right at the Astros, challenging them to hit his stuff while bringing it right over the plate. Well, three singles and a sac fly to the first four batters gave Houston the lead. Cueto continued throwing over the plate even though everyone knows the Astros will chase like Pepe LePew after a striped cat. Cueto didn’t care, he was so impressed with his unhittable stuff that he got chased after giving up a three-run burrito to Matt Dominguez, who is showing a power stroke Billy Squier would envy.

Meanwhile, the enigma of Edgar Gonzalez continued stoking the smoulder that is threatening to become Edgarmania. Five innings, only two hits, one walk and one run given up while fanning six, Gonzalez was in smoke-and-mirrors control the whole way, throwing that Mexican League menudo past the division leaders’ bats.

Pulled after five because of a blister on his toe (“I’m Mexican. I can try,” he pled), Wright, Storey and Lopez threw the last four while allowing three hits and striking out eight. Greene added a solo shot in the sixth and despite the pervasive Fear every time the Houston bullpen is involved, this one was all over.

Like I said, miss the league, won’t miss the Reds.

Reds 5, Astros 1
By Mr. Happy

One night after the Dominguez ninth inning heroics against Aroldis Chapman, which our own NeilT chronicled so musically in the game recap, the pumpkin returned as the Astros dropped a 5-1 snoozer to the Dickities against Bronson Arroyo, who improved his record to 12-7. The Astros opened the ball game by scoring their lone run, courtesy of a two out single by Justin Maxwell. Unfortunately for the Astros, the Dickities scored all the runs that they would need tonight with two solo home runs off of tonight’s loser, David Stefan “Bud” Norris, who hasn’t won since May. Bud’s road record drops to a grotesque 2-11 7.34, which, when compared to his 3-1 1.90 home record, makes no sense whatsoever.

What else is on Mr. Happy’s mind, you ask? Thanks for asking. I’m lonesome for my wife up here in Missoula and missing my DirecTV (and television in general since I’m without one presently), but the job is going great, so I have no complaints. I haven’t had much time for SnS during the day and haven’t been on Facebook in awhile either. Things change a lot when you become employed. Maybe one day I’ll have more time or at least the guts to log in while I’m at work. Not right now, though.

Astros 5
Reds 3

By NeilT

9th inning 3-run homer by Dominguez. Lopez closes.

Do you know the song “Passionate Kisses,” Lucinda Williams? A hard woman, seems to me, like from time to time it’s been much harder than someone with passion and intelligence and talent should have to expect. I’d be nervous if I didn’t recognize her and we were sat next to each other on a plane. But it is such a magnificent song, like so many of her songs:

Is it too much to ask . . .

Well, yeah. Sometimes almost anything is too much to ask.  This season almost anything is too much to ask.

I want a warm bed that won’t hurt my back.

You think about how hard it is for even those of us with the most charmed lives. Think of what the best things should be, children, sex, spouses, work, God, democracy, beer, paychecks . . . and how hard from moment to moment or duration to duration those things can be.  We’ve shared them, here, in this small corner of the universe, for a long damn time. Even among the luckiest among us those joys disappoint, frustrate, rub raw and leave us flat and unhappy and breathless, from time to time or duration to duration. And among us, this few, this brave few, you have to throw in baseball, and baseball means the Astros.

Is it too much to ask I want a comfortable bed
That won’t hurt my back
Food to fill me up
And warm clothes and all that stuff

And passionate kisses. From time to time passionate kisses. For once, tonight, we got what was too much to ask.

WP: Correia (10-8)
LP: Abad (0-3)

by Sphinx Drummond

The Astros got off to another bad start falling behind early. By eventually losing 6-3 the Astros’ won/loss record dropped to 42-95 and they now stand in at 53 games under .500. For the unwashed, that’s a real shitty won/loss record. Even if you throw out either of the Pirates best innings scoring-wise, the Astros would still lose 4-3.

Abad got the start for the good guys, he’s now 0-3 as a starter, still looking for that elusive first win. Hard to believe he’s lost only three.

The Astros interim manager remarked, ”I thought Abad could give us a chance but unfortunately we got down again early. It’s getting frustrating for us.”

There’s not much about the season that isn’t frustrating, for the players, coaches, or the fans. At least the players and coaches are getting paid. It seems wrong for a MLB team to be this lousy and still charge more than half price for people to see them. How it came to this is such a slap to the loyal fans who have followed this team for so long. But here they are.

I can’t even be happy for all the shitty players that otherwise wouldn’t have gotten a chance to play a big league game.

Now the NFL and College Football have started, there is even less interest in watching this shitty version of the Astros. That’s what happens when you’re shitty. People lose interest. Instead of names like Biggio, Bagwell, Cruz and Ryan, this team has Abad, Rodriguez, Bogey and Schafer. No wonder the home gate is so bad. People want to go to games to escape the beat down of everyday life not see it mirrored on the field. That’s not entertainment unless you’re a masochist.

Talent and name recognition are two of the most important factors in the entertainment business. Think about if the Beatles didn’t end up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo but instead had no talent bums like Doug, Wes, Steve, and Marty, they would have been shitty and nobody would have gone to their concerts or bought their records.