Jakes 8, Astros 1

WP – Wainwright
LP – Happ

Oh, man. Now that was a party. That was a real good time. I gotta remember this one, gotta make the next one better, a little better every time.

Damn. If I’m gonna hack I should at least find something to drink… Pall Malls? Shit, these aren’t mine. Empty anyway. Camels? What the hell…where are my Luckies? Christ, my head hurts. Where the hell is the booze, I know we didn’t drink every-

“Hey. Hey! You know it’s morning, right? Let’s go, this ain’t no hotel. Come on, get your…you got your keys? Ok. Yeah, see you later. Yeah, great party. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.”

Who the hell else is still in here? Jesus. People, I swear. They get a little drunk, get a little happy in a crowd, next thing you know they think you’re their best friend or something. Last thing I need is something personal.

“No, I haven’t seen…who? No. No, nobody else is here. She’s gone, all right? Gone like you need to be gone. Hey! I gotta clean this shit up. I don’t mean to be rude but the party’s over, ok? Yeah, yeah, I know, great time. Glad you were here. Front door is that way. That way.”

Ah, that stings. No ice, the sun is bright. God, the house stinks like some kind of wet ash tray. Can’t find a broom anywhere…

———-

Yeah, that didn’t end well. A nice little run of wins can’t go on forever, and this one was a pretty typical loss, a lot like the one those red bastards had pinned on them yesterday.

Happ didn’t have squat today, and that nibbling around the plate style doesn’t work well against the Jakes, they’ll take on you until you are challenged and today, well, Happ wasn’t up to that. With two outs, he walked Holliday in the first and then Allen Craig showed that he knows how to hit one out. Tyler Greene announced his presence with the authority of two home runs en route to 3 for 3 day.

That was all it took to snap this little party. Wainwright dominated the Astro bats, scattering seven hits and handcuffing everyone in a Houston uni. He was sharp and in command all the way through his seven innings.

EDR, Abad and Lyon mopped up the mess. EDR was touched for a run and Abad gave up his customary homer on his way back to OKC.

Hopefully the excitement of the win streak won’t wear off, and the home nine can continue to build on their recent performances. The schizophrenic Marlins flop into town tomorrow and you can enjoy yourself in the Game Zone, if you dare.

Reds 6, Astros 5

W: Ondrusek
L: F. Rodriguez

Jordan Lyles returned to the bigs Sunday, at least for one game. This was a fairly important one to the Astros, since it represented not only a chance to even the road trip, to take a series from Cincinnati at home for the first time in years, and also to see just how well young Lyles would perform against a tough hitting club.

Lyles pitched six strong innings. He had good command and worked the corners and down in the zone well except for the fourth inning, when he gave up a double to Cozart and a bomb to Votto on two mistake pitches. Other than that he was terrific, even dropping down a suicide squeeze to score CJ in the third.

Offensively, the team had some bright spots. Altuve had three hits, Lowrie and CJ two each, with homers for Lowrie and Downs. They only worked one walk off of Latos, but they got ten hits off of him and never looked bad at the plate.

The wheels fell off of this one in the seventh. Lopez came in and gave up two quick hits, then Carpenter was brought in and he got two outs before Mills decided to throw the book out the window. Sure, there’s not much in the way of lefthanded relivers on this squad and yes, it would’ve meant putting the tying run on second and the lead run on if Votto was walked, but Votto had been spoiling pitches the entire series and hitting what he wanted to. Carpenter came in with a slider, in and down and Votto slapped it into right to tie the game. Walking Votto would’ve preserved the righty-righty matchup against Phillips, who was 0 for 4 today and looked overmatched.

In the eighth, FeRod’s first pitch was grooved right down the middle of the plate for the go-ahead run by Bruce. No lengthy parables tonight, no weird storytime that dares you to connect the dots for some Greater Truth. Questionable decisions by Mills and a mistake pitch by FeRod are what this one boils down to, and if Mills doesn’t get his head right he’ll never take this team to the next level. I don’t know what the hell is going on in that dugout, but we’ve seen this sort of tactical strangeness too many times and on a team with zero margin for error, it’s even more costly.

Giggle along with us in the GameZone. Tomorrow it’s the hated steM, and Surfer Bud looks to find the cool breeze.

Houston 12, Hollywood Nancy Boys Nada

WP – Wandy
LP – June Cleaver’s Brother

Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle – who ARE these guys? Kicking it around and waving feebly the rest of the week, but on getaway day these new Astros are deadly. Don’t pack those bags early or you’ll get caught napping at the station, pal.

To be fair, these Astros who have had silent bats for the most of the last week, were facing some of the best pitching in The World, so it can be excused that they didn’t hit much. This 2012 model is doing a lot better at staying close, being in the game, and even though their margin for error is smaller than what they normally can deal with this team does appear to be making progress from 2011.

Kicking those godless bastards from Angeleno out of Texas was a fine way to spend a Sunday. The rivalry – that’s what a real rivalry was like – has waned since moving from the NL West but those bastards can never be forgiven for the past.

Is this the best damn 6-10 team in America? They’re even ahead of a few teams, and it has been a long time since we’ve been able to say that.

Fuck the Cubs.

Wandy was dominant today, only allowing three hits and three walks while striking out six in his seven innings. A laugher since going up 9-0 in the 4th, the relief crew of FeRod and Lyon closed out the already-surrendered visitors and Houston had it’s highest output of runs on the season and the largest margin of victory in almost five years.

Schafer had the big blow, a grand slam he golfed out in the second off of a wild and befuddled Billingsley, who was torched for nine overall in 3.1 innings of work.

Carlos drove in two, CJ had a pair of hits and Castro the Astro added a triple and single. All in all, a fine effort and a nice way to end a very tough week. Tomorrow they travel to the Malebolge to confront the thieves of fraudulence, malice and hypocrisy in their pit of despair. Read Dark Star’s fine preview and prepare yourself, then go to the Game Zone to giggle at the lamentations.

Marlins 5, Astros 4 (11)
WP: Gaudin
LP: Carpenter

I know it’s early, I know, and early or not these games count. It’s tough to lose one when you’ve battled back to take a lead late, but as frustrating as this is, the 2012 Astros are a lot more interesting to watch than the 2011 vintage was.

Blue skies above
and sun on your arms
strength in your stride
And hope in those squeaky clean eyes

Maybe this is a mirage; maybe it’ll all come crashing down to sub-mediocrity soon and casual fans will drift away to other things. Perhaps. I want to view this as something else though, as real growth for a team that was so shitty last year that getting close to the pack of all the other teams feels like progress.

They battled hard the whole series and had numerous chances to win every game. Miami isn’t going to win any championships this year, but they’re decent and the Astros were right there with them the whole way, taking it to them when last year’s club would’ve folded the tent early.

Happ pitched well, going six innings while scattering five hits and giving up two runs. Martinez had two doubles, Bogusevic finally got a couple of hits, as did CJ and The Altuve, who drove in a pair.

The word is that the hunted one is out there on his own
You’re alone for maybe the last time
And you breathe for a long time
Then you howl like a wolf in a trap
And you daren’t look behind

The 4-2 Good Guy lead was erased in the eighth, when Wright, who was brought in to turn Bonifacio around, walked him instead. The mighty blast off of Ramirez’ bat to deepest center field tied it up. In the 11th, Carpenter gave up a single to Buck. After a sac bunt Reyes was walked and a wild pitch moved both runners into scoring position with one out. Bonifacio was walked to load them up, and Ramirez hit the game-winner past the drawn-in outfielders in right.

The yang of today’s performance was a mixture of coltish stumbling and rolls of the dice. A missed called strike three that led to a run and some undeniable hitting by the Marlins combined with a brutal 0 for 9 with runners in scoring position and some weak defense from barely-not-a-rookie Castro, who is not having the early season he’d like to have. I still think they’re going to grow out of most of this and I’m looking forward to watching that. Looking forward to watching them learn how to fight once they’re in the pack, and not trying to catch up to it.

You fall to the ground
like a leaf from a tree
And look up one time
at that vast blue sky
Scream out aloud as they shoot you down

We’re midwives to history. Put on your bloody robes.