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  • Get the Hell Out of Texas, You Scum

Get the Hell Out of Texas, You Scum

Posted on April 22, 2012 by Ron Brand in Featured, Game Recaps

Houston 12, Hollywood Nancy Boys Nada

WP – Wandy
LP – June Cleaver’s Brother

Hokey smokes, Bullwinkle – who ARE these guys? Kicking it around and waving feebly the rest of the week, but on getaway day these new Astros are deadly. Don’t pack those bags early or you’ll get caught napping at the station, pal.

To be fair, these Astros who have had silent bats for the most of the last week, were facing some of the best pitching in The World, so it can be excused that they didn’t hit much. This 2012 model is doing a lot better at staying close, being in the game, and even though their margin for error is smaller than what they normally can deal with this team does appear to be making progress from 2011.

Kicking those godless bastards from Angeleno out of Texas was a fine way to spend a Sunday. The rivalry – that’s what a real rivalry was like – has waned since moving from the NL West but those bastards can never be forgiven for the past.

Is this the best damn 6-10 team in America? They’re even ahead of a few teams, and it has been a long time since we’ve been able to say that.

Fuck the Cubs.

Wandy was dominant today, only allowing three hits and three walks while striking out six in his seven innings. A laugher since going up 9-0 in the 4th, the relief crew of FeRod and Lyon closed out the already-surrendered visitors and Houston had it’s highest output of runs on the season and the largest margin of victory in almost five years.

Schafer had the big blow, a grand slam he golfed out in the second off of a wild and befuddled Billingsley, who was torched for nine overall in 3.1 innings of work.

Carlos drove in two, CJ had a pair of hits and Castro the Astro added a triple and single. All in all, a fine effort and a nice way to end a very tough week. Tomorrow they travel to the Malebolge to confront the thieves of fraudulence, malice and hypocrisy in their pit of despair. Read Dark Star’s fine preview and prepare yourself, then go to the Game Zone to giggle at the lamentations.

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