Cardinals at Astros, 7/20/2009
That’s 2 small runs for the Jakes… 3 giant runs for Astro-kind.
W: Moehler (7-5), L:Lohse (4-6), S: Valverde (10)
HR: Kabong (14)

Tag’s recap
Box

7 members of the Apollo program threw out the first pitch tonight, in what Mr. McLane intended to be an homage to the Mercury 7 throwing out the first pitch at the Astrodome. Fortunately, no over-the-hill burlesque dancers were involved.

All scoring came in the fourth, with a Squatting Molina continuing the trend of all-glove catchers hurting the Good Guys offensively, on a 2-run single. Fortunately, Caballo decided to teach the fanshow to say “moon shot” in several different languages, knocking one over the tracks with Tejada and Berkman aboard.

The remainder of the game featured strong pitching by Moehler, sharp commentary by JD, Berkman intentionally not covering 1b to discourage PENCE!!! from an unwise 9-3 attempt on a Pooholes single, both catchers throwing out runners at 2b on wild pitches and Coop saluting the Tanked Commander by using 5 pitchers is a 3-2 win. Wright and Fulchino combined for 4 pitches, so they’ll need some extra rest.

Check-out the in-game etymology for “mustache” in the GZ. If that leaves you inspired, find more soup strainer action here.

Astros at Rangers,
6/17/09
Rangers 5, Astros 4
W: Wilson (4-3),
L: Fulchino (2-2)
HR: (takes deep breath…) Lee, Pence, Cruz, and Saltalamacchia
Box Score
McTaggart’s recap

The Houston Astros decided to play Little League baseball in a Little League park last night. I don’t say this too, often, but I agree with Coop:

“Just no offensive execution when we needed it,” Cooper said. “That’s really unacceptable. We’ve been playing pretty good baseball, but that’s unacceptable. We kicked the ball around and threw it around, and that’s unacceptable. I don’t care how well we’ve been playing. That game is not a game we should be playing like that.

What went wrong?

• Jason Michaels – I signing I really liked, but who has had just a miserable season – lost a ball in the sun in the first for a pop-fly double to Kinsler;
• Pudge then threw the ball away as Kinsler stole third, allowing the tying run;
• Miggy was able to ground into 2 DP’s, one because he slipped getting out of the box;
• The Rangers took the lead on an Omar Vizquel single, another E2 and a nice hustle play by Vizquel to make third, and a sac fly;
• Michaels looking nothing like a MLB hitter when fanning on 3 pitches with 2nd and 3rd and one out;
• Bourn failing to bunt a leadoff runner over in the 9th, then being gunned down on an absolutely perfect throw by Saltalamacchia;
• Keppinger’s ole bullshit leading off the bottom of the 10th, leading to the winning run;
• Michaels and Bourn nearly colliding on a routine pop up barely past the SS with the OF and IF pulled in in the 10th.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

Well, Bourn continues to look like a leadoff man, manufacturing the first run all by his lonesome. The Astros are apparently done Searching for Bobby Fischer, and he loves hitting in Arlington. But then again, who doesn’t? Ortiz, regardless of the 4 R allowed, actually pitched very well and deserved a better fate. And yes, congratulations to Pudge for squatting more often than any other player, ever. Also, congrats to Vizquel, who set the record for hits by a Venezuelan player, passing the great Luis Aparicio.

Other observations:

• Whatever name it goes by, that stadium is a joke. All 4 home runs were of the “get it up into the jet stream, let it just clear the fence” variety.
• Fox decided to swap PBP guys for an inning. I think Lewin tried to show how much he had researched the Astros, talking up David Murphy and Matt Purke as local boys (and correctly placing Klein High in Spring, no less) and comparing Nelson Cruz to Richard Hidalgo, but honestly, my ears were bleeding too much to make sense of it.
• Kabong is hurtin’ for certain. He took approximately 2 hours to round the bases on his HR, and was noticeably limping.
• The Rangers somehow make red, white, and blue look hideous. I have neer before seen this accomplished. Exhibit A: the blue catcher’s gear against the red unis.

Rangers get the sweep, again, as Brandon Backe “pitches” for the Astros in the closer.

Rockies at Astros, 6/1/2009
Astros 4, Rukakkes 1
W: Oswalt (2-2) L: Cook (3-3) S: Hawkins (7)
HR: Untradeable Rockies first baseman (7), Untradeable Astros left fielder (9)

McTaggart with the writeup
Box

How did this game look to you?

So… do you believe that a win is a win, and when you’re 21-28, you take any win you can get?
Or do you believe that you should still be frustrated by the many minor failures on display during such a win?

Case in point… first inning. Do you say:
a) “The Astros took a first inning lead when Lance Berkman, in an intriguing lineup change by Cecil Cooper, drove in Hunter Pence with a clutch two-out single.”
or:
b) “The Astros squandered a larger first-inning opportunity and only managed one run. Michael Bourn, after a leadoff single, failed to advance to second on a passed ball that bounced all the way to the on-deck circle, and then was thrown out stealing by a catcher that was 0-21 on the season throwing out runners. Pence, Lee, and Berkman then scraped together a run, but Lee ened the inning prematurely by running into a ludicrous third out at third base, where he was out by a good 15 feet.”

Alternatively, we could look at Oswalt:
a) Hey! Our Ace finally gives us seven innings.
or
b) you know, i’ve given the oswalt being pulled after 7 innings more thought… i disagree with the move even more. he was pitching well, and the rockies aren’t a good team. this is one game he could have gone longer and gotten a chance at a complete game.

Or, take Bourn’s seventh inning at bat. Do you say:
a) “Holy mother of God, that hurt!!!”
or
b) Trick question… there is no other appropriate response to a foul ball bouncing straight back up into a man’s testicles.

What I’m saying is, it’s a long season. Choose how you’re going to respond to this team, and this game. Or… order a cheeseburger.

I can haz cheezburgr?

Astros at Reds, Memorial Day 2009
Reds 8, Astros 5
W: Harang (5-4), L: Wandy (5-3), S: Cordero (12)

Box score
Footer still on the job

It is axiomatic that good teams find ways to win games, and bad teams find ways to lose games.

It is clear into which category the 2009 Houston Astros fall.

8, yes, 8, unearned runs led to an 8-5 loss to begin the Astros’ road trip. Losing the first game of a road series is nothing unusual, but the manner in which the Astros accomplished this was the real story. Despite a 2-run cushion courtesy of Berkman’s typical GABP HR, the “Good Guys” went out to give it back, and then some. Miggy led things off by booting a routine grounder from Taveras, and the floodgates opened, figuratively and literally. Wandy had absolutely no command of his curveball, and after getting to 2 outs with 2 runs, Eny was unable to record that elusive third out, including an RBI single from Harang.

From there, the only question was when CB Bucknor would decide to call the rain delay. Strangely, he allowed things to proceed to 2 out in the 5th with one pitch already thrown to Pence. I suppose it’s not completely unheard of for an umpire to call the delay one out short of making the game official, but I can’t recall seeing it before. Even more unusual was Dusty Baker’s decision to risk his starter by bringing him back out for all of two batters after a two hour rain delay. (What am I saying? It’s Dusty Baker, a man with no regard for his starters’ arms.)

I’ll spare you the other sordid details of Q throwing a ball into the photo booth while trying to pick Hairston off of first, or Miggy forgetting to touch the bag on a DP. Rather, let’s leave this where we started: bad teams find ways to lose games.

“Ace” Roy Oswalt tries tonight to stop the losing streak that started with the lineup fiasco.