OK, so they haven’t exactly set the Central alight, but the Astros are creeping back into things. There’s one game left in Cincy as I type – a favorable pitching match-up for the Juicers – and Astros sit 6.5 games out of 2nd place with a chance to shrink that down to 5.5 tonight. With Roy on the mound and Berkman swinging for the fences, you have to fancy the Astros’ chances tonight. And did you know that Blud ‘n’ Mudders are 5-0 in their last five 1-run games?

However, after that it’s off to Pittsburgh, where things might get a little rougher. You see, the Astros have a sparkling rotation set for the wrap-around in PNC: Redding; Munro; Cruz and Miller. Yikes! Mlicki is due back at some point, but Hernandez may need surgery (MRI today or tomorrow) and Shane is definitely done for the year. The Astros are probably going to have a hole in their rotation for the rest of the season. Now that they’ve abandoned the B-Movie experiment of “The Sarloos Project” and beamed Kirk back down to the minors, the Astros will need Hernandez back and healthy, or Munro to be what no one’s ever expected him to be. That’s a tall order.Read More

Despite last night’s impressive win, the Astros continue to be the Co-Ardinals doormat. Actually, they’re the doormat of just about anyone not called Pittsburgh. Despite all of Jimy’s machinations, and God knows he’s been machinating, the offense can score runs in bunches only once or twice a week and goes horribly barren for the remainder.

This latest series was just more of the same. Despite outscoring the Co-Ards 14-13 over the three games, the Astros come out 1-2 losers. They have hammered out 233 runs so far, 4 less than the Red Birds while allowing a mere 217, 2 better than the Red Birds. Yet we’re staring up a Co-Shit Pipe to the tune of 7.5 games. Stick that in your Pythagorean theory and smoike it!

I don’t think I’m doing anything other than stating the bleedin’ obvious here when I say it’s the offense that’s at fault. What’s maddening, though, is that Jimy has no bullets to fire. Biggio may be clawing his way back to respectability and Ward may sport a flattering BA, but the truth of the situation is that only Lugo is doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. And that, dear reader, is a recipe for disaster; bigger than taking fruit steeped in Everclear to the Miller Outdoor Theater. Trust me on this one.Read More

The Astros and Co-ards are right there at the top of the NL batting table. The Astros lead the league in average and are second in slugging (to Arizona who’ve pounded an amazing 40 homers already) and only the freakish Montreal tops them in OBP. However, once you look past the two fancied Central division power-houses, you have to go a long way down the list to find the next NL Central club.

All the way to the bottom, actually.

Cincy (.238 Team BA), Chicago (.235), Milwaukee (.234) and Pittsburgh (.232) occupy the last 4 places on the hitting table. Chicago, presumably thanks to Skippin’ Sammy, shows some life in the slugging category, but otherwise it’s lights out for these clubs – in the bad sense of the phrase.

So how come the Astros and Co-ards aren’t running away with this thing?Read More

As I sit down to write, the Astros have just completed a piss-poor week. The 2-4 record on the road doesn’t really do justice to the frustration this trip has induced thus far. It started off well, with Biggio hitting for the cycle behind an effective Oswalt in the Astro-Graveyard one mile in the sky. Although things have gone better for this club in recent years in Coors, coming away with a split is nothing to be sniffed at.

However, the manner of the defeats in games #2 and #3 caused concern. Reynolds served up a 2-on meatball to scrub catcher Burnett, and blew a winnable game. Much mileage was made by the TV mediots of how one bad pitch can kill you in Coors. Really? I’m still trying to work out how one bad pitch managed to get runners at the corners in addition to the homer. Then, the much vaunted offense failed to capitalize on an unexpectedly solid performance from Super Dave Mlicki. Instead they scattered mostly singles, managing only one run which came on Doggie’s second solo ya-ya of the series.Read More

After an opening day aberration that raised some eyebrows and had frontrunners grabbing their ankles and running for the latrines (not an easy feat, you should try it sometime), the Astros settled into what’s hopefully a routine for the year. Pounding on the also-rans. It appears that, aside from Ben Sheets, the Brew Crew have little or no pitching. They have (so far) cut down on the strikeouts but still make outs anyway which is a very Chip Carey / Alan Ashby kind of improvement.

The ship was righted very quickly and with some style in the remaining games to record an acceptable home series win. I still don’t think that the Brewers have given us an adequate read on the 2002 Astros, but that will come this weekend and next weekend against the Cardinals. One thing I like from next week’s schedule is that, after an arm-sapping, bull-pen draining trip to the Rocky Mountains, the Astros have an off day before they roll into St. Louis. That’s a nice bonus for the good guys.

Yoinks and Away!

I was at the Game #2 romp. Here are some observations:-Read More

With one more day of Grapefruit League and a couple more warm-ups at the AFUS to go, things are pretty well set with the Astros. As I type, the only decision left to be made by the club is between Linebrink and Stone for the final bullpen slot. But wait! What’s that noise? That’s the clamoring of minor league scrubs all over Florida: begging for one shot at “Set it up on a” Tee J. Mathews. They want to earn slots on their clubs too, and an at-bat against Tee J. is the quickest way to impress a manager.

This guy is only earmarked for the Astros because of his guaranteed money. He’s now pitching worse than C.J., has been doing so for longer, and he doesn’t even have the benefit of C.J’s left-handedness. He flat out sucks. I know we’ve only seen him in Spring Training, but how much more do we need to see? He’s pitched 14 innings and given up a very symmetrical 14 earned runs. His latest disaster occurred when he gave up a titanic, three-run stinker to a Bravo prospect who is the size of Gary Coleman and makes DB’s spring output (’til now) look positively studley. Cut him! Rip! Rend! Tear!Read More