Visual Recap: Nickname Edition

Posted on August 13, 2009 by JackAstro in Game Recaps

Wednesday, Auguest 12, 2009

Astros 14
Fish 6

W: Norris (3-0) | L: Nolasco (8-8)

You know what happens when I can’t get started on a recap until after lunch, and have no desire to type out the minutiae of 20 runs crossing the plate? That’s right, MFers… lazy-ass photoshopping!

Beaker broke out the whoopin' stick, driving in 6 on a pair of 3-run smokies.

Twinkie returned from his sabbatical at the Furry convention, driving in 2 on a couple of doubles, and reaching safely 4 times.

Flapjack got in on the beatdown, driving in 3 on 3 hits.

And Hawk was back in action, sealing it with a perfect 9th.

The end.

A ride to Sticksville.

Posted on August 12, 2009 by BudGirl in Game Recaps, News

Astros 8, Marlins 9, in 11
W: Brian Sanchez, L: Wesley Wright

Astros Recap
Yahoo Recap
Game Zone

Wow, what a ride the Astros took us on last night. They go into the bottom of the 6th with a 5 run lead and lose the lead by the end of the 7th. And then in the top of the ninth, they come roaring back to tie it up. Eventually losing in the 11th.

I’m not really that upset they lost. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like them to lose, but rather am no longer surprised when they do.

Astros Highlights:

Tim Byrdak and Jose Valverde pitched three innings of scoreless baseball.

Michael Bourn went 2 for 5 on the night with a walk and 2 stolen bases. Have I said lately I love that kid?

Miguel Tejada was 3 for 5 on the night. He also had 3 RBIs.

Marlins Highlights:

Hanley Ramirez was 3 for 6 on the night. I just want the chance to say this kid is pretty freaking good.

Game Analysis:

Not much to analysis after this one. Roy Oswalt was doing good, got into trouble, Jeff Fulchino could not bail him out to save the lead and win the game. Hopefully Oswalt will have better results next time. There is still a chance today and Thursday for the Astros to avoid the sweep. Check out Craig’s Series Preview for more information.

Bench Tidbits:

Well, I am going to do my best to provide a glimpse into a BudGirl Tuesday night adventure to Sticksville.

It started out fine. I set the dvr to record the Astros game while I got in my ride to Gary’s Spot in Tomball, Texas (also known as Sticksville). Why would I be going to Sticksville you wonder? Well, because I am a nice person and a good friend. Why else would I agree to go see a band, Saraph from Constantine, Michigan, on a Tuesday night? Because they are from one of my best friend’s hometown.

So, we began the journey at 9:00 pm. Leaving the comfort of inside the 610 Loop in Houston. Everything seems to be fine, until we realize there is only country and no sign of “city” life. Yes, we went to far down 2920 trying to find Gary’s Spot. So, we turn around and finally find the spot (which happens to be at the corner of 249 and 2920).

So, we pay the exorbitant $3 cover charge and go inside. Instantly we are reminded why Houston, Texas is great. NO SMOKING!! I still smell like a cigarette. So, we grab a table and start talking to one of the guys that my friend knows from the band. I have to admit, he’s a cool kid.

Well, they finally perform around 11:00 or so. They are pretty good. Raw talent, but pretty good. During their performance we are approached by two guys, at different times. Both are in the band performing next. So, we commit ourselves to staying to watch Joan Red. I did enjoy this band a tad bit more.

All that may not seem like that big of an adventure, but don’t forget, I’m an angel. In Gary’s Spot is a pole, for anyone to use to dance at any time. I made the mistake of making eye contact with the manager (or owner or whomever he was) of the bar. Next thing I know there is a pair of chaps that I am being offered to use while dancing with the pole. I politely declined. I did get us two free shots though.

There was one chick that loved the pole. She got all the attention she wanted because of it. I rather think her parents are extremely proud of her. (meow)

I think the novelty of two girls, who did not look like chain-smoking-trailer-park girls were a hit on the night. (meow)

Thankfully around 1:00 we are done at the bar. We’ve taken pictures with the band, and other patrons, finished our beer and start the adventure back.

If there is one thing you should know about me, it is that I am directionally challenged. It is almost a guarantee that I will get lost. Well, last night was not one of those nights I am pleased to say. It was my friend’s misdirection that led us about 30 miles to Hempstead. BTW, there is a Buc-ee’s on the way to Hempstead.

So, on the night, we got lost twice. Hit on by members of the band. Freaked out by the gay guy I thought from behind was a chick. Ended up smelling like a cigarette. And my first opportunity and encouragement to dance with a stripper pole. What an adventure? I can’t wait to tell my mom.

BudGirl with the guy that did not hit on us.

BudGirl and the drummer from Joan Red

No, Bob Davidson did not work this game

Posted on August 11, 2009 by MusicMan in Game Recaps, News

Astros at Marlins, 8/10/09
Marlins 8, Astros 6
W: VandenHurk (2-1) L:Moehler (7-8) S: Nunez (12)
HR: Erstad (2)

Box score

I really wish I could get more worked up over this game, but when 12,000 people bother to show up to watch a team 3 1/2 games out of the division lead, then it doesn’t exactly set the mood.

Moehler got rocked for 4 runs in the first when he couldn’t find the plate with a guide dog, thus letting the miniscule air out of the balloon that might havebeen there. Erstad cut the lead in half the following inning with a 2-run dinger, and Moehler settled in with 3 straight 1-2-3 innings. A 1st and 2nd, 1 out situation in the 6th necessitated a Michaels PH for Moehler, a move that unfortunately did not pan out.

Enter Chris Sampson, who I think even neutral observers are concerned could have a Dave Dravecky-level incident on the mound if ~~Cooper~~ Blum doesn’t stop running him out there so often. Sampson loaded the bases with one out, and then allowed a run scoring single to CF with Bourn gunning down another victim at home. Hirstute Nick Johnson was then walked intentionally, followed by a play I can’t properly explain to you. Apparently whatever glaucoma patient MLB decided to run out last night decided that Sampson flinched before ever coming to a set position, and called a run-scoring balk.

Things just went downhill from there, and despite the best efforts of the umpiring crew to gift the run back to the Astros in the 9th with another balk, it just wasn’t enough.

Roy tries tonight to overcome his balky back, 6:05 CDT.

Astros at Marlins – Jimmy Buffett meets Handjob and the Dutch Rudder

Posted on August 9, 2009 by Craig in Series Previews

Apparently the Jimmy Buffett marketing machine is slowly taking over South Florida’s economy, choking off all other commerce like a Parrothead’s swollen prostate. With cash flow slowing to a trickle, they sold Jimmy the naming rights to Joe Dolphin Stadium or whatever the hell it used to be called. So of course he named it Land Shark.

The Marlins will wake up with a massive hangover and move to a new field in 2012, change their name to the Miami Marlins, and pretend they never heard of Jimmy Buffett. Good luck with that, because he’s already planning to put a volcano in left-centerfield and a boat dock behind home plate. And the home plate umpire will have a parrot. They’re also considering eyepatches, but the umpires union is protesting because those would be redundant.

Anyway, the Fish are 58-53, four games behind the Phillies, who they just swept on the road. Not too shabby. Cody Ross and Dan Uggla Muggla are leading the team in homers with 20 apiece, and Handjob Ramirez has 74 RBI. He’s also leading the league in batting at .348.

The Astros are still treading water in their quest for the perfect .500 season. I know it doesn’t make any sense, but Cecil Cooper thinks it does, so we just have to go along with it. But feel free to do an eye-roll that would make Footer proud.

Land Shark Stadium

Monday, August 10, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSH-HD
Tuesday, August 11, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSH-HD
Wednesday, August 12, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSH-HD
Thursday, August 13, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSH-HD, MLBN

Well of course the Marlins series will be shown on the FiSH-HeaD. There’s also a Florida amateur porn network called Fish-Tail. The amateur porn stars are kind of like the Marlins; you’ve never heard of any of them, but they’re still six games ahead of the goddamn Mets.

Notable giveaways

Boy, the Astros are burning up the turnstiles on the road, packing ’em in like sardines. Just check out the specials for this series:

WorkForce Monday – Every Monday, unemployed people can get four free tickets at Land Shark just by showing their unemployment documents. However, most economists will tell you this promotion only works for the recently unemployed; it discriminates unfairly against those citizens whose unemployment benefits have expired, causing them to give up hope of ever getting to see a fucking ballgame. I mean job.

Tuesday – No specials today because everyone found jobs yesterday hanging out at Land Shark.

Wednesday – Some bullshit radio ticket promo.

Thursday – Jesus, go home already, you fucking bums! The free tickets and handjobs were Monday.

Projected Matchups from Astros.com

Monday
Brian Moehler (7-7, 5.23) v. Rick VandenHurk (1-1, 4.29)

Moehler has only pitched a total of three innings against the Marlins in his career, but that’s because he was a Marlin for two years. At Jimmy Joe Robbie Stadium his record is 5-11 with an ERA that’s tickling 5.00. Only one Fish has more than five AB’s against Moehler, and that’s Nick Johnson who’s 4-for-18 with a homer.

Henricus VandenHurk, believe it or not, is from the Netherlands. He tried a wrestling career as a sort-of Darth Vader/Hulk Hogan mash-up character, but sadly South Florida wasn’t ready for that. So now he’s pitching for the Marlins and had 18 appearances a couple of years ago. He’s had four starts this year and won a game against the Fathers, but more recently got bombed by the Nationals.

The three Astros who have seen VandenHurk before – Kepp, Matsui, and Coste – are a combined 4-for-6 with two homers off him. Obviously they were steering with a Dutch Rudder.

Tuesday
Roy Oswalt (6-4, 3.61) v. Chris Volstad (8-9, 4.48)

Roy is scheduled to return in this series after having back problems in late July. In the past he’s owned a couple of Marlins – Ronny Paulino and Uggly Muggly – but he’s had trouble with several others. Hanley Ramirez, Jorge Cantu, and Jeremy Hermida all have two homers off him, and Wes Helms has another.

In his last start, Volstad gagged up a 6-0 lead to the Nationals. He’s also given up 23 homers in 23 starts. However, current Astros are 2-for-21 against him, with only Bourn and Erstad managing hits.

Wednesday
Bud Norris (2-0, 1.69) v. Ricky Nolasko (8-7, 4.86)

Norris will be getting his first look at the NL East after two nice wins against the 3rdinals and Brewers. In those two games he got 16 strikeouts in 16 innings.

Nolasco was 2-0 against the Astros last season, and now he’s on a streak of four straight quality starts. Hunter Pence is 2-for-5 against him and both hits were homers. Blum and Berkman also have homers off Nolasco, but Bourn, Lee, Quintero, and Matsui are a combined 0-for-15 against him.

Thursday
Mike Hampton (7-9, 5.30) v. Sean West (3-4, 4.88)

Hampton is questionable for this series, but he’s questionable for every series. He came out of his last start because of a torn something in his knee. If Hampton does pitch today, one guy to watch out for is Wes Helms who is 6-for-12 against him.

West has been up and down from the minors this year but has made 11 starts for the Fish. He’s lost his last two decisions, and he only went four innings in his last start though the team did get a win. No one on the Astros has faced him.

Injury Report

Houston – Berkman, Boone, Brocail, and Hawkins are all out. Mike Hampton is listed as questionable for this series, and Roy is probable. Keep your fingers crossed.

Florida – Alfredo Amezaga and Scott Procter are out for the season. Anibal Sanchez is on a rehab assignment. Reliever Burke Bradenhop is out, and another reliever, Kiko Calero, is questionable for this series.

Discuss today’s game in the Gamezone.

Sweet Sunday

Posted on August 9, 2009 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Brewers 0, Astros 2
W: Wandy Rodriguez, L: Yovani Gallardo, S: Jose Valverde

Astros Recap
Yahoo Recap

I have to admit, today was a sweet Sunday. The Astros won and I spent the day at the beach. I can only share what looks to be the highlights due to the reactions in the Game Zone.

Astros Highlights:

Wandy Rodriguez went 7 innings of shut out baseball. He gave up 5 hits and 3 walks. Good day Mr. Rodriguez.

Michael Bourn went 1 for 3, with a walk. He made a great defensive play. I seriously love the way this kid plays.

Geoff Blum got the runs on the board with his 2-run home run in the 4th inning.

Game Analysis:

The Astros won the series against the Brewers. I would not get to excited if I were you though. The Saturday game they lost was a total beat down. Unfortunately, Bazardo got beat to shit in the game. I’ll leave the discussion of whether he was used inappropriately up to others. But with Cooper managing the team, it would not surprise me that he was used worse than a woman in a wham-bam thank you ma’am kind of way.

Bench Tidbits:

I am looking for recommendations for any eateries in Surfside. We went to the beach there today and have no idea if there are any good eateries there.

George Strait serenaded me Saturday evening. I don’t care how old that man is, he is still AWESOME. It is almost silly how many of his songs bring back memories for me. I also enjoyed Blake Shelton. He did a good job and looks nice too.

Special thanks to Limey for making sure the boy that knocked my drink out my hand replaced it. That was a very gentlemanly thing to do. That was a fun night. I’m glad Andy threw himself a birthday party. Also, apologies to Beauty Queen for not getting back to you to confirm that I would be attending.

Astros head to Florida for some games this week. Let’s hope the weather is good, the Astros bats are hot, and their pitching worthy of us. Well, they probably need pitching better than what would be worthy of us. Check out Craig’s Series Preview for more in-depth information regarding the series.

Hampton Injured, Bazardo Shelled in Brewers’ Onslaught

Posted on August 9, 2009 by Arky Vaughan in Game Recaps

Five days after posting one of his better performances of the season, Mike Hampton lasted just two innings before exiting with a right knee sprain as Milwaukee blew out the Astros 12-5 at Minute Maid Park.

Hampton labored through 13 batters and 48 pitches and was in hot water early and often. Allowing the first two batters to reach in each of the first and second innings, Hampton had a chance to escape both frames unscathed but surrendered a two-out single to Casey McGehee in the first and a two-out single to Ryan Braun in the second to spot the Brewers a 3-0 lead.

Meanwhile, the Astros touched Milwaukee starter Manny Parra with a two-out single and walk in the first but failed to convert on the scoring opportunity. Houston pushed across a nicely constructed run in the second, with Ivan Rodriguez leading off with a double, Jason Michaels advancing him with a grounder to first and Chris Coste driving Pudge home with a grounder to second.

Milwaukee broke open the game in the third, when Yorman Bazardo, just called up from Round Rock, replaced Hampton. The Brewers went double, walk, walk, double before Bazardo threw the ball away on a sacrifice bunt attempt and issued another walk, having given up four runs with no outs recorded. Bazardo then struck out two batters but allowed another RBI single before retiring the side with the Astros in an 8-1 hole.

After Bazardo’s implosion in the third, Wesley Wright, Tim Byrdak and Alberto Arias posted six innings of so-so relief, scattering six hits, three walks and four runs, including a two-RBI, two-out blast by Prince Fielder off Byrdak in the seventh.

The Astros chipped away with a run in the fifth, two runs in the sixth and a run in the seventh on Carlos Lee’s 300th career home run, but they also allowed Milwaukee to dodge bullets by stranding nine runners. Particularly painful was Lee grounding into a double play with the bases loaded to end the fifth, Jeff Keppinger striking out with runners on first and second to end the sixth and Darin Erstad popping out to shortstop with runners on first and second in the eighth. The Astros were 1-for-8 with runners in scoring position.

The loss dropped the Astros to one game behind the Brewers for fourth place in the Central Division. Lee’s milestone marks the first time a club has had three players reach 300 career home runs in the same season. Rodriguez and Lance Berkman achieved the mark on May 17 and June 13, respectively.

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