By ‘strosrays
The Most Fucked-Up Fucking Series Preview in the Fucking History of Western Fucking Civilization
Astros (66-86) at Retardinals (71-80)
Fuckin’ Busch Stadium (III)
700 fuckin’ Clark Avenue
St. Louis, fuckin’ MO 63102
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▪Thursday, September 20 (7:10 p.m. CDT) – FSN (Fucking bullshit Sports Network)
▪Friday, September 21 (7:10 p.m. CDT) – FSN
▪Saturday, September 22 (6:15 p.m. CDT) – KNWS
▪Sunday, September 23 (7:05 p.m. CDT) – ESPN (Especially Suck-ass fucking Penile Network)
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“Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck” – Noe
There apparently isn’t going to be an official, sanctioned Series Preview posted for this series. That isn’t really any big deal, it has happened before. Sometimes life and the resulting responsibilities (or the utter lack of any creative ideas, which is even scarier) intrude into the Preview writing process, and you, gentle readers, will just have to fucking excuse us for it. We got lives, too, motherfuckers! Well, at least some of us.
Anyway, I believe this particular Preview was assigned to Foghorn. I’m not really surprised at his no-show, he has been kind of scarce around here lately. That is nothing against Foggy at all who, aside from being one of my favorite people on the planet and a constant inspirational beacon of utter vulgarity, is also involved in work much more important than my own, I believe. If a Series Preview isn’t written because Foghorn is helping save someone’s fucking life or sumpin’, who the fuck am I to complain? Plus, there are some rumors out there (admittedly started by me, mostly) that Foghorn has recently been engaged in serious medical research with a 17-year-old female Swedish exchange student he is hosting in his home this semester. Now, I ask you. . . Series Preview? Or Swedish exchange student? I’ll let you decide.
I read somewhere recently that the movie The Usual Suspects contained 98 instances of the word “fuck” or one of it’s forms or derivatives in it. I always liked that movie, now I know why. Anyway, 98 fucks is impressive, and may even be a record, unless there is some Joe Pesci-Harvey Keitel movie out there somewhere I’ve forgot. So impressive that I am using those 98 fucks as a goal and the perpetually profane Foghorn as an inspiration here. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Special Encore BONUS Series Preview, Astros at Co-ardinals, the uncut Fuck-all Version. Read it and fucking weep.Read More