Despite last night’s impressive win, the Astros continue to be the Co-Ardinals doormat. Actually, they’re the doormat of just about anyone not called Pittsburgh. Despite all of Jimy’s machinations, and God knows he’s been machinating, the offense can score runs in bunches only once or twice a week and goes horribly barren for the remainder.

This latest series was just more of the same. Despite outscoring the Co-Ards 14-13 over the three games, the Astros come out 1-2 losers. They have hammered out 233 runs so far, 4 less than the Red Birds while allowing a mere 217, 2 better than the Red Birds. Yet we’re staring up a Co-Shit Pipe to the tune of 7.5 games. Stick that in your Pythagorean theory and smoike it!

I don’t think I’m doing anything other than stating the bleedin’ obvious here when I say it’s the offense that’s at fault. What’s maddening, though, is that Jimy has no bullets to fire. Biggio may be clawing his way back to respectability and Ward may sport a flattering BA, but the truth of the situation is that only Lugo is doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done. And that, dear reader, is a recipe for disaster; bigger than taking fruit steeped in Everclear to the Miller Outdoor Theater. Trust me on this one.Read More

The Astros and Co-ards are right there at the top of the NL batting table. The Astros lead the league in average and are second in slugging (to Arizona who’ve pounded an amazing 40 homers already) and only the freakish Montreal tops them in OBP. However, once you look past the two fancied Central division power-houses, you have to go a long way down the list to find the next NL Central club.

All the way to the bottom, actually.

Cincy (.238 Team BA), Chicago (.235), Milwaukee (.234) and Pittsburgh (.232) occupy the last 4 places on the hitting table. Chicago, presumably thanks to Skippin’ Sammy, shows some life in the slugging category, but otherwise it’s lights out for these clubs – in the bad sense of the phrase.

So how come the Astros and Co-ards aren’t running away with this thing?Read More

As I sit down to write, the Astros have just completed a piss-poor week. The 2-4 record on the road doesn’t really do justice to the frustration this trip has induced thus far. It started off well, with Biggio hitting for the cycle behind an effective Oswalt in the Astro-Graveyard one mile in the sky. Although things have gone better for this club in recent years in Coors, coming away with a split is nothing to be sniffed at.

However, the manner of the defeats in games #2 and #3 caused concern. Reynolds served up a 2-on meatball to scrub catcher Burnett, and blew a winnable game. Much mileage was made by the TV mediots of how one bad pitch can kill you in Coors. Really? I’m still trying to work out how one bad pitch managed to get runners at the corners in addition to the homer. Then, the much vaunted offense failed to capitalize on an unexpectedly solid performance from Super Dave Mlicki. Instead they scattered mostly singles, managing only one run which came on Doggie’s second solo ya-ya of the series.Read More