(Alternatively titled: “You know your team is having a rough time when ever Mariners fans feel a need to mock you…”)

April 8, 2013

Seattle 3, Houston 0 (Box Score; Gamezone)

W: J. Saunders (1-1)

L: P. Humber (0-1)

S: T. Wilhelmsen (3)

There is something about Opening Day Baseball.  This holds true even if it is not really Opening Day (in fact a week after actual Opening Day, which is not really Opening Day anymore as W. Huber has decreed from upon high that there will be an official Opening Day game before Opening Day, but alas I digress), rather the home opener, and the opposing team’s home opener to boot.  Still, for the first time since the eternity of the most recent Void, baseball had found its way back to the Pacific Northwest.  Not only was baseball back in the Northwest, but the Astros were heading back to the Northwest for the first time since June 7-9, 2004 when the Astros took two of three from the Mariners.  I’d had the opportunity to attend game two of the series – it is was phenomenal.  Though the Astros were held to three hits on the night, a MoBerg sac-fly in the top of the seventh inning sent Bags home for the Astros only run of the night, which proved enough as Clemens-Lidge-Dotel managed to hold the Mariners scoreless. It was, to say, memorable for me as it was the first time I’d seen the Astros in person since I’d left the Houston area in late 1993/early 1994.

For me, however, the game last night had a very different ‘feel’ to it.  The Astros came into Safeco Filed not as a ‘curiosity’ via inter-league game, rather as a soon-to-be regular visitor to Safeco Field as the newest (and least regarded) member of the American League West.   And with that came a sense of unease, at times slowly eating away at the anticipation and excitement of being a part of Opening Day*esque festivities.   The Astros play the previous five games had only served to magnify this unease.  Still, Opening Day*esque baseball was back, and I was still looking forward to being a part of it.

And I was still looking forward to it even after two of my close friends who I’d invited to join me and my colleagues on  the trip to Safeco held us up from getting to the park for a collective hour-plus as they attempted to get their shit straight… Yes, I was annoyed (read: pissed off).  Fortunately, for the sake of my colleagues who actually wanted to see most of the Opening Day*esque baseball pre-game festivities, I drove like the proverbial bat out of hell’ and made up 30 minutes on the trip.  [Unfortunately, Washington loves their photo-radar machines and I am unconvinced that fortune may have shown brightly enough upon me yesterday to have avoided all (or even many) of the photo-radar sped-traps set up on I-5 North to Seattle].  That said, we arrived at Safeco safely, and in time to see many (but not all) of the Opening Day*esque festivities.  And in arriving at the park, whatever difficulties or apprehensions involved in so doing were instantly gone.  It was, after all, live baseball.  On a beautiful night. In a great venue.  And once again all seemed right with the world.

Admittedly, I was hoping (against hope) I would get the opportunity to witness an Astros win against ‘hated divisional foe’ the Seattle Mariners, but that was not to be (Astros lost 3-0).  I did, however, get to witness an encouraging outing from Astros’ starter Philip Humber (6.0 IP, 5 H, 3 R, 3 ER, BB, 2 SO, 1.11 WHIP, 3.09 ERA).  And, fortunately, I did not have to endure another 10-plus strikeout performance (8 on the night) by the Astros (and remained aware of the ‘K-Count’ throughout the game as my colleagues made every effort to ensure that I could not remain oblivious to Astros’ whiffs (either during the present game or for the Astros season-to-date)), so there is that.  Most importantly, however, I got to see baseball – Astros baseball (even if it was the craptastic version that we’ve seen since game two of the 2013 season).  And despite the loss, in being at a baseball game and enjoying all that goes along with being at a game, all was right with the world once again.

Athletics 9, Astros 3

W: Anderson (1-1)
L: Harrell (0-2)

In a way, we have a similar road, the Astros and I. You see, I’ve got opportunities. I just got handed a chance to do something I’ve wanted to do for years, a chance that isn’t really going to change my life the way I thought it would if it’d happened back when I first wanted it, but it could definitely make the fringes of my existence a lot more interesting.

This’ll be a real gutcheck. Am I up to this challenge? Do I have what it takes to seize this one, or am I only partway good enough, smart enough, resourceful enough? I am determined though, a determination I had all those years ago but now maybe I’ve got a better sense of awareness and pacing.

The Astros? Well, I guess they’ve got some opportunities too. Are they up to the task? Everybody says no. Even the most wildeyed Media Guide-thumping True Believers out there know that the absolute pie in the sky ceiling of possibility is to approach mediocrity. This team isn’t going to be the Miracle Mets. This team isn’t going to surprise everyone even like last year’s Pirates. This team will be extraordinarily lucky to crack 65 wins, and if they did it would only be by scratching and clawing as if they were buried in a coffin, six feet under. That is not an entirely unreasonable characterization of where they are, and what it’s going to be like when they finally do pop out of the dank wormy earth that surrounds their box.

It’s too early to slip into the same ruts we were in last season, explaining the grind of futility in some colorful way. There are some spots on this team that have potential. Not all of it, to be sure, but enough of the players are battling to find themselves and their place. They were well-regarded prospects at one time, and though they might have been tested and found wanting by others they could still align their talent and opportunities into something more than they are right now. As a team? No. Way too many holes to really compete for an entire season. In places? Sure. Matt Dominguez, Chris Carter, Brandon Barnes, Jason Castro, Lucas Harrell, Josh Fields, Brad Peacock, Jose Altuve – these guys can all play, and some of them might turn that Mighty Corner and be the building blocks for the future.

Or they might all fail into sub-mediocrity. We ought to get those answers this year.

Rock and Roll means well, but it can’t help tellin’ young boys lies.

***

It didn’t take long for Sunday’s game to get away. Harrell didn’t have his control, and if a groundball pitcher doesn’t have that he doesn’t have anything. The A’s were able to wait for him to throw over the plate and then they slapped him around. Crisp had two hits, including a home run; Lowrie had three hits, including a two-run homer; Chris Young had a three-run shot. Maxwell scratched out a couple of hits, Carter had a booming triple to left-center in response. Fourteen strikeouts for Houston today, against pitchers who really don’t strike out that many. This was Houston’s fifth straight loss, and a tough way to end a homestand before a West Coast swing.

A’s 6, Astros 3

contributed by Mr. Happy

One of my favorite big league managers of all time was the late Earl Weaver, who once said that the secret to winning baseball games was pitching and three run homers. Tonight, the Astros got starting pitching and one three run dinger, but it proved not to be enough, as the home nine dropped their fourth in a row to the ageless Bartolo Colon and the Oakland Athletics 6-3. The problem for the Astros tonight was one Ronny Cedeno, whose critical error in the sixth inning allowed three unearned runs score in a four run uprising that made a loser out of Bud Norris, whose gutsy 122 pitch performance deserved better. Ronny Cedeno will remind no one of the Orioles’ rangy Mark Belanger at SS.

The bats came to life a little tonight against Colon, highlighted by Jason Castro’s three run oppo that put the Astros out in front 3-1. The Astros garnered eight hits against Colon in his six frames. However, Colon, a wily veteran who doesn’t walk anyone, wormed his way off of the ropes by using his famous sinker to induce an inning-ending twin killing in his last frame, one of his ten groundball outs. Colon doesn’t strike out too many hitters anymore, but, at 39, he remains a serviceable big league starter. The A’s shut-down bully slammed the door on the Astros, who managed eight hits with only four (yes, four) strikeouts tonight.

Some observations are in order. I applauded Bo Porter in the Game Zone for sticking with Norris at a point where the pitch count priests were apoplectic. A few of us questioned the decision to play Ronny Cedeno at SS against a right-hander, particularly since, in all likelihood, Cedeno will start again today against the portsider. The only explanation must have been to give Jose Altuve a night off in the field. I have been less than impressed with Cedeno since his late signing at the end of spring training.

Poor Chris Carter, who accounted for half of the Astros’ strikeouts and who didn’t hit the ball out of the infield, is lost right now. For his sake, Bo Porter must give him today off to settle down. J.D. Martinez and Brandon Barnes can man the corners today, particularly against the lefty. Dallas Keuchel threw a serviceable three innings, surrendering only Seth Smith’s meaningless opposite field homerun. Keuchel was in a serious corners jam in the eighth inning when he induced a nifty 1-6-3 off the bat of the Sasquatch (Josh Reddick, per Austro) to save the save opportunity for Grant Balfour. Ron Brand owes Keuchel a cold one for that.

Lucas Harrell goes today against a tough lefty, Brett Anderson, as the Astros try to avoid a series brooming by the visitors. Come check us out in the Game Zone. We don’t bite. Unless you say something idiotic.

Athletics 7
Astros 3

contributed by NeilT

Kris and I are in Austin for the third Foodways Texas Symposium. It’s our second, and this year the topic is barbecue. The first night Aaron Franklin served brisket and pulled pork. Friday night Jim Goode and Brian Caswell barbecued crabs, shrimp and oysters. It was spectacular. I was full, and a little beered up, and didn’t want to write a recap, so I let Oakland’s most famous daughter write it.

The game, the game was not. Peacock was doing something and standing is one doing something and standing. Someone was doing something and was standing. Coco Crisp led with a homer. Peacock walked two more in the first inning, gave up a single and a walk in the second, got through the third and the fourth, gave up a one-out double in the fifth, and then was pulled for Xavier Cedeno. I don’t know why. After was a seven-run inning, with a Marwin Gonzalez chop-off bases-loaded error, 13 batters, 6 hits, and 4 walks. Two pitchers after Peacock, Xavier Cedeno who achieved infinity with three earned runs and no outs, and Rhiner Cruz. Pigeons on the grass alas.

Meanwhile the Astros struck out thrice in the first, twice in the second, twice in the third, and once in the fifth. They struck out five more times. Wallace struck out three times on four at-bats, Ankiel struck out every plate appearance, so seven of the thirteen strike outs were split between Wallace and Ankiel, but rose is a rose is a rose. To strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out. When in France one must adapt oneself to the smell of a urinal.

These unifoms look good, but you can either buy clothes or buy pictures. It’s that simple.

Cruz gave up two more singles in the 6th, but Donaldson grounded into a double play, Altuve to Wallace. Wright, Armbriz, and Veras finished the 7th, 8th, and 9th, with one walk in the 9th The offense picked up too. Gonzalez doubled in the 6th and scored on an Altuve single. Maxwell got his third extra base hit in the 7th and scored on a Dominguez single. Gonzalez singled, Altuve walked, and then with the bases loaded Wallace managed not to strike out with a fly ball out to center. For Wallace, there is no there there.

In the 9th Castro doubled, was moved to third on a second Dominguez double, and scored on a Gonzalez ground-out. I have been rich and I have been poor. It’s better to be rich.

Do not let the strike-outs worry you. One does not get better but different and older and that is a pleasure. It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing. A vegetable garden in the beginning looks so promising and then after all little by litle it grows nothing but vegetables, nothing, nothing but vegetables.

Astros lose to Rangers 4-0

W: Ogando (1-0)
L: Humber (0-1)

contributed by Sphinx Drummond

Ah, a day game. A businessman’s special. The euphoria that wafted through and around MMP Monday like napalm on a Vietnam delta circa 1967, had long dissipated and been replaced by the turd-like smell of a shitty baseball team.

To hear most in the media and elsewhere, you’d think the Astros were the worst team in baseball with the cheapest payroll. Well, maybe they are, but to me they are also a collection of brave young misfits who show fortitude and comraderie every time they take the field. The Astro players have to be aware of their low standing but they don’t let it get them down, they continue to show up and make an effort in spite of the overwhelming odds. Plus as MLB players, they get paid well. And it’s baseball.

Wednesday afternoon, Ranger starter Alexi Ogando picked up where Yu Darvish left off and proceeded to whiff one Astro after another. It was a horrible performance by the brave and outmatched Astro hitters, spoiling a good outing by Philip Humber who gave up only one run on five hits through 5 and 2/3 innings. Ogando, who was pitching like his face had once caught on fire and somebody used an ice pick to put it out, was marvelous in picking up the win while striking out 10 courageous Astros before being relieved after 6 and 1/3 innings. In all the Astros struck out a total of 15 times–quite the opposite of impressive, if you’re still an Astro fan.

It’s easy to evaluate the performance of a bad team – when they win they overachieve, when they lose they meet expectations. I don‘t see this team overachieving much.

Rangers 7, Astros 0

W: Darvish (1-0)
L: Harrell (0-1)

Contributed by Reuben

This week I am on vacation in a sleepy little town about an hour south of Charleston, South Carolina called Edisto Beach. Jasper Johns once had a studio here, but so far no one I’ve encountered, while biking around, strolling along the beach, or shopping at the Piggly Wiggly, has looked likely to have any idea who Jasper Johns is. A glance at the Edisto Chamber of Commerce website reveals many suggested cultural and recreational activities to do… in Charleston. What I love about it, though, is that it’s a nice, quiet, un-hyped place to be with your extended family and look at the ocean and play board games and cook shrimp. My youngest niece, Lily, is 3, and she’s quite the uber-cute ball of squealing energy in such a setting. When’s she not being hypnotized by the Lorax DVD, she loves to fight with my brother and/or me, pretending we’re monsters or some kind of bad guys. She and my brother have developed a little routine where they just take turns pointing at each other and saying “You get out of MY house!” giggle giggle “YOU get out of MY house!” It can go on for quite some time, because she is very, very amused by it. So I almost titled this recap “Yu Get Out of My House,” but I felt like Marwin really deserved to be included. Maybe I’ll save that one for when the Astros actually beat Darvish, at Minute Maid.

I don’t really feel like I need to say anything about the game itself, so I’ll just send you over to The Most Beautiful Single Ever Hit In A 7-0 Losing Cause.