Astros 5, Orioles 2

Submitted by Reuben

That’s more like it, now. The Astros took a 3-0 lead 3 batters into the game Sunday afternoon, as walks to Altuve and Fowler were followed by a first-pitch homer off the bat of Jason Castro. While it didn’t initially appear that he had gotten enough to get it all the way out – especially as Oriole CF Adam Jones casually cruised back after it – Castro’s shot just kept carrying to straightaway CF. An impressive clout for a guy who hasn’t looked like himself lately.

Technically those 3 runs were enough, but let’s be honest here, who really thinks the Astros could have protected a mere 3-2 lead those last few innings? Marc Krauss, who presumably has an inkling that his MLB job is on life support, provided 2 very valuable insurance runs when he homered off O’s lefty McFarland with Matt Dominguez on base. Krauss finished 2-for-4 with a walk, raising his average to a less-pathetic .187.

Meanwhile, Jarred Cosart pitched another fine game, despite not really having his great curve working. Baltimore hitters bunched together 4 singles in a row to plate 2 runs in the 3rd inning, but otherwise Cosart did a great job of pitching out of trouble, as he had baserunners in all but one of his 6 innings. The key moment came in the bottom of the 5th, when a walk and double gave the O’s two men in scoring position with 1 out and a 3-2 score. Cosart struck out cleanup hitter Jones on 3 pitches – leading to a hilarious bat-slamming display by Jones – and then coaxed a fly ball from Nelson Cruz to get out of the inning unscathed.

Coming on in relief of JC was Tony Sipp, who is bidding for McHugh-esque legendary status with his early Astro career numbers – he’s now thrown 4 perfect innings, spanning 3 games, with 7 K’s. Sipp’s excellent extended outing allowed for a smooth transition to Chad Qualls, who presumably won a pre-game rock/paper/scissors tournament and thus was Today’s Closer. To be fair, Qualls has had good results since his April 19th meltdown, tossing 7 scoreless innings with 8 K’s, 6 H and 1 BB. He shrugged aside a 2-out HBP to notch the Save today.
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Also Of Note: Altuve was 3-for-4 with his 11th 2B, and a BB. Now hitting .288 with a .343 OBP… Matty D notched 2 hits for the 3d game in a row, bringing his AVG to .252… Springer was 0-for-5 with 4 K (all swinging), so evidently the dingers haven’t helped him relax any.
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Futility Watch: The Astros are now tied with the Cubs for the fewest Wins in the Majors after Chicago lost to the Braves Sunday afternoon, their 3rd straight defeat. Meanwhile, the D-backs won their 2nd in a row as some guy named Chase Anderson made his MLB debut by tossing 5 1/3 IP with 2 hits and 1 R for the win. Despite a 12-10 road record the D’backs are a cringe-worthy 3-15 at home. The Astros remain the worst overall, though, 1 game behind the Cubs and 2 behind AZ for 28th place. (note: who’s 27th? Shockingly, the Rays, at 16-22)
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Happy Mothers’ Day.

Houston 3
Baltimore 4

contributed by NeilT

Houston has now played 36 games. There’s some magic in the number 36. It’s 22.2222% of the season. It’s 6 squared. If I add 3 and 6 I get 9, which is the number of innings in most baseball games.

Because it was kind of magical—not like a 7, but kind of—I thought about checking in on Miss Lola, just to get some sense of the numbers. I emailed her and she said she was busy counting votes on the human rights ordinance, and wouldn’t really have time to talk until after the city council vote on Wednesday. I don’t know whether she’s for the ordinance or against it. I guess she hangs out at that gay bar, and maybe that means she’s for it, but she really doesn’t dress like a liberal. She always dresses like a lady.

She did tell me in the email that yeah, this team is not the small-garden-shed burner I had hoped it would be, but that it’s not really much worse than last year. Last year the team had a winning percentage of .315. This year through 36 games it’s .314. The team OPS for 2013 was .674, this year it’s .656. The team ERA was 4.79, this year so far it’s 4.91. Get this: Miss Lola pointed out that the team fielding percentage has actually improved: .982 to .979. That made me feel a lot better.

It was nice to have Feldman back as the starter. He pitched a fine 6 innings, and left with the game tied 2-2. Williams gave up 2 runs in the 7th and the final score was 3-4. Dominguez had a nice night, with a double and a single on 3 at-bats. Karter had a home run in the 7th to tie it, and no Ks. The Stros made their final run in the 9th, and for a brief shining moment in the 9th I once again had hope, but then Karter GIDPd, and Springer Kd.

Astros 6 Tigers 2

contributed by Mr. Happy

Managing to avoid a sweep and ending another losing streak, the Good Guys rode home runs from George Springer (his first big league home run), Carlos Corporan and Matt Dominguez and the left arm of Dallas Keuchel in the win over Detroit, snapping their long win streak. Dallas Keuchel has turned into a consistent starting pitcher, going 7.2 innings, scattering six hits and striking out seven, and walking none. Keuchel employed a very effective curve ball into the kitchen of right-handed hitters, which was a new angle for him.

The bottom four hitters in the Astros lineup went 6-13 with three home runs, scoring all six runs, having six of the eight Astros hits and driving in four of the runs. For one of the few times this season, the Astros had more walks (four) than strikeouts (three). Anthony Bass came into the game at a critical juncture, facing the vaunted Miguel Cabrera as the tying run, retiring Cabrera on a groundball to end the eighth inning.

The Good Guys travel to Baltimore to face the Orioles in a three game series. Come check us out in the Game Zone.

Tigers beat Astros 3-2 and claim best record in MLB

contributed by Sphinx Drummond

BOX

Everybody who read the Jungle Book
Knows that Rikki Tikki Tavi’s a mongoose who kills snakes
When I was a young man I was led to believe
There were organizations to kill my snakes for me
i.e. the church, i.e. the government, i.e. the school
But when I got a little older I learned I had to kill them myself

One advantage of being an Astros fan is that one never has to check the league standings to see how well the Astros are doing. Until recently the Astros were getting some strong competition from the Diamondbacks and Cubs for the worst place award. Now they sit all alone in last place. However, if one were to look at the record of the last 10 games played, one would see that the Braves and Rangers have only won 2 of their last 10, while the Astros have won 3 of their last 10. Which doesn’t mean much other than the fact that the Braves and Rangers have been shittier for the past 10 games they’ve played than the Astros have been in their last 10 games played.

The Tigers wasted no time, scoring 2 runs in the bottom of the 1st inning. Kinsler led off, took the free pass offered by Peacock and scored two batters later on Cabrera’s 2 run homer to right field. The homerun was about six inches too far for Springer to get to. For a game of inches, the Astros constantly come up a few too short. And that’s not a knock on Altuve.

The Astros got a run back in the third when Gonzalez hit a double, moved to third on Altuve’s fly out to right, and scored on a Fowler ground out. The Tigers extended the lead by a run in the sixth with a solo shot by Victor Martinez. The Astros did pull within one run in the seventh after Krauss’ double, he advanced to third on a single by Dominguez, and scored on a Gonzalez single.

Peacock didn’t pitch badly but it’s almost like a guy has to throw a shutout to get a win.

The Astros have a knack of scoring less than the team they are playing and that is not conducive to winning. If the Astros score 7 the other team will have 11, if they score 2 the other team will have 3.

Rikki Tikki Tavi, mongoose is gone
Won’t be coming around for to kill your snakes no more my love
Riki Tiki Tavi mongoose is gone

The Astros regroup Thursday for a Businessman’s Special at 12:08CT with Kuechel (2-2) facing off against Smyly (2-1).

Attendance – 26207
Game Time – 3:06
Temperature – 57

SEA 8, uh, HOU 7

Submitted by Reuben

There’s not a whole lot to say about the Astros’ Sunday loss at the hands of their ancient rivals, the Mariners, that wasn’t already said by Ron Brand in his write-up of Saturday’s game. The Astros’ pitching staff put the team in a big hole, and the offense, surprisingly, came very close to climbing all the way out of it. But close only counts in horseshoes and hand-grenades, and maybe depth charges, which come to think of it might have been the perfect thing to fight the Mariners with; in any case, it didn’t compel the commissioner of the American League (whoever that is) to award the Astros the victory.

The trouble started early for Collin McHugh, who gave up an unearned run in the 1st after cHRis Karter kouldn’t handle his slightly-off-target pickoff throw, allowing the baserunner to advance all the way to 3rd, later scoring on a groundout to a drawn-in cHRis Karter, who for some reason did not throw the ball home. Perhaps he just really wanted to tag out Robinson Cano.

The wheels really fell off McHugh’s wagon in the 3rd, when he allowed a walk, 2 doubles, a triple, and 2 singles, plating 4 more runs for the scurvy SEA-dogs. The 5 hits in that inning equaled the total number allowed by McHugh in his first two starts for the Astros. It got better only relatively from there, as McHugh and long/mop-up man Jerome Williams allowed 3 more runs combined over the next 5 frames.

They would prove to be vital insurance for the M’s, however, as the Houston bats got mad as hell and weren’t gonna take it anymore, again (?). Jonathan Villar is now your team leader in Home Runs after going deep for the 2nd straight game. Jason Castro had a nice night, going 2-4 with a Run, RBI, and a walk, as did Alex Presley, who doubled and homered. In total the home team banged out 4 doubles and 2 homers.

The latest addition to the revolving-lefty-reliever-carousel, Darin Downs, tossed a scoreless 9th inning in his Astro debut, allowing for some drama in the bottom of the frame – Castro singled in Altuve with 2 outs to draw them within 1 and bring the winning run to the plate in form of Matt “Closah Killah” Dominguez. This time, though, it was the Astros’ bid for a series win that got murdered, as Matty D struck out on a 96-mph “rising” fastball to snuff the rally, permanently.

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