2004 – 2006

Welcome to the 2nd “Annual” Academy of OrangeWhoopass Arts and Sciences Awards, or as you know ’em and love ’em: The 2006 “Waldos”.

The few of you who can actually count probably realize that you should be reading the 4th edition of these awards. We could throw around a bunch of excuses (like Waldo taking a stab at writing them but getting discouraged that no one else thought crafting the awards in binary was a good idea) but the bottom line is something that you are all familiar with and aware of: We are a bunch of lazy bastards.

So instead of the best posts, takes and one-liners from only one year, we?re giving you nearly triple the funny as a regular Hall of Fame. Also, if you?re an award winner, you can consider yourself at least a 3-time award winner, which should make you a hit with the ladies while also looking sharp on a resume, or C.V. if you speak Latin.

Before we begin, the admins would like to thank all of the posters and lurkers, especially the 6 of you who aren?t moderators. You six make the board worth coming to at least every 3rd day with your witty observations and entendres. And you do it for none of the perks that the moderators get. But what?s a rub girl worth these days anyway. They?re liable to leave one of your windows open when you go out for breakfast while their dancer friends empty out your apartment. Not that I?m bitter.

So without further ado, here are your 2006 Waldos?

THE MOST INCREDIBLE PREDICTION IN THE HISTORY OF THE TZ
Kevin

The Houston Astros were in a tailspin in 2005 and the Houston Chronicle printed an obituary complete with a tombstone to pronounce the team’s playoff hopes dead. The TZ is dismal and in rushes Kevin with the following on 05/24/05:

“Maybe half an hour ago, after hearing JD say something like this is the worst start ever by an Astros team through this many games, I experienced a strange calm.

Call it a hunch or psychosis, but I am being led to predict that May 24 will represent a turning point for the club, for the better, by some measure.

So I’m just getting this posted as a matter of public record. Thanks for your time.”

Dude was dead spot on, as the Houston Astros not only made the postseason, but went all the way to the World Series. Players were asked about the miraclous turnaround to the season and to a man, they all said they reached rock bottom on 05/24 and from that day forth, they played their best baseball. Jason Stark even accented the prediction by offering up a column on ESPN.com right before the start of the World Series referencing 05/24 as the turning point date for Houston.

Awesome.Read More