Astroleena 6, Angel 3

contributed by NeilT

When I came through the door Honey told me she was in my office. “I couldn’t keep her out Brad. I would have had to call the cops, and I knew you didn’t want that.”

It had been years since I’d seen her, and she looked the worse for wear. She was still beautiful though, but harder around the mouth and eyes, more frayed around the edges.

“Astroleena.” I sat down behind the desk and started opening mail, bills mostly, and advertising. I stayed quiet, waiting for her.

You could tell she was nervous; there was none of the old assurance, none of that feeling that she was one trade away from respectability. “It’s been a hard few years Brad. I don’t know who else to turn to. I know you don’t owe me anything, but I was hoping something was still there.” She paused, reached across the desk and gently touched my hand. If I’d been smart I’d have thrown her out then and there.

I’m smart, but not about Astroleena.

“I’ve lost it, Brad. I’ve lost my ability to string together three wins. I think it may be in Anaheim. I was hoping you’d go look for me.”

***
I hate Anaheim, that damned Disney town. It’s dirty, and I’m not talking about trash. If you want to know what’s going down in Anaheim, there’s only one place to start, Boss Rat. He owns that city.

Boss Rat

I called Rat and he said he was looking for Astroleena, because she owed a friend of his some wins. He told me to meet him at the Magic Kingdom. I drove up Highway 1 from San Diego then stood in line to see the Rat.

“Cheese,” he offered, pushing a plate of bright yellow cheddar across a table to me. “I love cheese,” he said. “Since Annette died I can’t get enough. It’s grief.”

I asked him what he knew about the third win.

“You think that’s why I agreed to see you? She told you she was missing a third win? I’m out of baseball, it’s a rich man’s game, but she’s been taking wins from my friend Angel. You go talk to Angel.” He reached for another piece of cheese.

***
Los Angeles Angels Stadium of Anaheim isn’t far from the Magic Kingdom, but when I got there Astroleena was ahead of me, facing off against Angel. I knew immediately that she had set me up. She thought I’d take her side. She thought I’d pop Angel for her. She had never figured out that I might not be as bad as my reputation.

And I won’t be played for a patsy. I sat down in the stands and watched.

***
Keuchel went 7 innings, throwing 90 pitches, with 14 groundouts, 4 strikeouts, and no walks. He gave up two ER in the second. In the GameZone, people seriously asked why Keuchel was taken out after the 7th. I never thought I’d hear that.

Clemens ran into homer trouble with Erik Aybar in the 8th and got pulled for Blackley. Hamilton popped out to Dominguez to end the inning. Veras, our 4.50 ERA closer, got the save with Iannetta and Conger SOs and a ground out by Callaspo to Carter.

It was a good night at the plate. Castro started off the Astros scoring with a homer in the 4th. Carter and Dominguez each drove in an RBI in the 4th with Sac Flies. Carter hit a single in the 6th and walked in the 2d and the 7th. A Barnes single drove in Cedeno after Cedeno led off the inning with a single. Pena was on fire with a double and two singles in 5 ABs.

Pena stole second on a single in the 1st but was stranded. Altuve stole third in the 7th and then scored on a Pena single.

The Astros are 5-5 over their last 10 games. That’s real baseball. The Los Angeleeeez Angels of Anaheim are 7-3.

***
After the game she stood in front of me, beautiful as ever.

“You didn’t need me Astroleena.”

“Brad,” she said, gazing at me with those baby blues, “I need your help.”

“I can’t help you Astroleena. You’re trouble.”

“But I need you Brad. I think I know where I can get a 4th win. I think it’s in Anaheim. I was hoping you’d go look for me.”

Astros 7 Rockies 5

contributed by Mr. Happy

The Astros rode back-to-back jacks by Chris Carter (a three run shot) and en fuego Matt Dominguez (his eighth) to gain a rare come-from-behind road win against the Rockies 7-5. In what is becoming all too common, Lucas Harrell battled his command and himself, but he pitched well enough to garner the W. Brad Peacock relieved Harrell in the sixth inning and incredibly tossed 2.1 frames of one hit relief for a hold. Because Jose Veras wasn’t available after having thrown three days in a row, Hector Ambriz relieved Wesley Wright in the ninth inning to gain his first save.

Harrell came perilously close to getting tossed by Balking Bob Davidson after questioning a time out call that Harrell felt was too late. I had the opportunity to spend a little time with Davidson back in the late 80’s or early 90’s. Davidson takes no shit from players or managers; he has very rigid ideas about how to run a game. When his mask comes off, as it did with Harrell last night, he’s close to forcing someone to take an early shower.

According to Steve Sparks last night, Harrell also got upset about a play that Chris Carter didn’t get to in left field. At this level, Harrell needs to get past that shit. If he can’t, then he either needs therapy or medication or both. Umpires and teammates are going to not measure up in your eyes regularly. If he continues to let that get to him, then it will arrest his development as a pitcher. Just sayin’.

I listened to much of this game on my phone while driving around Toledo, interspersed with oral directions from my phone GPS since I don’t know Toledo and have no sense of direction or spatial awareness, i.e., north, south, etc. I plan on venturing to Fifth Third Stadium, the home of the storied Toledo Mudhens. I’ve already purchased the obligatory Mudhens cap as well as a Toledo Rockets cap and tie, me being a company man and all.

The Astros head to Anaheim to take on the Halos. Come join us in the GameZone. We might even discuss the game.

Astros 6, Rockies 3

contributed by Sphinx Drummond

Wednesday the Astros faced the same team in Denver that they faced the day before in Houston, the Rockies. I don’t recall such weird scheduling. Is it a back to back two game series or is it a four game series in two towns with different DH rules for half the games? I don’t know. For some reason, this year inter-league play has become amorphous, blurry, and diluted. Like peeing on a water colored piece of art, Bud Selig continues to change the game into something less than it was. FYB.

In either the third game or first game of the series, with 26,881 in attendance, in a stadium named for a beer that nobody I know drinks, the Astros had Erik (the Red) Bedard going against the Rockies’ Tyler Chatwood. After a scoreless first inning, the Astros got the scoreboard working in the second with a single by J. D. Martinez followed by a double from Chris Carter. A sac fly by Matt Dominguez allowed J. D. to score and put the Astros up 1 to 0.

The Rockies came back to tie the game with one run in the fourth inning on a Troy Tulowitzky solo homer. A run in the fifth off an RBI double by Tulo gave them the lead. The Astros tied the game back up in the sixth on a sacrifice fly by Jason Castro, scoring Brandon Barnes. The score stayed knotted up until the eight inning when J. D.’s single scored Marwin Gonzales, giving the Astros the lead for good, but they would need some insurance before it was all over.

A homer by Carlos Pena, his fourth, in the ninth was all the insurance the Astros needed but for good measure, Marwin Gonzalez sac bunted in Trevor Crowe and Brandon Barnes singled to center field, scoring Jimmy Paredes. Tulowitzky added his second home run of the night in the Rockies’ ninth but it was not enough to stop the Astros.

Bedard pitched six strong innings for another solid outing. Paul Clemens pitched an inning and 2/3 of solid relief and raised his record to 3 wins against 2 losses.

I’m not sure who the baseball gods are. Their names remain a mystery but with the success of the Astros on Wednesdays, I think it’s possible that Wotan or Wodan, the guy Wednesday is named for, the Norse god of war, battle, victory and death, but also wisdom, Shamanism, magic, poetry, prophecy, is probably the norse god of baseball too. The Astros are 6 and 3 on Wednesdays.

Tonight Lucas Harrell, who hopes to bounce back after his horrendous last start, goes up against the Rockies’ Juan Nicasio, in the final game of the 2 or 4 game series.

Rockies 2, Astros 1

Contributed by Reuben

The big feel-good story coming out of this one is definitely Jordan Lyles. Six days after tossing his best start of the season, a nice crisp 6 innings of 1-run ball vs. the KC Royals, he was even better today, going 7 full and yielding 6 hits and 1 run to the Rockies, who are arguably a much better-hitting club than KC.

Things looked pretty bad in the 1st, when Lyles opened the game by allowing a walk and a single, putting runners at the corners with no outs and Carlos Gonzalez and Troy Tulowitzki due up. However, unlike certain Astro pitchers in certain games this year, Jordan did a nice job of limiting the damage, striking out CarGoPants and, after Tulowitzki barely beat out an RBI infield single, getting a popout from Cuddyer and groundout from Helton (jeez, Todd Helton is still hanging on?) to end the threat.

“Tulo” (as the youngsters call him) came to the plate in the 3rd in an identical situation – 1 out, runners on first and third – but this time, Lyles got him to pop up weakly to shallow LF, where Ronny Cedeno did a nice job of darting into no-man’s land, catching the ball with his back to home plate (the play had huge “Astro Disaster” potential), turning and firing a strike to Carlos Corporan, who did a capable job of blocking the plate and tagging out the runner trying to score from third.

In the 4th, Lyles again looked like a prodigious prestidigitator (you’re welcome, rappers), escaping a bases-loaded, no-out situation by getting a swinging strikeout and a 4-6-3 double play. It’s important to note that for the first two seasons of his MLB career, Lyles had a tendency to cruise along for 3-4 innings and then all of the sudden lose it and give up a huge crooked number in one inning, effectively blowing the game. He did not do that today, and I don’t think it was mere luck. In fact, if you omit his horrible game against the Rangers, Lyles has a 2.57 ERA on the year, with 26 hits allowed in 28 IP. I think we may finally be seeing him starting to become the pitcher a lot of people thought he was going to be. Which would be nice.

In the 9th, Veras gave up a leadoff double to Tulo, who scored the winning run on a Cuddyer single (the run actually wouldn’t have scored were it not for a Wild Pitch – which Corporan should have blocked – as Cuddyer’s hit was just over the drawn-in infield, and the next two batters were retired). I can’t get too worked up about this. It’s unfortunate that they lost a very winnable game – the offense never got much of anything going – but it was still a good ballgame with a great big bright spot.

Athletics 6, Astros 2

W: Colon (5-2)
L: Keuchel (1-2)

It’s a funk all right. Creaky Colon continues to be the kind of player Luhnow covets but doesn’t have. He gave us another display of his value in shutting down the Astros for the third time this season. Colon scattered nine hits, all singles, and one for every 2013 loss the Astros have to Oakland.

Keuchel spit the bit again. He’s showing that he’s best imagined as a long reliever / lefty out of the bullpen but we knew that already. We knew that this team’s defense had some bright spots and some not-so-bright ones, but when they look bad, they make us look like those stupid special effects of dogs covering their eyes with their paws. There’s just no excuse for flinging the ball all over the lot, especially when you’ve got baserunners dead to rights.

Bright spots for today? Castro was 4 for 4. All singles, but the man is hitting the ball. Pena and Cedeno each had a pair of singles. Just like real life at the strip joint, you’re gonna need to bring more than that to the party, guys.

Their funk is not the best, but they love it just the same. The Astros must love it, because they’re on verse 36 of losing.