“Suck!”
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Manufacturing interest
Monday, June 20, 2011
Astros 3
Ryangers 8
W: Holland | L: Happ
I’ve said a lot regarding the way I feel about this whole “Lone Star Series” horseshit. Kicking it around more only gives it power but I will say that not only am I less interested in the match-up – simply because it’s interleague which I am not fond of – but I’m pissed off that they go out of their way to pump it up like it’s something to be interested in rather than what it is, a manufactured rivalry between two teams with no shared history. I don’t hate the Rangers, I just don’t care about them and that kills any passion required to make this anything other than a win or a loss.
Well, this one was a loss, as were 5 out of 6 in 2010 and 5 of 6 in 2009. Getting shitstomped by the Rangers is becoming a late-spring ritual, like tornados. In a nutshell, Happ didn’t pitch well, but then the defense didn’t play well either. The Rangers posted 7 runs through 3 – 5 earned – and chased Happ with 2 out in the 3rd.
Anuery did pitch well, keeping the Rangers off the board but Holland limited the Astros opportunities to claw back. They looked like they were figuring him out in the 2nd with 2 runs on 3 hits but that was all they could eek out until they got 1 more in the 8th. Melancon made that moot, giving up a massive solo blast to Moreland in the bottom of the inning to end all scoring.
Remember, there’s 5 MORE CHANCES to put these STINKIN’ RANGERS in their PLACE and bring the SILVER BOOT back to HOUSTON where it BELONGS!!!
Ugh.
Token Good Feeling
Monday, June 13, 2011
Larrywaynes 3
Astros 8
W: Wandy | L: Lowe
It’s tough to sweep a 4-game series. So I guess reason says it’s tough to get swept in a 4-game series but the Astros came pretty damn close in this wraparound – I was prepared to call it a reacharound if they lost but they didn’t even get that. With Wandy making his first start back from a sore elbow and the offense in a funk, things didn’t look too promising coming in to this one.
Watching Wandy serve a lead-off double to start the game dropped the shoulders a bit more and a couple of walks loaded the bases with 2 out but he made quick work striking out Mather to get out of the inning. From that point forward, he seemed to hit a groove.
In the 3rd, the Astros line-up woke up, highlighted by PENCE!!! reaching up for Lowe’s shoulder-high FB and sending it quickly into the RCF bullpen for a 2-run bomb. Pence had another monster night going 3-4 with a walk and driving in 4.
Wandy looked very good but rusty despite giving up just 2 hits through 6, perhaps more of a reflection of the layoff than any lingering effects. He walked 4 but Kd 5 and allowed no runs.
The game exploded in the bottom of the 6th with the Astros still up 2-0. Kepp led off with a single then Wallace blasted a double off of the bullpen wall in LCF that got Kepp to 3rd. After a CJ GO that froze the runners, Towles singled to LF to get Kepp home and chase Lowe from the game. PH Downs drilled agent Linebrink’s 2nd pitch down the LF line for a double that scored Wallace and made it 4-0 Astros with no one out. An IBB to Bourn loaded the bases for Barmes who stroked a deep sac fly to center that moved everybody up. 5-0 Astros. Pence then wasted no time, slapping Linebrink’s first pitch through the hole on the left side, plating Downs and Bourn and capping the 5-run outburst.
After adding one more run in the 7th and seeing Lopez and Escalona hold the Braves back, Mills gave Lyon the 9th. He started out looking good, throwing just 2 pitches for 2 outs but Matt Young doubled off of a LF douche and then Hinske walked. Jordan Schafer then took Lyon’s first pitch yard, way the fuck over the RCF bullpen for a 3-run shot. If there weren’t so many fucking Braves fans there, you might have heard *grumble-mumble-grumble*. You heard it in my living room anyway. But Lyon took care of Uggla to end the game with no more damage done.
Wallace was 3 for 3 with 2 walks and 2 runs. Boojwah ran for Pence in the 8th and played the 9th in right, showing no real ill-effects from the bum ankle. The Pirates come to town for a mid-week 3 that will probably break all-time attendance records. Read Ebby Calvin’s top-notch preview here.
Hey, Bud! Let’s party!
Wednesday, June 8th, 2011
Turds 1
Astros 4
W: Norris | L: Garcia | S: Melancon
As shitty a game as last night’s steamer was, tonight’s game was tasty. Sure, winning vs. losing makes it on it’s own but no, tonight’s game had great pitching, great defense and some timely hitting (in spots), things this team rarely seems to put together all in the same game. They did tonight and it was fun to watch.
The centerpiece, young Bud. His dominance of the shitbirds is documented but tonight, he really had it going. In non-typical fashion, Ks were down, walks were up, even as he seemed to have command of every pitch and despite putting men on in the 1st, 4th, 5th and 6th, his defense had his back with 3 double plays and he survived them all. He kept the ball down for the most part, daring the Turds to chase, roll over or take and it was pretty damned effective.
Out of the gate, the line-up was a bit more typical. Lead-off doubles in the first 2 innings led to nothing and when Kepp singled with 1 down in the 3rd, you could almost mail in the result. But Hunter has fancy plans, and pants to match! His 10-pitch AB was a thing of beauty, ending with a crushing drive to center, way the fuck over the head of apprentice hot-dog Colby Assmunch and landing at the top of Tal’s Hill. By the time Rasmus and his sherpa retrieved the ball and got it in, Pence was adjusting his cufflinks standing on 3rd. A GO by Lee plated Pence and it was 2-0 after 3.
On to the Astros 5th, Boojwah decided to create some excitement. A sharp grounder down the third base line that in the 1st went for a double, was nicely snagged by 3B Carpenter but his throw was just late. Booj promptly stole 2nd and when Kepp lined out to right, the jets fired and he slid into 3rd ahead of the throw. Pence’s ground out failed to plate Booj but after a walk to Lee, Michaels singled to left to give the boys a 3-0 lead.
Did I mention the defense? Kepp and Barmes were plenty busy tonight and steak dinners should be on Bud’s platinum card. Defensive plays have to be seen and not described but one play in particular stands out and really added to the suspense of what we were watching. Top of the 7th and the 2-3-4 hitters for the Jakes are up. Bud is dealing to the tune of 0 0 0. John Jay poked a flare to the left side of the infield that to my eye, looked to be the one that would break it up. But Barmes launched himself to his right and snagged the shit out of the ball, keeping Bud’s flirt with glory intact. After a deep fly ball to CF got Pooholes out, Lance Berkman strolled to the plate.
I’m trying to think of what to write here…I want to say some things but then I don’t want to make this about Berkman, that cocksucker. I’d rather make this about Hunter ‘cuz the kid came a couple of scant inches from saving this thing. He tracked Twinkie’s deep drive to right field and timed his leap at the wall perhaps just a bit too soon as the ball dropped just beyond his glove.
No-no no more. Shut out gone. But Bud wasn’t shaken at all. He finished the 7th with a Rasmus infield pop then went on to retire the side in the 8th with just one more walk. Melancon closed it out with a 1-2-3 9th for his 6th save.
Great game! Big effort by all involved and it showed. Let’s hope they do it again tomorrow night and send the Jakes home with a beefy shitburger!!
“Sure [they can tie the game]. Will they? Nah.”
Monday, May 23, 2011
Dojers 3
Astros 4
W: Fulchino | L: Jansen
Who doesn’t love these kinds of games? Quality pitching from both sides. Tied at 1 late until the last gasps from your starter yields 2 and expectations are low for a late-inning surge, but the team comes through on their last chance. We may not get to see many like these this season – hell, wins period – but they sure are fun to watch.
For the most part, I only got to see the fun stuff at the end. I won’t bore you with things you’re likely not to care about but there was a hockey game going on tonight, too. The Dojers scored first on a solo dinger by Matt Kemp in the 2nd but the Astros answered in the 3rd when a 4-for-4 Bill Hall doubled off of starter Kershaw, then scored on a single by Q.
Norris held it together until with 2 outs the 7th, he gave up a ground-rule double to right. After intentionally walking Mitchell, he grooved an 0-2 FB to Ethier who smoked it past the mound to CF. Bourn uncharacteristically left the ball behind on his charge and had to race back to get it as the 2 runners on base crossed the plate.
FF to the bottom of the 9th, still 3-1 and Jansen on the bump. CJ K’d then newly-minted-badass Bill Hall singled. PH Downs also K’d mightily and it was not looking good for a comeback. PH Angel Sanchez did a fine job of working Jansen hard on a 11-pitch walk to bring up Bourn with 2 on. Both runners moved up on indifference, which ended up fucking the Dojers when Bourn slapped a screamer down the RF line that tied the game and left him standing on 2nd.
Jansen was seriously rattled at this point but Mattingly left him in and he promptly plunked Barmes. Up strolled Pence in another situation to be a hero and boy did he come through. A broken-bat single over the left side of the infield had Bourn gunning for home. The throw from LF was on target and on time, but for a sweet half-slide by Bourn that went wide toward the backstop but he got his hand down and slapped the plate before a tag could be laid. He did his best Willie “Mays” Hayes super-clap before chest-bumping Hall while the rest of the crew bounded out and started jumping around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots.
So was I…so was I.
Swing and a Miss
Monday, May 16. 2011
Astros 2
Braves 3
W: Hanson | L: Abad | S: Kimbrel
HR: Downs
In my sometimes twisted imagination, I visualize Jim Crane slapping his forehead and asking, “what the hell did I buy?”
For the first game after the official announcement of the sale of the Astros, the Braves welcomed them in to their cavernous park filled with seats but no people. Fresh off a home series loss to the fucking Mets and Brett Myers on the hill, perhaps the idea of the new regime would help spark the team. Perhaps not.
I can’t figure out if Myers pitched well or was just lucky. He did actually pitch well but had to survive bases-loaded situations in each of the first 2 innings and was lucky to come out of them without giving up a run.
Hanson, on the other hand, had the Astros wishing for some luck as his changing speeds and pinpoint (Braves-style) location left them staring agape or swinging wildly.
Despite giving up only 3 hits and fanning 10 through 7, the line-drive solo HR by Downs in the 5th had Hanson behind just as Myers was hitting a groove. The groove didn’t last long though, as the early innings of heavy work seemed to catch up to him in the 6th. 2 singles to start the frame turned into 2 runs when all was said and done and the thin Astros lead was gone.
The boys got one back to tie it again in the 7th after Lee reached on an error and Mighty Matt Downs plated him with a double to the gap in LCF. But as we all are keenly aware of, handing a game to this bullpen is like handing your car keys to your teenage son.
“Dad, I had a little accident. Nothing horrible but I need a ride home.”
Anyway, Abad coughed up the go-ahead run rather quickly in the bottom of the 7th and the Braves bullpen, including their newest redneck closer made the lead stick.
One more on this “excuse me” 2-gamer tomorrow afternoon at 12:05 CDT.