contributed by NeilT

Heigh ho, heigh ho
It’s off to work we go
Heigh ho, heigh ho . . .

“Heigh Ho”

Snow White

Frank Churchill (music) and Larry Morey (lyrics)

The Astros came into Anaheim, that damned Disney town, on their first win streak of the season. Everyone in Anaheim was still in black for Annette. The ageless Evil Queen Grimhilde, the one who’d mirror mirrored us from StL, and his 24 dwarves are supposed to be the best team in baseball, right?

I’m gonna be a mighty king, so enemies beware!
I’m gonna be the mane event
Like no king was before
I’m brushing up on looking down
I’m working on my roar
Oh, I just can’t wait to be king!

“I Just Can’t wait to be King”

The Lion King

Sir Elton John

The Astros are not the best team in baseball. They’re all about potential that’s further than happy ever after, but sooner than never never. But this team, this team right here, is supposed to be terrible. Historically terrible. The very Armageddon of baseball as we know it. That’s why nights like tonight, a series opening shut-out of the better team following a series win from Our Natural Rivals, the Scurvies, are so completely satisfying.

Someday my prince will come
Someday we’ll meet again
And away to his castle we’ll go
To be happy forever I know

“Someday My Prince Will Come”

Snow White and the Seven Dwarves

Larry Morey (lyrics) & Frank Churchill (music)

The big story tonight was Bud Norris, 7 innings of shut-out ball, 3 hits, 2 bb, 5 SO. It started ugly, with a HBP for the first batter, but that was followed by a timely and completely satisfying Cruella de Trout GIDP. Grimhilde walked, but Gaston k’d. Norris had now made it through the toughest 2-4 in baseball.

It was not really an easy inning–many pitches were thrown—but it seemed easy because of the top of the first. Altuve led off with a single, Maxwell doubled scoring Altuve (and was thrown out at third because of boneheaded baserunning. If his baserunning were a dwarf it would be Dopey.) Castro and Carter singled, Pena walked to load the bases, Martinez had the only K of the inning, and Ankiel drove in two runs with a single to right field.

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-A-Dee-A
My oh my what a wonderful day
Plenty of sunshine headed my way
Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah Zip-A-Dee-A

Mister blue bird’s on my shoulder
It’s the truth
It’s actual
Everything is satisfactual

“Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah”

Song of the South

Music by Allie Wrubel, Lyrics by Ray Gilbert

Norris’s 2d took 6 pitches. Six. Pitches. Brandon Harris got the Angels first hit in the third after Jimenez grounded out, but was followed by two Ks. Meanwhile the offense kept grinding. Maxwell homered in the second. Ankiel doubled in Pena in the third. By the end of the third, the Disney’s Hanson Brother had thrown 87,000 pitches.

It was now 10:15 in real, not Disney, time, and I fell asleep.

We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig in our mine the whole day through
To dig dig dig dig dig dig dig is what we really like to do
It ain’t no trick to get rich quick
If you dig dig dig with a shovel or a pick
In a mine! In a mine! In a mine! In a mine!

“Heigh Ho”

Snow White

Frank Churchill (music) and Larry Morey (lyrics)

But that’s really the story, isn’t it? The Hanson finished the 5th, so the Disneys got more than they should have from him. Marwin Gonzalez was caught stealing in the 6th—of course he was, I had him in my fantasy lineup. Martinez and Dominguez walked in the 8th, which was better than Martinez and Dominguez striking out in the 8th, and hopefully a nice sign of a sea change. Probably not. The Astros only struck out 7 times in the game, though. The Disneys struck out 6.

Altuve led off innings three times on base. What else could you ask from your lead off? He’s hitting .364, as if I need to tell you. Maxwell had a double and a homer. There were 10 hits total, with only Martinez, Dominguez, and Gonzalez hitless, and Dominguez had two walks.

Defense was sparkling, with strong play by Dominguez, Gonzalez, and Maxwell. And the pitching just got it done. Armbriz pitched a scoreless 8th, but gave up a single to Grimhilde to start the 9th. Wright got Gaston on a force out to second, and Cruz got the final two outs on the night’s second double play.

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you.

“When You Wish Upon a Star”

Pinocchio

Ned Washington and Leigh Harline

Astros win 8-3, take 2 of 3 in series with Marines

W: B. Peacock (1-1)
L: B. Beavan (0-1)

HR: HOU – R. Ankiel (2), C. Carter (3), M. Gonzalez (2) SEA – K. Shoppach (1), F. Gutierrez (3)

contributed by Sphinx Drummond

There is no proper way to watch the Astros in Austin and the radio feed is absent more than present. It makes it hard to be an Astro fan, you have to make quite an effort to follow this team in it’s own time zone, add two time zones and it takes twice as much effort (or maybe three times as much). One thing that eases the burden is winning. The Astros brought their lumber along for the second night in a row and pounded out 16 hits in route to an 8 – 3 victory over the Seattle sponge gums.

Chris Carter has finally started swinging his hitting stick with authority, hitting his second home in as many nights, adding two more hits and total of 2 RBIs and 2 runs scored. Carlos Pena has started hitting too, getting three hits on the night. Marwin Gonzales hit his second homer of the year, hell even Rick Ankiel got into the action with his second home run of the season–also just his second hit of the year. Brett Wallace didn’t play.

Brad Peacock held tough for 5 innings, giving up 3 runs in picking up his first win as an Astro. Kuechel, Cruz, and Veras were lockdown in relief, surrendering nothing. This team has looked good in the three games it has won. Real good. Right now the team is still looking pretty bad overall and is on pace to end up 54 and 108, but who knows, it’s a long season and the team is more likely to improve than regress as the season progresses. When you’re in the basement, the elevator only goes up.

Astros 16, Mariners 9

W: Clemens (1-0)
L: Maurer (0-2)

Contributed by Reuben

Since Tuesday’s Astros game didn’t start until 10:10pm, my time, and my wife is fighting a cold, I decided to just watch the game in bed. I often don’t go to sleep until 12 or later anyway, but evidently I was more tired than I thought, because I don’t even really remember the 1st inning, much less the rest of the game.… I’m guessing the Astros didn’t get a hit until the 6th or 7th, and probably kept it close for a while – maybe they were only down 2-0 until Seattle scored 5 in the 6th, effectively ending the game. But that’s nothing new, and therefore not even worth looking up; I’m sure everyone’s sick of reading about the last loss. So instead I’ll tell you about this crazy dream I had.

Last night I had the strangest dream
I’ve ever had before.
I dreamed the Astros all agreed
to score and score and score.

In my dream – I think it was Wednesday morning, 3 AM when I was having this dream – the Astros didn’t just strike out again and again, and struggle to even get the ball out of the infield, and they didn’t make a lot of stupid mistakes on defense or on the bases. They didn’t wait until the 2nd half of the game to put any runs on the board… nope, they just came right out of the gate, swinging the big bats. Altuve led off with a hit, ok, fine, but then it really started getting weird: Maxwell got a hit, Castro (who, oddly, was batting third in my dream) got a hit, then Carlos Pena not only didn’t strike out, he actually almost hit a grand slam, settling for a 2-run double, and then it all kind of muddles together, the way dreams do – they just kept on scoring. JD Martinez hit a HR, Carter had two HR and four hits! Even Marwin hit a HR! Like I said: a really bizarre dream.

Funnily enough, every Brett Wallace AB in my dream was like a recurring nightmare; he just kept striking out over and over. But the rest of the team, it was like the balls were metal, and they had magnets in the barrels of their bats. JD Martinez had a crazy RBI single on a slider that broke way down and away; his bat somehow just went right to where the ball was going and hit a line drive into left field. Also, I must’ve been thinking too much about the tandem starters thing Luhnow’s doing with the minor league pitchers, because in my dream the Astros had two SP each throw 4 innings.

And the people in the visitor’s clubhouse
Were dancing round and round
And bats and gloves and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground

Read commentary on the actual game in the GameZone thread. I’m sure they made it entertaining despite having to endure another pitiful loss full of strikeouts and goose eggs.

Athletics 9, Astros 3

W: Anderson (1-1)
L: Harrell (0-2)

In a way, we have a similar road, the Astros and I. You see, I’ve got opportunities. I just got handed a chance to do something I’ve wanted to do for years, a chance that isn’t really going to change my life the way I thought it would if it’d happened back when I first wanted it, but it could definitely make the fringes of my existence a lot more interesting.

This’ll be a real gutcheck. Am I up to this challenge? Do I have what it takes to seize this one, or am I only partway good enough, smart enough, resourceful enough? I am determined though, a determination I had all those years ago but now maybe I’ve got a better sense of awareness and pacing.

The Astros? Well, I guess they’ve got some opportunities too. Are they up to the task? Everybody says no. Even the most wildeyed Media Guide-thumping True Believers out there know that the absolute pie in the sky ceiling of possibility is to approach mediocrity. This team isn’t going to be the Miracle Mets. This team isn’t going to surprise everyone even like last year’s Pirates. This team will be extraordinarily lucky to crack 65 wins, and if they did it would only be by scratching and clawing as if they were buried in a coffin, six feet under. That is not an entirely unreasonable characterization of where they are, and what it’s going to be like when they finally do pop out of the dank wormy earth that surrounds their box.

It’s too early to slip into the same ruts we were in last season, explaining the grind of futility in some colorful way. There are some spots on this team that have potential. Not all of it, to be sure, but enough of the players are battling to find themselves and their place. They were well-regarded prospects at one time, and though they might have been tested and found wanting by others they could still align their talent and opportunities into something more than they are right now. As a team? No. Way too many holes to really compete for an entire season. In places? Sure. Matt Dominguez, Chris Carter, Brandon Barnes, Jason Castro, Lucas Harrell, Josh Fields, Brad Peacock, Jose Altuve – these guys can all play, and some of them might turn that Mighty Corner and be the building blocks for the future.

Or they might all fail into sub-mediocrity. We ought to get those answers this year.

Rock and Roll means well, but it can’t help tellin’ young boys lies.

***

It didn’t take long for Sunday’s game to get away. Harrell didn’t have his control, and if a groundball pitcher doesn’t have that he doesn’t have anything. The A’s were able to wait for him to throw over the plate and then they slapped him around. Crisp had two hits, including a home run; Lowrie had three hits, including a two-run homer; Chris Young had a three-run shot. Maxwell scratched out a couple of hits, Carter had a booming triple to left-center in response. Fourteen strikeouts for Houston today, against pitchers who really don’t strike out that many. This was Houston’s fifth straight loss, and a tough way to end a homestand before a West Coast swing.

A’s 6, Astros 3

contributed by Mr. Happy

One of my favorite big league managers of all time was the late Earl Weaver, who once said that the secret to winning baseball games was pitching and three run homers. Tonight, the Astros got starting pitching and one three run dinger, but it proved not to be enough, as the home nine dropped their fourth in a row to the ageless Bartolo Colon and the Oakland Athletics 6-3. The problem for the Astros tonight was one Ronny Cedeno, whose critical error in the sixth inning allowed three unearned runs score in a four run uprising that made a loser out of Bud Norris, whose gutsy 122 pitch performance deserved better. Ronny Cedeno will remind no one of the Orioles’ rangy Mark Belanger at SS.

The bats came to life a little tonight against Colon, highlighted by Jason Castro’s three run oppo that put the Astros out in front 3-1. The Astros garnered eight hits against Colon in his six frames. However, Colon, a wily veteran who doesn’t walk anyone, wormed his way off of the ropes by using his famous sinker to induce an inning-ending twin killing in his last frame, one of his ten groundball outs. Colon doesn’t strike out too many hitters anymore, but, at 39, he remains a serviceable big league starter. The A’s shut-down bully slammed the door on the Astros, who managed eight hits with only four (yes, four) strikeouts tonight.

Some observations are in order. I applauded Bo Porter in the Game Zone for sticking with Norris at a point where the pitch count priests were apoplectic. A few of us questioned the decision to play Ronny Cedeno at SS against a right-hander, particularly since, in all likelihood, Cedeno will start again today against the portsider. The only explanation must have been to give Jose Altuve a night off in the field. I have been less than impressed with Cedeno since his late signing at the end of spring training.

Poor Chris Carter, who accounted for half of the Astros’ strikeouts and who didn’t hit the ball out of the infield, is lost right now. For his sake, Bo Porter must give him today off to settle down. J.D. Martinez and Brandon Barnes can man the corners today, particularly against the lefty. Dallas Keuchel threw a serviceable three innings, surrendering only Seth Smith’s meaningless opposite field homerun. Keuchel was in a serious corners jam in the eighth inning when he induced a nifty 1-6-3 off the bat of the Sasquatch (Josh Reddick, per Austro) to save the save opportunity for Grant Balfour. Ron Brand owes Keuchel a cold one for that.

Lucas Harrell goes today against a tough lefty, Brett Anderson, as the Astros try to avoid a series brooming by the visitors. Come check us out in the Game Zone. We don’t bite. Unless you say something idiotic.

Athletics 7
Astros 3

contributed by NeilT

Kris and I are in Austin for the third Foodways Texas Symposium. It’s our second, and this year the topic is barbecue. The first night Aaron Franklin served brisket and pulled pork. Friday night Jim Goode and Brian Caswell barbecued crabs, shrimp and oysters. It was spectacular. I was full, and a little beered up, and didn’t want to write a recap, so I let Oakland’s most famous daughter write it.

The game, the game was not. Peacock was doing something and standing is one doing something and standing. Someone was doing something and was standing. Coco Crisp led with a homer. Peacock walked two more in the first inning, gave up a single and a walk in the second, got through the third and the fourth, gave up a one-out double in the fifth, and then was pulled for Xavier Cedeno. I don’t know why. After was a seven-run inning, with a Marwin Gonzalez chop-off bases-loaded error, 13 batters, 6 hits, and 4 walks. Two pitchers after Peacock, Xavier Cedeno who achieved infinity with three earned runs and no outs, and Rhiner Cruz. Pigeons on the grass alas.

Meanwhile the Astros struck out thrice in the first, twice in the second, twice in the third, and once in the fifth. They struck out five more times. Wallace struck out three times on four at-bats, Ankiel struck out every plate appearance, so seven of the thirteen strike outs were split between Wallace and Ankiel, but rose is a rose is a rose. To strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out is to strike out. When in France one must adapt oneself to the smell of a urinal.

These unifoms look good, but you can either buy clothes or buy pictures. It’s that simple.

Cruz gave up two more singles in the 6th, but Donaldson grounded into a double play, Altuve to Wallace. Wright, Armbriz, and Veras finished the 7th, 8th, and 9th, with one walk in the 9th The offense picked up too. Gonzalez doubled in the 6th and scored on an Altuve single. Maxwell got his third extra base hit in the 7th and scored on a Dominguez single. Gonzalez singled, Altuve walked, and then with the bases loaded Wallace managed not to strike out with a fly ball out to center. For Wallace, there is no there there.

In the 9th Castro doubled, was moved to third on a second Dominguez double, and scored on a Gonzalez ground-out. I have been rich and I have been poor. It’s better to be rich.

Do not let the strike-outs worry you. One does not get better but different and older and that is a pleasure. It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing. A vegetable garden in the beginning looks so promising and then after all little by litle it grows nothing but vegetables, nothing, nothing but vegetables.