In a move that surprises no one except maybe Astros Fans hiding in a cave for the last three months, the Houston Astros traded away one time ACE Roy Oswalt to the Philadelphia Phillies for much more than a horse or a bulldozer. Indeed what Houston got back in return was J.A. Happ, a tall left handed pitcher who has basically been a promising ready for the majors #2 or #3 starter. Haap experienced elbow problems this year setting him back several months, however, Astro fans are used to this sort of thing (*cough* Paulino *cough* Norris *cough*), so no worries.
One would think though that if you’re talking ACE (even former ACE), you would get back a boat load of prospects, dinero, flowers, wine, dinner for two at Chili’s and a hat. Nope, besides Haap, it seemed like for all the world GM Ed Wade was a living example of what concourse fans believe him to be: a horse trader with no horse sense. What Wade got back along with Haap was not 18 year old first base phenom Singleton, the rumored best prospect to expect in the deal, but shortstop Jonathan Villar who might be good or might be a JAG depending on what concourse fan you talk to and then the surprise get of Gose, a speedy outfielder with top of the scale defensive skills and no bat. A poor imitation of Michael Bourn so it seemed. That got the juices flowing in the Astros fandom, at least all those who decided to care again for the time being.
Before the masses could reach the MMPUS with the torches, lynch rope, tar, and feathers though, Ed Wade flipped Gose to the Blue Jays for pudgy offensive, almost ready, okay if you have to go ahead and bring him up now, first baseman Brett Wallace. The kid with Earl Campbell thighs and lightning quick left handed bat made everyone stop in their tracks and question everything they thought holy and righteous in their world beliefs. Ed Wade made a great trade? Huh? Are you kidding me. That pretty much put the wheels in motion to find something, anything that could possibly be wrong with Brett Wallace, projected to be a better bat in the majors than take-the-mlb-world-by-storm Buster Posey. Other than the aforementioned thigh muscle mass, Wallace was deemed a first baseman with no elegance defensively. He was also derided for not walking to first base more, nevermind he runs to first pretty well on singles, doubles, and triples. Perhaps he can walk to first on his homerun trots to satisfy the fanta-geeks in all of us. Next came the coup-de-grassy knoll: the kid has now been traded four times.
*DING, DING, DING*
The world was safe again, Ed Wade is a GM with no appreciable skills to handle the job any better than… well… me! Oh, yeah, before we leave this report: Roy Oswalt failed to become the winningest pitcher in the history of the beloved Houston Astros, so if he plans to capture that record, then sometimes in the distance future maybe as a reliever he can come back to the Astros and bird-dog a win.
