By Craig Elliott

The Astros just took three of four from the Pirates, including a 13-1 laugher on Sunday that helped Jason Hirsh to his second win. Houston is 3.5 games behind Cincinnati now, with a little more than a month left to play. Most of the National League is still in the wildcard chase too.

Now we get to see the Big Three of the rotation pitching at home, in the playoff chase. And speaking of playoff chase, it’s time to knock Milwaukee out of it. The Brewers just got swept in a four-game series with the Fish, so the road trip isn’t going well for them. Milwaukee is a game behind Houston in the wildcard race, and five games behind Cincinnati.

When:
Tuesday, August 29, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, August 30, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Thursday, August 31, 7:05 p.m. CDT – FSN

MLB Extra Innings – All three games will be on the Fox Southwest broadcast. After that long-ass road trip, it’s about time for some Yvette.

Where: MMPUS

Tuesday’s giveaway is the Clemens road T-shirt, so get there early. And on Wednesday they’re giving away the scratch tickets, where you could win things like a pinch on the ass from Milo, or your own chance to strike out Morgan Ensberg on three pitches. Also, watch for the upcoming MoBerg Night, when NASA rocketry scientists will be on hand to re-enact moonshots from third base to first.

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By Craig Elliott

The Astros got a nasty cockpunch from the Reds, though a nice comeback Wednesday helped ease the swelling a little. Ouch. Meanwhile, the wildcard race is slipping away, despite every line-up Garner can pull out of his ass. Maybe a four-game set with the Pirates will help set things right.

The Pirates just took two of three in Atlanta. But they still have the worst record in the National League, and only Kansas City is worse in the majors. Jason Bay is leading the team in pretty much everything, including homers with 28.

When:
Thursday, August 24, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Friday, August 25, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Saturday, August 26, 6:05 p.m. CDT – FSN
Sunday, August 27, 12:35 p.m. CDT – FSN

MLB Extra Innings – Saturday’s game will be on Fox Southwest. All the others will be on the Pittsburgh feed.

Where: PNC Park

There will be fireworks after each of the first three games. And then during Sunday’s game, the Pirates will reveal the name of their new mascot. Here are a few suggestions:

* Pegleg Milo
* Derek Bell
* Ghost of Nancy Wilson
* Dreamboat Manny

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By Craig Elliott

The Astros worked a split in Milwaukee, and now travel to Cincinnati for some overdue business with the Dickities. This is the last trip to Cincy this year, and the next-to-last series with the pissant Redlegs. At five games back, the Astros need to make up some ground in this series.

On the other hand, a beatdown from the Reds now would officially make us their bitch for the season. And that’s no fun in a city where they casually toss around the word “cornhole.”

The Dickities just won a series against the Pirates, and earlier in the week they lost two of three to the Co-Ards. They’ve somehow hung on to the wildcard lead, despite going 9-10 so far in August. There must be a vacuum of Suck that’s keeping the rest of the NL from reaching the Reds.

When:
Monday, August 21, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSN
Tuesday, August 22, 6:10 p.m. CDT – FSN
Wednesday, August 23, 11:35 a.m. CDT – FSN

MLB Extra Innings – The first two games will be on the Skyline feed, and the Wednesday game will be on Fox Southwest. I strongly recommend eating BEFORE the Monday and Tuesday games, so you don’t lose your appetite with all the commercials for shitty chili.

Where: Great American Ballpark

The Reds are 33-32 at home this year, while the Astros are 25-34 on the road. The Astros also lost two of three on the last trip to Cincinnati, and are 2-7 against the Reds this season.

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