Growing Up In Public; Astros @ Nats Series Preview
Man, talk about your two trains running, or ships in the night. This is two clubs more or less headed in the same direction, but one of them is farther along in the trip and is going a lot faster than the other.
I’ve got two daughters. In my house, the doorway to the kitchen has pencil marks on each side from about three feet off the ground all the way to a few inches under six feet, all with dates scrawled next to them. Maybe you have something similar, if you’ve got kids.
Sometimes I’ll take a few minutes and look at those marks, compare them, try to draw some kind of math while the emotional side of me remembers what they were like when those individual marks were made. It’s a tangible path to an intangible journey, one with an infinite number of side trips along the way that expose the dimensions of life spent together and, inevitably, less together.
The Astros draw Washington’s #1-4 pitchers for their four game funfest. This week is the beginning of the real measure of this team. It may well resemble one of those high school Driver’s Ed movies by midweek, but the point, just like in those flicks, is that you gotta keep moving.
Monday, April 16
6:05 CT, Nationals Park
Kyle Weiland (0-1, 7.20) v. Stephen Strasburg (1-0, 0.69)
Weiland had a rough start against Atlanta his first time out, on 50th Anniversary Night. Good fastball, no command, iffy control and The Return of Larry Wayne did him in.
Strasburg, well, he’s The Second Coming and He’s Invincible and We Have The Technology and all that. I’m surprised they’re even playing this one, but I guess those people buying tickets want to actually see this one play out. Downs and Lee are 1 for 1 against Strasburg, and Lee has 1 RBI.
Tuesday, April 17
6:05 CT, Nationals Park
Wandy Rodriguez (0-1, 2.38 ) v. Gio Gonzalez (0-0, 3.38)
Wandy hasn’t been all that great early on, but neither has his team since they’ve choked up four errors in each of his two starts. Mark DeRosa has 2 HRs, 7 RBI and hits .360 vs. him. LaRoche hits .350 and Zimmerman hits .400 as well.
Gio is the real deal, a solid #2 in the making. Lowrie is 3 for 8 with one dinger against him.
Wednesday, April 18
6:05 CT, Nationals Park
Lucas Harrell (1-0, 3.27) v. Jordan Zimmermann (0-1, 1.29)
Harrell was inconsistent in his second start and got slapped around by the Marlins. If he can find some consistency he’s got the stuff but isn’t that the case with the Astros staff? Welcome to the meat grinder, boys.
Damn, the Nats have a strong staff. Lee is 3 for 6 against Zimmy.
Thursday, April 19
6:05 CT, Nationals Park
Bud Norris (0-0, 4.15) v. Edwin Jackson (1-0, 2.57)
Bud’s 1-0 with a 2.63 ERA in two career starts against Washington. Werth is 2 for 11, but Zimmerman hits .429 with 1 HR against Norris.
Jackson is a quality starter, and he’s the #4 guy for Washington. Lee is 3 for 8, Lowrie 2 for 4 against him.
Promotions
Nothing. Nothing at all. You’ll get nothing and you’ll like it.
Injuries
Astros:
Sergio Escalona is out for the season. Schreefer had some dizziness and is day to day, man.
Nats:
Wang strained his hamstring, he’ll be back later this month.
Storen’s out after surgery to remove bone chips. He’s due back around July.
Morse is out until June or July with an aggravated lat strain.
Marrero is on the 60-day list with a torn hammy and might be back in July.
Kimball had right shoulder surgery and might be back in July.
What To Watch For
Can the Astros scratch out a hit? Will any of these games be competitive? How deflating would it be to go 0-4? More importantly, what will this team learn that they can use going forward?
You Train By Shadow Boxing
Marlins 5, Astros 4 (11)
WP: Gaudin
LP: Carpenter
I know it’s early, I know, and early or not these games count. It’s tough to lose one when you’ve battled back to take a lead late, but as frustrating as this is, the 2012 Astros are a lot more interesting to watch than the 2011 vintage was.
Blue skies above
and sun on your arms
strength in your stride
And hope in those squeaky clean eyes
Maybe this is a mirage; maybe it’ll all come crashing down to sub-mediocrity soon and casual fans will drift away to other things. Perhaps. I want to view this as something else though, as real growth for a team that was so shitty last year that getting close to the pack of all the other teams feels like progress.
They battled hard the whole series and had numerous chances to win every game. Miami isn’t going to win any championships this year, but they’re decent and the Astros were right there with them the whole way, taking it to them when last year’s club would’ve folded the tent early.
Happ pitched well, going six innings while scattering five hits and giving up two runs. Martinez had two doubles, Bogusevic finally got a couple of hits, as did CJ and The Altuve, who drove in a pair.
The word is that the hunted one is out there on his own
You’re alone for maybe the last time
And you breathe for a long time
Then you howl like a wolf in a trap
And you daren’t look behind
The 4-2 Good Guy lead was erased in the eighth, when Wright, who was brought in to turn Bonifacio around, walked him instead. The mighty blast off of Ramirez’ bat to deepest center field tied it up. In the 11th, Carpenter gave up a single to Buck. After a sac bunt Reyes was walked and a wild pitch moved both runners into scoring position with one out. Bonifacio was walked to load them up, and Ramirez hit the game-winner past the drawn-in outfielders in right.
The yang of today’s performance was a mixture of coltish stumbling and rolls of the dice. A missed called strike three that led to a run and some undeniable hitting by the Marlins combined with a brutal 0 for 9 with runners in scoring position and some weak defense from barely-not-a-rookie Castro, who is not having the early season he’d like to have. I still think they’re going to grow out of most of this and I’m looking forward to watching that. Looking forward to watching them learn how to fight once they’re in the pack, and not trying to catch up to it.
You fall to the ground
like a leaf from a tree
And look up one time
at that vast blue sky
Scream out aloud as they shoot you down
We’re midwives to history. Put on your bloody robes.
Would you like some cream and sugar too?
Miami Fish 5|Houston Welcome Home Mats 4
Super Mario Park
The visiting Houston Astros brought house warming gifts to the Miami Marlins tonight, giving them four runs in the first three innings. Playing the part of the good guest that Ms. Manners would be proud of was Lucas Harrel, who resembled anything but a starting pitcher on this night. He may as well serve tea and crumpets all night long the way he was making the Marlins feel so warm and fuzzy with all the nice-nice he was serving up. Oh, he had help from his mates out in the field, but all in all, Harrel was just what the Marlins needed to fluff the pillows and prop their feet up in their nice new home. Just a second…
GOOD LORD! WHAT A HIDEOUS MONSTROUSITY OUT IN LEFT FIELD!!! NOOOO, SERIOUSLY?!?! COME ON!!!
Okay, now back to your recap. The good guys spotted themselves a one run lead early in the first inning, looking for all the world like a team wanting to compete tonight. The Harrel took over and that was that. So it was up to the bullpen to play the role of rude guest tonight and shut down the Fish while the team tried to climb back into this game. It’s becoming a staple of this team to fight, fight, fight to get back into games that seem lost causes and that’s good to see. Perhaps too young to know better is at work here, but honestly, the best way to compete is to score enough runs and prevent the other team from scoring any (or at minimum fewer than you). That means good pitching and good defense… so the young Astros have to work on that part, mkay. Wait a moment….
I’M SERIOUS, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!?! ANYONE? THIS IS PURE INSANITY…
In the end, the Astros tied the game at four to reward the bullpen for doing good work on a seriously huge blast by Miami native J.D. Martinez. Way to go kid! Of course, it would be all for naught in the eleventh inning when Brandon Lyon came in and promptly brought out the nescafe and sweet bread to end the night for the local nine. He gave up the winning run on two straight hits and sent everyone home happy. Ah, what a beautiful scene of bliss for the home team and fans. Good night everyone, drive home safely!
LOOK, YOU’VE GONE AND BLINDED OZZIE WITH THIS.. THIS… WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!?! I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY MIAMI!!!
Carmen Miranda Ain’t Got Shit On Me: Astros @ Marlins Series Preview
Lick Away
Much of the focus in the pre-season and afterwards with regards to the newly geographically specific Miami Marlins has been on their garish spaceship of a stadium. Built with an amount of debt and tackiness that would doubly impress Donald Trump, it stands as the one bit of personality that the previous, generically Floridian Marlins lacked. So they’ve got that.
And it couldn’t have happened to a classier city. My one visit to that part of South Florida came around the time that Grand Theft Auto: Vice City was out, and it was truly surreal to ride around in a cab, through what were certainly the levels I’d been playing the night before. I’m pretty sure there are still some poorly-AI’ed police cars chasing me down there for all those pedestrians I smushed.
The other Marlins storyline has been their titanic jackass of a manager Ozzie Guillen. One of these days, some maniac is going to assemble a team with Carlos Zambrano, Milton Bradley, Luke Scott, Kyle Farnsworth, Bryce Harper, Manny Ramirez, and A.J. Pierzinski on it, with Ozzie managing, Ugeuth Urbina as pitching coach and Barry Bonds as hitting coach. Then they’ll sign lil Timmy Lincecum as a chew toy.
This whole season feels like the final week of classes to me. Everyone’s really busy getting ready for that next step, and as much as you’ve been told that the Real World is better than College Life, you want to believe in your heart that an eternal stay in the college town of your choice would actually be a positive, affirming life decision. Now, I’m not saying that the AL represents the Real World. If anything, the Astros are graduating from a pensioned position at a Fortune 500 company to work as a fucking fry cook at the Dairy Queen in Nacogdoches. But it feels like the end of school, because A) you want to believe that the Next Step won’t be so bad, and you wish you could just stay even though you can’t and B) you’re getting to see all of these people for the final time. Good, bad and ugly, you’re never going to really see them except at the rare reunions or tailgates or whatever, and it won’t be the same. And it fucking sucks. Even that crazy guy that you just met last week, the one with the jumping slot machine fish in center field, you know there’s not anybody like that Out There.
Friday, April 13th
6:10 CT, Krusty’s Fun World Stadium
Lucas Harrell (1-0, 0.00) v. Ricky Nolasco (1-0, 3.68)
Harrell had an impressive outing in his first Astros start, beating an old man and not giving up any earned runs. He’s never faced the Fish before. Here’s hoping he makes some sushi. FISH PUNS!
Ricky Nolasco dresses like a member of Color Me Badd’s road crew. He’s a terrible person because of this single fact. Chris Johnson is 3 for 7 against him, and Schreefer has a triple. Everyone else is pretty meh against him. Slap that sorry-ass excuse for a goatee off his face and let’s get to him early. The Marlins relievers are having seizures in the bullpen due to the proximity to the home run sculpture thing.
Saturday, April 14th
6:10 CT, Frank Gehry Presents base\BALL Stadium
Bud Norris (0-0, 2.57) v. Carlos Zambrano (0-0, 6.00)
Bud’s off to a strong-ish start, with plenty of K’s against the Rockies on Sunday. Against the Marlins, Greg Dobbs has homered off him, and Chris Coughlan is completely hitless in 11 AB’s. Everyone else is somewhere in between.
Fuck Big Z. That is all.
Sunday, April 15th
1:10 CT, Amazing Technicolor Dream Park
J.A. Happ (1-0, 4.50) v. Anibal Sanchez (1-0, 2.84)
Jay started sloppy but came away with a win last week. This is actually a pattern I can deal with over the course of a season. Giancarlo “Joey Belle” Stanton has a homer off Happ, but bats .148 otherwise. Collectively, the Marlins hit .200/.345/.311 against Happ, but Lord knows what effect having a highlighter-colored outfield wall will do as far as seeing the ball out of his hand.
Anibal, who not only has a girl’s name but also mis-spelled it, has been sneaky-good for the past couple of years. Among the Astros, battery mates Happ and Castro are .500 against him and Justin Maxwell has a homer off him.
It’s opening weekend at this particular new stadium. Let that sink in before we proceed:
Post-racial America, everyone.
Friday: Post-game Daddy Yankee concert, sponsored by Cholula Hot Sauce. Daddy Yankee, the poor man’s Pitbull, brought to you by a truly saucy wench.
Saturday: Saturday Spectacular. No description is provided, so I can only assume it means Cuban sandwiches for all, DWI’s for some.
Sunday: It’s Family Sunday, and the first 5,000 kids get an Opening Weekend Poster. When you stare at the poster, it looks like third place in the NL East.
Astros: Sergio Escalona is only mostly dead. Jed Lowrie is back, baby.
Marlins: Jose Ceda (who looks like a clean shaven Rick Ross, appropriately enough), had Tommy Juan surgery.
What To Watch For
– The COLORS
– THE COLORS!
– A story bout a man named Jed, who played shortstop, even though Marwin is pretty decent already.
– The regression to the mean.