OrangeWhoopass
  • Home
  • About
  • Forums
  • News
    • Game Recaps
    • Series Previews
    • News You Can Use
    • SNS
      • SnS TWIB
    • TRWD
  • Editorials
    • Columnistas
    • Crunch Time
    • Dark Matter
    • From Left Field
      • Bleacher Rap
      • Brushback
    • From The Dugout
    • Glad You Asked
    • Limey Time
    • Pine Tar Rag
    • Zipper Flap
      • Off Day
  • Minor Leagues
    • Minor Leagues
    • Bus Ride
    • Bus Ride Archive
    • From the Bus Stop
  • Other Originals
    • Original
    • Funk & Wagner
    • Hall of Fame
    • Headhunter
    • Monthly Awards
    • Road Trip
    • Separated At Birth
      • The Berkman Annex
  • Misc
    • Featured
    • Media
    • Uncategorized

Deja Vu: Marlins @ Astros Series Preview

Posted on May 7, 2012 by GreatBagwellsBeard in News, Series Previews

My turn to do a preview already?  Against the Marlins?  Again?  And it’s at home?  No stadium jokes?  Fuck.  Well, here goes:  The Florida Marlins of Miami employ both Ozzie Guillen and Carlos Zambrano, and said employer is represented by the shittiest owner in MLB, including Drayton and Kim Jong Steinbrenn-Un.  Everything else I know about Miami involves slow cooked pork and Elmore Leonard novels.

I have to check the calendar every year to see if the Marlins are good; odd year = good, even year = bad.  Fortunately, that puts us in a bad year, so hopefully we can beat up on these suntanned fuckers but good.

Probable Pitchers

Monday, May 7th

7:05 CT, MMPUS

Carlos Zambrano (0-2 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, 2.53) v. Wandy Rodriguez (3-2, 1.64)

The Fat Fucking Fucker hasn’t won yet this year, though he’s pitched pretty well.  Still, fuck him with a hurricane.  Among current Astros, El Caballo has five homers and a 1.122 OPS against him; collectively, the team hits .306 against Z.  Let’s leave him fucking winless.

Wandy’s done okay, I guess.  /looks around for BBG’s.  Hanley Ramirez hits Wandy well, to the tune of 1.087 OPS and some dingers.  Logan Morrison’s adamantium skeleton hits him well too.  Zambrano himself has 6 K’s against Wandy, so none of that hero bullshit tonight.

Tuesday, May 8th

7:05 CT, MMPUS

Anibal Sanchez (2-0, 2.43) v. Aneury Rodriguez (0-0, 0.00)

Annabelle is a secretly great pitcher.  If there were Marlins fans, I’d feel sorry for them that he gets overlooked at a national level, but they don’t exist so whatever.  Among the starters, Big Johnson and J.D. Martinez hit him best, but overall it’s bubkis.  The Astros have never homered off Sanchez.

Aneury gets the call for the spot start in Weiland’s spot, which is mystifying since he’s arguably the fourth best starter at OKC.  I’d assume that there’s some service time reason.  Consider the 0.00 ERA a formality.  That said, none of the current Marlins have gotten a hit off of him. Small sample size (5 AB) will do that.

Wednesday, May 9th

7:05 CT, MMPUS

Josh Johnson (0-3, 6.61) v. Lucas Harrel (2-2, 4.76)

The Marlins’ erstwhile ace has had a rough go of it in 2012.  He’s still got good stuff, though.  Against current Astros, only Carlos has had any AB’s against him, going .500 with a homer.  Everyone else gets to see him all brand new and shiny.

Harrell’s getting it done so far, albiet messily.  So long as he can get deep into the game, that’s good enough. Several Marlins have hit him well in a small sample size, but only Giancarlo Stanton has an extra base hit (a double) off him.

Injuries

(FOR YOUR FANTASY TEAM!)

Astros:

Sergio Escalona: Tommy Juan surgery

Kyle Weiland: elbow infection.  That’s a weird whorehouse he went to.

Rhiner Cruz: rehabbing a sore ankle.

Fishies:

Jose Ceda: Also Tommy Juan.

Prrromotions!

Monday: Pink Pashmina Scarf.  I’m vacillating between something self-deprecating about my fashion sense (I’d wear it!) and my sheer horror at the thought that this made it all the way through the marketing department without someone once saying, “why the fuck are we giving away old lady shawls at a baseball game?”  Choose whichever suits you.

Tuesday: Double Play Tuesdays.  Which I assume means that Jason Castro bats third.

Wednesday: Price Matters Days, presented by HEB.  No shit, HEB.

What to Watch For

Big Z getting taken to the woodshed.

Aneury’s Excellent ERA Adventure

Mr. The Altuve, Sir.  Have you given him your All-Star vote? Why the hell not?

Talk about it in the Game Zone!

The Sun Sure Gets Bright Around Here

Posted on May 6, 2012 by Ron Brand in Featured, Game Recaps

Jakes 8, Astros 1

WP – Wainwright
LP – Happ

Oh, man. Now that was a party. That was a real good time. I gotta remember this one, gotta make the next one better, a little better every time.

Damn. If I’m gonna hack I should at least find something to drink… Pall Malls? Shit, these aren’t mine. Empty anyway. Camels? What the hell…where are my Luckies? Christ, my head hurts. Where the hell is the booze, I know we didn’t drink every-

“Hey. Hey! You know it’s morning, right? Let’s go, this ain’t no hotel. Come on, get your…you got your keys? Ok. Yeah, see you later. Yeah, great party. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.”

Who the hell else is still in here? Jesus. People, I swear. They get a little drunk, get a little happy in a crowd, next thing you know they think you’re their best friend or something. Last thing I need is something personal.

“No, I haven’t seen…who? No. No, nobody else is here. She’s gone, all right? Gone like you need to be gone. Hey! I gotta clean this shit up. I don’t mean to be rude but the party’s over, ok? Yeah, yeah, I know, great time. Glad you were here. Front door is that way. That way.”

Ah, that stings. No ice, the sun is bright. God, the house stinks like some kind of wet ash tray. Can’t find a broom anywhere…

———-

Yeah, that didn’t end well. A nice little run of wins can’t go on forever, and this one was a pretty typical loss, a lot like the one those red bastards had pinned on them yesterday.

Happ didn’t have squat today, and that nibbling around the plate style doesn’t work well against the Jakes, they’ll take on you until you are challenged and today, well, Happ wasn’t up to that. With two outs, he walked Holliday in the first and then Allen Craig showed that he knows how to hit one out. Tyler Greene announced his presence with the authority of two home runs en route to 3 for 3 day.

That was all it took to snap this little party. Wainwright dominated the Astro bats, scattering seven hits and handcuffing everyone in a Houston uni. He was sharp and in command all the way through his seven innings.

EDR, Abad and Lyon mopped up the mess. EDR was touched for a run and Abad gave up his customary homer on his way back to OKC.

Hopefully the excitement of the win streak won’t wear off, and the home nine can continue to build on their recent performances. The schizophrenic Marlins flop into town tomorrow and you can enjoy yourself in the Game Zone, if you dare.

Cards @ Astros Game 1 Preview

Posted on May 4, 2012 by JaneDoe in Series Previews

Due to craziness at work, this Series Preview will be abbreviated for the time being….

The defending World Series champs make their first trip to Minute Maid this year, with a bit of a different look than last season when they doubled up on the Astros with a record of 10 wins and 5 losses. First of all, they no longer have a hole of poo……Mr. Lidgelighter has made the move to the AL and went from being second place to the Almighty down to a mere plebian. In fact, Mr. Pooh of the Hole is currently without a HR and has only 5 RBI……one month into the 2012 season. Let’s revel in this just a minute or two: Pujols’ .202 BA would rank him 14th on the Astros, just above Bud Norris. His OBP of .245 would secure the 13th spot in the Astros order, while his 5 RBI places him at 11th, just behind Downs. I don’t know about the rest of you, but there is just a little bit of glee that that infamous smirk has been bitch-slapped off his face. But I digress…..on to tonight’s game.

Friday, May 4, 7:05 p.m.
Lohse vs Harrell

Lohse had two strong outings against the Astros last year, allowing only 1 run on 10 hits in two starts (15 innings). Lee has faced him 77 times, with relative success, 5 HR and a .300 BA. No other Astro has more than 20 AB against Lohse. He became the NL’s second four game winner of the season in his last start, despite giving up a season high 3 runs in 6 innings, and raising his ERA to a whopping 1.62 for the young season. (sarc-meter working, Mr. Happy?)

Harrell is a relative unknown to the Cards lineup. He faced them in a relief outing last year, throwing a three up, three down inning. His last outing was nothing to write home about, allowing six runs (five earned), one walk and nine hits in six innings while striking out only one on Saturday.

Injuries

Schafer (back) is probable for this series, while Escalona, Cruz and Weiland continue to occupy the DL, along with Berkman, Carpenter and Linebrink. Beltran is doubtful for tonight.

Broom for you!

Posted on May 3, 2012 by BudGirl in Game Recaps

Monday, April 30th – Mets 3, Astros 4 MLB recap
Tuesday, May 1st – Mets 3, Astros 6 MLB recap
Wednesday, May 2nd – Mets 1, Astros 8 MLB recap

As most of you should already realize, the Astros not only won a series, they swept a series. It seems like forever since they have done so. I’m sure it was a game of beauty yesterday but I wasn’t able to see it. The only game out of this series I was able to enjoy was Tuesday’s. I thought Happ did a pretty good job, at least good enough to win.

I know there was some debate about whether this team is fun to watch or not. I fall on the side of they are fun to watch. When your expectations are low, it is easy to enjoy them. Plus, I think they are improving.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that since Ebby Calvin’s infamous series preview the Astros are playing .500 baseball. That is improvement. Way to help the team out Ebby!!

Hope you all enjoy the off day and may the Astros continue their win streak throughout the weekend. After all, who doesn’t like BBQ’ed cardinal?

Oh, Come On. Don’t Just Give It Away.

Posted on April 29, 2012 by Ron Brand in Featured, Game Recaps

Reds 6, Astros 5

W: Ondrusek
L: F. Rodriguez

Jordan Lyles returned to the bigs Sunday, at least for one game. This was a fairly important one to the Astros, since it represented not only a chance to even the road trip, to take a series from Cincinnati at home for the first time in years, and also to see just how well young Lyles would perform against a tough hitting club.

Lyles pitched six strong innings. He had good command and worked the corners and down in the zone well except for the fourth inning, when he gave up a double to Cozart and a bomb to Votto on two mistake pitches. Other than that he was terrific, even dropping down a suicide squeeze to score CJ in the third.

Offensively, the team had some bright spots. Altuve had three hits, Lowrie and CJ two each, with homers for Lowrie and Downs. They only worked one walk off of Latos, but they got ten hits off of him and never looked bad at the plate.

The wheels fell off of this one in the seventh. Lopez came in and gave up two quick hits, then Carpenter was brought in and he got two outs before Mills decided to throw the book out the window. Sure, there’s not much in the way of lefthanded relivers on this squad and yes, it would’ve meant putting the tying run on second and the lead run on if Votto was walked, but Votto had been spoiling pitches the entire series and hitting what he wanted to. Carpenter came in with a slider, in and down and Votto slapped it into right to tie the game. Walking Votto would’ve preserved the righty-righty matchup against Phillips, who was 0 for 4 today and looked overmatched.

In the eighth, FeRod’s first pitch was grooved right down the middle of the plate for the go-ahead run by Bruce. No lengthy parables tonight, no weird storytime that dares you to connect the dots for some Greater Truth. Questionable decisions by Mills and a mistake pitch by FeRod are what this one boils down to, and if Mills doesn’t get his head right he’ll never take this team to the next level. I don’t know what the hell is going on in that dugout, but we’ve seen this sort of tactical strangeness too many times and on a team with zero margin for error, it’s even more costly.

Giggle along with us in the GameZone. Tomorrow it’s the hated steM, and Surfer Bud looks to find the cool breeze.

It’s Piranha Time, Baybee!

Posted on April 27, 2012 by Noe in Austin in Series Previews

Houston Astros (7-12) verses Cincinnati Reds (9-10)

Tammy Faye Baker Park (aka: Great American Ball Park)
Radio: HOU: KTRH 740, KLAT 1010 CIN: WLW 700
TV: HOU: FS-H, DirecTV-678, Dish441, DishHD-9581 CIN: FS-O

It is no surprise to anyone that the Houston Astros have been competitive this year and one thing more than anything else points to the reason why. Offense. This young team has managed to hit the ball well in every game this year, save one or two games when the opposing pitcher was of the premiere variety. Overall, one has to be pretty enthused about how these local nine have taken to swinging the sticks, with of course some questionable approaches at times in crucial run scoring opportunities. It comes with the territory of being young and foolish on either count.

Leading the way for the team is perhaps the unlikeliest of characters, the diminutive Jose “Piranha” Altuve. It is not like the young man has been given a prime spot in the order to do his good work, no, he’s pretty much just hit the ball when he has the opportunity. Now the team travels to Cincinnati and their joyful little ballpark that just invites a ton of offense. Should be interesting to watch, if of course you’re lucky not to live anywhere near the San Antonio Spurs or Texas Rangers broadcast. In which case, sorry about that.

Matchups:
Game one – Friday, April 27,2012 – 7:30pm
Wandy Rodriguez vs. Mike “I’m not Kelly” Leake
A quick glance at this game, it seems that coupled with the good offensive showing of the Astros coupled with the stellar pitching by Wandy mixed in with Mike Leake’s very shaky start of the season… well, you’d favor the Astros. Heavily.

Word of caution though, things rarely work as “facts” tell us they should, so don’t go betting the house or firstborn on a win. And if you do, don’t come here and complain that this preview was your source for making such a stupid bet in the first place!

Game two – Saturday, April 28, 2012 – 3:10pm
Lucas Harrell vs. Jose Cueto
Again, taking a quick gander at this matchup, one would have to heavily favor the Reds. Yes, because Cueto is a pretty darn good pitcher and Lucas Harrell is not. Not yet any way. But things can happen to make this a probable win for Houston, like the sun getting in the eye of an outfielder (day baseball… yay!) and a routine flyball out turning into a triple for Jordan Sheafer or something like that. In other words, Houston is going to need a little bit of luck in this one. That includes Harrell deciding that the bottom part of the strikezone is just as good as the upper half where he’s been living and dying (mostly dying) this season.

Game three – Sunday, April 29, 2012 – 12 noon
Bud Norris vs. Mat “Not Hungarian” Latos
Yay, more day baseball! This may turn out to be the most evenly matched game of the series. I know that neither Norris nor Latos has really shown the flash this season that made each rising young star pitchers in the NL. This may be the game when both decide to really battle, in which case, we will all benefit and enjoy a good game. Young pitchers are often in need of good defense behind them, so a nod goes in Cincy’s way based on the stellar infield they feature. But then again, there is still the piranha factor to consider and maybe Jose can jump on some Latos meat for a fine day at the plate.

UPDATE: Breaking news… this just in from the field desk in Waxahachie (that is as close as we could get to Oklahoma City). Jordan Lyles has been tabbed to start on Sunday in place of Bud Norris. He will be called up prior to the game and hopefully that will mean the end of the Abad Experience (please!). Lyles vs. Matos alters the game just a tad in favor of the Reds, however, there is still the issue of Latos scuffling a bit this season. Here is hoping he continues to struggle, thus making this game very winnable by Houston. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb and say Houston takes this game, once again, on some really good offense output by the lineup.

Things that may be of interest:

  • Scott Rolen is playing like the old veteran he is. Meaning he’s not doing so well at the plate but can still surprise every once and awhile. Leave it to him to break out against the Astros though. Ugh!
  • Kyle Weiland is now on the DL because of a hurt shoulder. That means Fernando Abad is back on the club. Lord knows what is worse, having Abad back on the team or Wesley Wright still holding down the left handed specialist role. Nice, imagine those two facing off with Joey Votto?
  • Marwin Gonzales got to go home to be with his wife for the birth of their baby. Lance Berkman called and said it was the right thing to do. Brian Bixler is back up with the big club.

As always, catch all the action at the GAMEZONE, or as we like to call it, Mr. Happy’s home away from home!

«‹129130131132133›»

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2002-2015 OrangeWhoopass.com