Marlins 4 – Astros 3
WP – Nolasco | LP – Lopez
Boxscore
Gamezone

There are rodeo clowns, and then there are just plain clowns.

I can bat third, no problem!

Yeah, that sounds like I’m going to be just a tad harsh on the young Astros team.  Not really, just a bit realistic because if you wanna be a clown, then don’t be surprised if you’re called one.  More on that later, first today was SnS day at Minute Maid Park and how nice of the Astros to do all sorts of nice things to honor us.  Giant flag, propping Milo up on crutches so he can be on the field to announce the starting lineups (and all team members, coaches, trainers, radio announcers, and even some of the Coca Cola Patrol… I think, I lost interest when Milo rambled on and on).  There was even a young nubile singer dressed in a shiny red dress and an interesting rendention of the National Anthem.  Yeah, there is just no way I’ll ever hear someone just sing the song the way it was intended when penned by Francis Scott Key in my lifetime ever again.  They ended the SnS welcome ceremonies with a flyover of WWII aircrafts… methinks in honor of Coach Raup, who probably flew one of those babies in the great war.

Nice of the Astros Pam Gardner to do all that just for us.  Next time though, get us better seats Pammy, all we could see of the new scoreboard were several gianormous pixels right over our head.  You know how scary it can be to turn to see the young lady singing the National Anthem and all you see is two giant nostrils staring back at you?  No, no you don’t.  And nevermind trying to get an idea on how the opposing team’s players are doing, much less who is batting when all you can see is a giant “1” or “.3″ and nothing else.  I got the sense of what it may be like to be an ant sitting underneath a 62” widescreen tv.  But you know, that is about all Pammy did wrong on the day for us, we were treated well.

Thank you Houston Astros for the warm welcome and even fireworks in our hon… what?  Really?  Not for us?  Are you sure?  Ooohhhh… Opening day?  But that was last week! *sigh*, okay, my bad.

AS far as the game itself, the Astros lost the game in unique fashion: Some interesting baserunning that yields nothing but *yuk, yuk* moments, some very interesting ABs at critical moments in the game worthy of carousel music, and last but certainly not least, bulpen performance that makes one wonder how long until Ed Wade is on the phone to Oklahoma to call up the next wave of batting practice throwing firemen.  I’m sure they will arrive all riding mini motorcycles wearing giant water spouting flowers on their lapels.

Here is the thing, there were good moments on the night for the Astros too: Wandy pitched well, Billy Hall taking out Hanley Ramirez with some hustle even Pete Rose would be proud of and Brett Wallace showing that one day he will be the best hitter on the team… maybe next week if I were doing the managing (but good for everyone, I’m not).  None of those moments were more surprising than JR Towles actually throwing out a runner trying to steal.  I was there, I saw it, it was no fluke.  The guy running was not Benji Molina-like, he looked like a man capable of stealing a bag if necessary.  JR actually managed to throw a laser to second and on the button to actually give notice that this night was indeed his night.  Why?  Because earlier he had a homerun and single and before the night was over, he’d have a significant hit to give hope to the SnS, rally cap wearing, hoarse from screaming gang that a win was in the offing.  It was not a fluke that sitting right behind our group was a young man in a wheelchair who communicated with a bicycle horn.  Quite fitting indeed.  Gave rise to the now signal of honor from the SnS for Mr. Towless, a couple of squeezes of the snozola for a job well done.  Alas, the win was not to be as pinch runner Booj-wah was thrown out trying to steal a bag to end the game.  Fitting end to the whole circus if you ask me.

Quite a festive night, are you sure it wasn’t SnS night at the park?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Astros 4
Dickities 12

W: Volquez | L: Figueroa

HR: None

I saw the Opening Day matchup at the Phillies. A solid effort against a good team. A lead carried until the last possible chance was blown. I felt pretty good despite the loss. I haven’t seen a game since. Until tonight.

Sure, I’ve seen the scores, read the boxes, scanned the GZ. I even saw a few spring games. I know this team is not good. But I saw game one. They showed they can put it together; that the hitting can be timely and they can make the play when it’s needed. Hell, I saw the 1st inning tonight!

I watched the Good Guys take advantage of a shaky Volquez and turn patience and timely hitting into 4 runs with 10 batters to the plate in the top of the 1st. And I saw a spastic yet great catch in RF to rob the Reds’ lead-off hitter of an extra-base hit, which lead to a scoreless end to the 1st. I kept watching.

By the end of 2, the Reds had added a run on 3 straight hits and they probably would’ve had more but the inning was mercifully gifted to an end with 1st and 2nd and 1 out by a dead quail Volquez bunt that was turned into a DP.

By the end of 3, the Dickities had a 2-run lead and never looked back. The collapse was punctuated by some of the ugliest Astros at-bats I’ve seen in some time and some truly comedic improvisation in the field. The highlight, and there were many, was Towles’ attempt to gun down a runner at 3rd on a double steal. His throw somehow hit batter Hernandez’ bat and sailed into the 3rd base dugout.

I could go on. Over the course of the evening the Astros logged 5 errors and that’s being generous. They had only 2 RISP past the 1st inning and struck out 12 times. 6 more Reds runs would score as this game went on waaay longer than it should have. JD warned early that 4 runs would not be enough. HA!

I’m a patient fan. I try not to get too high or too low and it’s still only just 5 games in. On the other hand, it’s only 5 games in…

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Dickities 8
Astros 2

w: Leake (1-0) | L: Happ (0-1)

J.A. Happ made his delayed first start of 2011 after straining his right oblique and had no control over his pitches from the beginning. Once again the Good Guys were forced to play catchup from the getgo after the Dickities got 3 in the first. The Skyline Nine capitalized on Happ’s inability to get his pitches consistently over the plate despite getting a few first-pitch strikes called.

“He was mixing his pitches well but just didn’t have any command of them,” manager Brad Mills said. “Those three walks in the first inning put him behind the eight ball and the hits as well, but the command just wasn’t there.”

Four innings, twelve baserunners (five walks, including one with the bases loaded and another HBP with the bases loaded), seven runs allowed by Happ. There were complaints of a tight strike zone and catcalls from the Astro bench. “I felt like I was around the zone,” Happ said. “They took some quality pitches. I don’t know if it was a lack of aggressiveness on my part or what. The fact that I got behind in the count allowed them to be a little more selective.”

Yeah. Is there a team less selective than the Astros?

Mike Leake was able to use the pressure of being behind on the Good Guys and hold them to three hits and two walks in six innings.

Astros fall to 0-4, Reds cruising at 4-0.

Your Gold Glove Centerfielder Michael Bourn went 2 for 4, including a double and a run scored. Sanchez was 1-3 and drove in the two Astro runs. Pence and Wallace got the other two hits, both singles.

Thunderpants is on a four game hit streak, during which he promises to not blink.

Bill Hall (1 for 15) twisted an ankle but says he’ll be ok for Wednesday’s game, when Nelson Figueroa and the hungry sufferers look to kick the shit out of that pretender Edinson Vólquez and the rest of his Crew of Chumps. Check it out in the GZ.