Giants 6, Astros 3
W: Bumgarner (8-4)
L: Norris (5-4)
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Faced with a 10:15pm local start time (10:15! Not even 10:05? You suck, Giants.), I decided to write out most of my recap before the game, in the form of a Multiple-choice quiz. I’m pretty sure professional beat writers write all their recaps by the 4th inning, so I’m just trying to take it one step further. All I’ll have to do when I wake up in the morning is type out A, C, C, B, etc. and boom, I’m done. What could be lazier, er, easier?
1. Headline that summarizes the game:
a. Can of Bud Beats Tall Boy
b. …We Might Be Midgets
c. Giant Bum Holds Down Stros
Answer: c.
2. The Major Storyline of the game was:
a. Madison Bumguarder loaded the bases with no outs in every inning, but somehow only allowed 1 run.
b. Bud Norris was awesome. He struck out a bunch of guys.
c. Bud Norris sucked. He struck out a bunch of guys.
Answer: c. Removed for injury amidst an Oswalt-inningesque 4th
3. The turning point of the game was :
a. A massive home run to LCF by Justin Maxwell
b. A massive fuck-up in LCF by Justin Maxwell
c. A bases-loaded HBP of Maxwell with the score tied in the top of the 9th, after he homered in his previous at-bat and went “nah-nah-nah-nah, nah nah!” towards the Giants dugout and stuck his tongue out.
Answer: d. none of the above. See answer to #2
4. The defensive highlight of the night was:
a. Jose Altuve catching a pop-up against the screen after Castro trips on his mask
b. Bogusevic gunning down the tying run at the plate after Altuve threw a routine grounder into the right-field corner
c. Castro holding onto the ball after getting decked by Buster Posey
Answer: d. none of the above. Downs charged in all Bagwell-like on a squeeze bunt in the 4th to throw the runner out at home (although he was probably safe)
5. The most exciting thing about this game was:
a. Altuve decking Posey to score the go-ahead run from 2nd on a groundout.
b. Brian Bixler going 3-for-3 with 4 steals, and having people finally realize he was on the team
c. Chris Snyder’s inside-the-park homer
Answer: b. Not quite that good, but Bix did go 2-4 with 2 RBI and a SB
6. I personally derived satisfaction from:
a. Not having to worry about hearing Jon Sterling say “The Melk-Man delivers!”
b. Seeing former Card/Cub Ryan Theriot hit into 4 DP’s
c. The delicious polenta-artichoke tart my wife made, but not much else, as the Astros played horrendous baseball and were blown out by a bunch of slap-hitting retreads
Answer: c. Yummy tart, not a blow-out but they were dominated by Bumgarner (Theriot did go 0-5, which was nice)
7. The thing I hated was:
a. How I kept hearing “The Melk-Man delivers” in my head anyway.
b. That Ryan Theriot didn’t completely fuck up every chance he got.
c. All 5 of the Giants’ RBIs were by guys I’ve never heard of.
Answer: e. all of the above
8. The Star of the Game was:
a. A pitcher
b. A hitter
c. The home plate umpire- he’s just so stylish and spunky!
Answer: a.
9. An odd miscellaneous fact or stat from this game was:
a. Jose Altuve had a swinging-bunt base hit that went exactly 5’5”, or one Altuve
b. Madison Bumgarner became the first Giant pitcher since Mike Krukow in 1985 to strike out 10 or more batters and hit a homer in the same game.
c. Jed Lowrie became the first Astros SS ever to launch a splash-hit HR into McCovey’s Cove.
Answer: b. Okay, I wrote this one in the morning after reading that online
Extra credit summary paragraph:
A forgettable game for the Good Guys. LHP Bumgarner flat-out oppressed the Astros’ legion of RHB’s, showing a great slider that bore inside on them. Carpenter chipped in 2 2/3 innings of scoreless ball in the middle, but Lyon and Wright allowed the Gints to tack on 3 late runs that made the Castro and Bixler RBIs in the 8th and 9th moot. Pink-eyed Jordan Schafer had a pinch-hit walk in the 9th.