The only person who might be happy about Brian Moehler’s performance in the rubber game of the series is Brandon Backe, who might need some combination of injury and miracle to pitch for Houston this year. If you missed it, Brian Moehler gave up seven earned runs in just a hair less than two innings, opening the season with a robust 37.80 earned-run average. He wasn’t necessarily rocked around the park, giving up single, single, double, walk, single, single, single in the first, and single, HBP, single before getting an early shower. Before you could make it down to the good seats with a Star Dog, the good guys were down 8 to nothing. Combined with an anemic performance in the opener, Houston opens 1-2, and the Talkzone notwithstanding, isn’t exactly inspiring sonnets.

But, it’s vitally important that no one overreacts to the results of the first series of the season, even if it’s against the Cubs. Okay, nothing about baseball is actually vital or important, and you fans can overreact all you want (unless you’re talking to Drayton, please), but I’m talking specifically about Cecil Cooper and the Astros. Regardless of the results against the Cubs, nothing has changed from a week ago. Moehler, Mike Hampton and Russ Ortiz are still question marks in the rotation. Wandy Rodriquez is still a good to great pitcher at home. Lance Berkman still gets on base a lot. Hunter Pence still has no clue at the plate, although when he makes contact, it can go a long way fast. The good news is that no one was injured, not even Kaz Matsui or Mike Hampton (He could have fallen down the steps. And you wouldn’t have been surprised.) If you were paying attention, you might have noticed the Astros were very capable of winning the series.

How do they get better? First, picking a real lineup would be a good first step. Bourn, Matsui, Berkman, Lee, Tejada, Pence, Blum/Keppinger, Rodriguez, pitcher makes a hell of a lot of baseball sense. Someone might want to stick with that for a couple of weeks. Unless the Astros are counting on 5 home runs a night. And they might be. They probably should note that they still lost. Secondly, Russ Ortiz is a career starter, and isn’t going to be great coming out of the bullpen. He shouldn’t be put in situations like cleaning up Moehler’s mess, if Cooper is terribly worried about the results. It’s also understandable that Russ Ortiz is coming out of the bullpen for the first two weeks, but Roy Oswalt’s personal comfort isn’t a great reason for that, especially at the beginning of the season. Third,

The results aren’t want anyone wanted, but they could have been a hell of a lot worse. So on to Saint Louise, fried ravioli, and the battlin’ Birds. There’ll be a lot for Cooper to overreact about there as well. Like getting outmanaged by Billy Jean King.

Milo Way? – Wednesday afternoon, a stretch of Hamilton Street was rededicated “Milo Way”. And by rededicated I mean that under the actual street sign a legally insignificant sign was hung. It was the kind of sign you could buy from Spenser’s to be able to signify that the bar in your rumpus room is for “Red Sox Parking Only”, vainly hoping that actual Red Sox will “park” there, instead of your mother-in-law’s new husband.

Beyond being silly, it’s not really accurate. Hamilton Street is a well-paved, direct, one-way street, heading southwest between State Highway 59 and the George R. Brown Convention Center. A more accurate Milo Way would start off smoothly, run over Gene Elston’s grave, and proceed to deteriorate rapidly, meandering for miles and miles, not necessarily getting you anywhere. Along the way, there would be street signs promising you that you had almost reached the end, even though you can never actually get there.

Managing Through The Media, by Cecil Cooper – Quote of the Week: “I talked to (Pudge) last night about moving Keppinger into the No. 2 hole simply because Keppinger, in my estimation is a REAL two-hole hitter.”

Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez was the two-hole hitter Monday and Tuesday. Although evidently not a REAL one. I get the impression that Cecil Cooper imagines himself to be the baseball equivalent of Benjamin Linus…always saying something or doing something to push the psychological buttons of his players to move them into doing things they aren’t normally willing to do or capable of. Mr. Cooper, Lost, while a quality television show, isn’t real life. In, real life, you just get shit-canned for losing the clubhouse. Again.

Weak Ponderance of the Off-Day: If you were a famous female athlete, would you marry a man with the last name Dyke?

When we last saw the Chicago Cubs, they were busy taking credit for the work of an unholy alliance between Hurricane Ike and Allan Huber “Bud” Selig. While somewhere between 2 and 3 million residents of the Texas Gulf Coast were clearing tree debris and having all you can eat BBQ parties (because that’s all that happens during a Hurricane…one big party after another), the Astros were busy bugging out to play a home series in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Even if you believe that Pangea was a reality, it’s tough to work out the geography.

Predictably, the Astros lost those two games in impressive fashion, including being no-hit by Carlos Zambrano, who did his best rooster impression after the game. And by rooster, I mean cock. The Astros started a 5-game losing streak, the Cubs won their second consecutive Division title, and Bud was appointed to an oversight committee by Rod Blagojevich.

Good for the Cubs. As is their indomitable style, they proceeded to get swept out of the playoffs in the first round, and the cock, he cried. (Do not perform a Google image search for “Crying Cock” at work.)

Flash forward almost 6 months, and we get a visit from those same Cubs, who, sources say, are primed to break their 100+ year drought on World Series Championships, goats be damned. ESPN says so, Baseball Prospectus says so, the Sporting News (yes, they’re still in business) says so. Even Richard Justice says so. Until he changed his mind. But then he changed it back. What time is it?

Meanwhile your hometown team, the lowly Houston Astros, are picked by everyone not named Cecil Cooper and Lance Berkman to finish in the bottom half of the Central Division. It makes sense, as the Astros are the oldest team in the National League, and would probably be the oldest team in the Harris County Senior Softball League if they were allowed to compete there. (Unfortunately for the Astros, Harris County is a stickler about league players providing *VALID* identification, excluding Wandy Rodriguez and Miguel Tejada.)

Along with age. Also not in the Astros’ favor is the starting rotation, featuring a potential Cy Young candidate in Roy Oswalt, Rodriguez and then a series of reclamation projects named Mike Hampton, Brian Moehler and Russ Ortiz. Hampton and Ortiz haven’t been healthy or helpful (except maybe to little old ladies, and I’m just giving them the benefit of the doubt here) in years. Moehler was at this time last year, lucky to be on a major league roster.

But…despite all of that, and despite lingering issues with the top of the order, and despite Cecil Cooper’s penchant for imagining himself to be a managerial cross between Joe Torre (good call Yankees), St. Sebastian and Montgomery Burns, and despite the apparent health concerns of nearly everyone on the roster except for Michael Bourn and Hunter Pence (discounting window panes and sliding glass doors), this team is still more or less the same team that went 42-24 in the second half of 2008.

It’s reasonable to expect better seasons from Cooper, Rodriguez, the catching position, Bourn and Pence. It’s reasonable to expect a more consistent season from Berkman, Tejada, Oswalt and Valverde. It’s reasonable to expect healthy seasons from Carlos Lee and Jeff Keppinger. And, as was true last season, an outstanding bullpen is in place. Every team needs some luck to win big, so luck notwithstanding, the talent and the desire to win big lives at the corner of Crawford and Texas this season.

The keys to the season for your hometown nine are pretty simple.  Bourn has to produce, and needs to produce at the top of the lineup.  Hampton and Ortiz have to take 25 to 30 starts apiece.  The innings don’t all have to be good, but they’ve got to eat innings all year long.  The middle of the line-up has to produce. And, maybe most importantly, Cooper has to find a balance to his managerial style.  The Astros had a winning season last year despite his on the job training.  They need him to be better this season.  If he can accomplish that, and the Astros can stay healthy, opening day won’t be the only cause for celebration in MMPUS this summer.

Beyond being glad that baseball is back, there’s potential joy in Houston this summer.  Pound some Shiner, and strap in.  These are your 2009 Houston Astros.  The ride is probably going to be bumpy, but it could also be pretty special.