Astros 3
Florida Man 1
contributed by NeilT
It’s been a rough week for the Astros, with a series loss to the _____ Rays and a sweep by Washington. There were four losses in a row, which the Astros hadn’t suffered since May of 2014. Keuchel made me feel nauseous with existential uncertainty by pitching lousy, and the bullpen returned to the mean. Now the Stros are back in Florida playing the Billy Ray Florida Men.
But however bad it was to be an Astro, it had to be worse to be a Bobby Ray. Last week the U.S. Patent Office canceled the patent on their name because , as that crazy redneck Florida Man named _____ Ray, they are inherently offensive. It caused quite a kerfuffle in the Beer and Queso thread, with several posters defending their second amendment right to bear stupid names while others exercised their first amendment right to declare the former politically incorrect. As usual, HH’s opinion was completely unclear.
Here are some excellent 2013 Florida man headlines:
Florida Man Assaults Quadriplegic With A FishFlorida Man Spent Years Posing As DEA Agent Just So He Could Get Into Strip Clubs for Free
Florida Man Caught Throwing Garden Gnome Through Neighbor’s Window; Discovered As Serial Arsonist
Mall Evacuated After Florida Man Sprinkles Wife’s Ashes in Her Favorite LensCrafters
Florida Man Upsets Neighbors After Turning Home Into “Naked Hangout Club”
Trouble-Making Florida Man Moves To Seattle, Keeps Making Trouble
Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2013/12/31/the-best-of-florida-headlines-in-2013/2/#ixzz35H1LXiO4
I hope that last involved a naked men’s yoga class.
As for last night’s game, Cosart threw eight scoreless innings on 109 pitches for his third straight win, giving up 6 hits, two walks, and 2 Ks. He’s now 7-5 for the season.
David Ray Price, now 5-7, took the loss for the Rays, giving up two runs in the 3rd when Altuve scored on George Springer’s 13th homer. Johnny Ray Oviedo replaced David Ray in the 9th and gave up the third run on Villar’s 6th homer. David Ray struck out Kris Karter for his 1000th K. This blurb confused me too, but Carter only has 414 Ks, so it was Price’s 1000th K.
Qualls allowed the one ____ Rays run in the 9th. Eddie Ray Longoria led off the inning and reached on a Villar fielding error. Villar now has 11 errors for the season. On the flip side, this play by Villar in the 7th was Blue Star: http://m.mlb.com/video/v33886037/houtb-villar-barehands-grounder-throws-on-the-run/?query=&game_pk=381639
Eddie Ray advanced to second on a Jimmy Ray Loney soft single, and advanced to third when Benny Ray Zobrist grounded into a force out at second. Yunel Ray Escobar drove in Eddie Ray on a two-out line drive single to right. Ryan Ray Hanigan K’d to end the inning.
Jose Altuve continued to be the player against whom all others are measured by singling in the 1st, 3rd , and 8th. That’s 101 hits for the season, and I don’t know how many multi-hit games. Castro doubled in the 2nd, and caught Sean Ray Rodriguez stealing in 8th. Fowler got on twice with walks. Springer hit his 13th Springer Dinger.