Sporting a very nice 10-4 record over their last 14 games, the Astros head to the desert to face the bottom dwelling (but playing much better ball recently) Diamondbacks in a quick two game series.
Chase Field (AND Minute Maid Park… Who the fuck came up with this schedule, anyway?!)
Monday June 9th, 8:40pm CSN, but much more likely if you’re actually watching, MLB.tv
Tuesday June 10th, 1:40pm CSN, but much more likely if you’re actually watching, MLB.tv
Wednesday June 11th, 7:10pm CSN, but much more likely if you’re actually watching, MLB.tv
Thursday June 12th, 7:10pm CSN, but much more likely if you’re actually watching, MLB.tv
Monday
Jarred Cosart (4-5, 4.16) vs Josh Collmenter (4-2, 3.63)
After a stinker against the A’s (1/3 inning, 7 earned runs) in April, Jarred has really settled down and pitched well. His ERA is down 3 full point and some change, and he’s given up 3 or less earned runs in every game since.
Cosart has never faced the Diamondbacks. Fuck you, Bud.
Collmenter is a 28 year old that has done whatever the Snakes have asked him to. He’s been exclusively a starter this season, but his career numbers are pretty solid both out of the pen and as a starter (3.43 ERA 1.16 WHIP).
Current Astros are 10 for 42 against Josh, with Guzman (4-13, 2 2B) leading the charge. Dex Fowler (4-17) is the only other guy with extended numbers against him, and a few other guys have seen him a few times, but haven’t done anything of note.
Tuesday
Brad Peacock (2-4, 4.82) vs Bronson Arroyo (5-4, 4.50)
Peacock is best described as “servicable” when describing his pitching style. He can be effective for stretches, and when he’s on, he is a plus pitcher. But when he’s scuffling, it ain’t gonna be pretty. He’s been pretty reliable his last few outings, and had a pretty great one against the Orioles in his second to last start, giving up one earned run through six innings of work while striking out seven.
Bradley J. has only faced one current Diamondback, and Mark Trumbo drew a walk against him. DOOMED.
I fucking hate Bronson Arroyo. Get a haircut and get a real job you goddamn hippie.
Current Astros are pretty dismal against this fuckstick (7-44). He’s held Altuve at 0fer (0-10). Marwin, on the other hand, has knocked him around in very limited numbers (2-3 with an RBI).
Wednesday, Switching to Minute Maid
Brandon McCarthy(1-8, 5.13) vs Dallas Keuchel (7-3, 2.50)
Brandon McCarthy is a known Communist sympathizer… Wait, wrong guy. McCarthy has scuffled a LOT this season, as his one and eight record suggests. Every time it starts to look like he’s turned things around, he has another stinker of a game and his ERA goes back up to the high fours or low fives.
The only current Astro with any at bats against Brandon is Dex Fowler (1-3, K). So yeah, lots to go on for this game!
Dallas (the player, not the shitass city) has been spectacular this season, just absolutely spinning beautiful start after beautiful start. His last outing was six innings of one unearned run baseball against the Twinkies, which notched Keuchel his seventh win of the season.
Current D-backs (which totally sounds like some kind of really uncomfortable women’s underwear line) knock Dallas around a bit (7-20) With Aaron Hill (2-5) and Mark Trumbo (4-7, 2 3B, 5 RBI) doing the brunt of the damage. So yeah, pitch around Mr. Trumbo please.
Thursday, Still at Minute Maid. Don’t ask me, I didn’t come up with this dipshit idea.
Wade Miley (3-6, 4.57) vs Scott Feldman (3-4, 4.12)
Wade Miley (not to be confused with Wade Miller) looks a little… strange. He’s a middle of the rotation kind of guy that has really focused on throwing more strikes recently, and his strikeout numbers have spiked because of it. But, he’s also given up a bunch of home runs because of it, so look for some heavy contact from the Good Guys against ol’ Wade.
Current Astros hit Miley well (16-50), with Jesus Guzman (7-20, HR, 2 2B, 6 RBI), Dex Fowler (4-14, HR, 4BB) doing the brunt of the damage.
Scott Feldman has been solid for the Astros so far this year, but ran in to some trouble in his last start against the Twins. He only lasted 1.2 innings, and left after giving up three unearned runs and laboring badly. Otherwise, he’s been good if not great.
Current Snakes don’t hit him well (15-76). Cliff Pennington (5-17, HR) and Aaron Hill (5-21) have done most of the damage. The rest of the team either hasn’t faced him or hasn’t done anything against him.
Houston
Fatt Albers is on the 15 day DL with shoulder tendonitis.
Anthony Bass is on the 15 day DL with a intercostal something-or-another.
Jose Cisnero is out for the season due to biceps surgery.
Jesse Crane may be ready to return to action sometime in June. Thanks MLB.com, VERY descriptive.
Asher Wlotsmorelettershere is on the 15 day DL with a lat strain/flexor injury. No word on return for him yet.
Arizona
Ryan Brasier is on the 60 day DL with an elbow strain.
Sean Burnett is out for the season with Tommy John surgery.
Brian Moran is ALSO out for the season with Tommy John surgery.
Ian Stewart is on the 15 day DL with a hand contusion. They’ve apparently filled him full of Cortisone and it still hurts.
Giveaways This Series
It’s in Arizona, so probably desert fever. Which is WAY worse than dessert fever.
AND in Houston. I know. It’s stupid. Don’t ask me.
Nothing cool on Wednesday. Thursday they’re giving away Astros Grocery Tote bags!
Our Interesting Things to Look For
- Oh oh, whats this? Suddenly the baby Astros are heating up and the media is taking notice? Welcome back, least fickle of the bandwagon fans. There’s plenty of room on the SpringerDinger Express.
- That Singleton kid has got a sweet stroke. The grand slam he hit was a thing of beauty. SUCH quick hands.
- If I hear any of you non-sarcastically say “Springer Dinger” within earshot of me, I will powerbomb you through a fucking table.
- Seriously, Bronson Arroyo is awful.
Things have been kicking in the Gamezone lately! Go check it out!