Cards 9, Astros 5
W: Wainwright (12-5)
L: Norris (6-8)
Contributed by Reuben
While perusing the boxscore for Tuesday’s game, I was momentarily struck by Bud Norris’ batting average: .250. “Hilarious,” I thought, “Bud probably has one of the highest averages on the whole team.” It took me a few minutes to realize that Bud hasn’t had many opportunities to bat this year (FYB), and sure enough, he is 1-for-4 on the year, but still: only 3 hitters who appeared in this game for the Astros had a higher average – Martinez, .255, Castro, .267, and Altuve, .282.
Meanwhile, the only position player in the Cards’ starting lineup below .250 is their #8 hitter, CF Jon Jay, .247. They actually have 4 guys over .300, including league-leader Necktat Molina at .344; in fact, 3 of the top 4 in NL batting average are Cardinals. And that doesn’t even include some guy on their bench named Matt Adams, who is hitting .316 with a .579 slugging percentage in 114 at-bats.
Yes, I still hate the Cardinals. I hate them and I want to see them fail, lose the division to the Pirates, get stomped by the Astros, all that stuff. But at least, when they (unsurprisingly) stomp the Astros instead, and put their powerhouse offense on display like they did Tuesday night, at least then I can look over their roster and go, “Wow, this guy Luhnow drafted turned out to be really good”… over and over again.
Allen Craig, who’s 2nd in the NL with 71 RBI, 3rd in BA at .329? Drafted by Luhnow in the 8th round out of UC Berkeley. All-Star 2B Matt Carpenter, batting .322 and leading the league in Runs and Doubles? Drafted by Luhnow in the 13th round out of TCU. Matt Adams, who presumably would be starting on many other teams? Luhnow took him in the 22nd round out of Slippery Rock University of Pennsylvania.
Last night the Cards brought in this lefty reliever, Siegfrist or something, guy has a 0.00 ERA in his first 12 games in the majors. Throwing 95 mph gas, blew Wallace and Castro away easily. Drafted by Luhnow in the 41st round out of Palm Beach Community College. Jamie Garcia, Lance Lynn, Trevor Rosenthal, Shelby Miller, Daniel Descalso… all drafted while Luhnow was overseeing the St. Louis drafts.
So, while it is miserable on one level to see the Fucking Jakes, the Shitbirds, the Co-ards doing so well and trampling Bud Norris’ trade value in the process, perhaps in Allen Craig we are seeing the future of Preston Tucker, or Conrad Gregor. Maybe Travis Ballew is the future Trevor Rosenthal. Maybe Luhnow and his science-y guys developed some way of analyzing hair samples or a player’s breakfast cereal preferences to determine who will add 4 mph to their fastball after college, or learn to lay off sliders in the dirt better, or whatever. Let’s hope so.
But in the meantime, I’m hoping for some more Wodan’s Day Astro Magic.