Texas 4
Houston 2
contributed by NeilT
Last weekend I went down to Houston to welcome the NRA to our great state, and show off the new toy the fine folks at LaRue loaned me. Howdy and welcome to Texas, folks! Our name means friends! It would have been better though if the targets had been more clearly identified as Democrats.
Anyway, while I was at the Brown Center at the trade show I met this fine-looking filly manning the Gun Grease booth. She told me she performed most nights onstage at a place called TC’s, and Michael Berry said he’d take me over, but Anita said Not No but H-E-double-L No. Me and Miss LaLoosh did talk a bit of baseball statistics, which I wasn’t much up on but she knew coming and going. Did you know that during my tenure as governor our Texas economy leads all other states combined in creation of American League jobs? I didn’t know that, but it’s because we have a balanced budget and a surplus.
So I came back to Houston this weekend to root for Texas’s team, the Rangers. For right-thinking people, Houston’s not Paint Creek, or even Arlington. It’s chock-full of Democratic mayors who might run for state office or try to be a den mother. We here in Texas will never bend over to the social and economic agenda of Western Europe, or of Houston.
Plus I have to pull for the Rangers ‘cause my good buddy Nolan pulls for the Rangers. Miss LaLoosh said last weekend that she was an Astros fan, but that as a special favor she’d help me pull for the Rangers. Anita told her thanks very much but I didn’t need help.
Baseball’s not as good a Texas sport as football, or just taking a jog to shoot some coyotes, but it has its place. And during my tenure as Governor, the Texas team leads the Houston team 43-31. That’s because we have a balanced budget and a surplus. And tonight, during my tenure as governor, the Rangers won 4-2, with 3 home runs. It’s great to be a Texan.