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  • You’re Never Alone With A Schizophrenic

You’re Never Alone With A Schizophrenic

Posted on May 20, 2012 by Ron Brand in Featured, Game Recaps

WP: C. Lewis (4-3)
LP: J. Lyles (0-1)

It just goes to show you that if you can’t hit and you can’t pitch, you can’t win.

Jordan Lyles had zero command today, giving up five runs in the first inning en route to a 6-1 Ranger win. The surprise is that he lasted for 117 pitches and that he only gave up five in the first, because the only place he could throw his pitches with any regularity was right over the middle of the plate.

“The first inning, I didn’t have a clue where it was going for the most part,” said Lyles after the game. “My mistakes were over the plate. No one to blame but myself. I didn’t do a good job of minimizing my mistakes and sticking to giving up that one run instead of five.”

No doy.

Five hits and one walk were all the Astro bats could muster against Lewis and Ross. The only one that counted was Lowrie’s sixth home run in the ninth, and it counted as little as a solo home run possibly can.

Losing all the air from Saturday night’s big win was just another cold slap in the face for the fans. After the first inning, both teams were on cruise control, taking the highway to the postgame buffet – steak on one side, shitburgers on the other.

The sorry excuse for a ballclub from Chicago steams into town tomorrow. Let’s hope they get the buttkicking they deserve from the Mr. Hyde version of the Home Nine, and not some Loser’s Tonic from Dr. Jekyll.

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