Only three days left till the beginning of the 2011 Void. Another baseball season has come and gone; Limey’s Scarlett told Ryan she just doesn’t give a damn, Thunderpants is now perfecting his g00gly-eyed face melting roaming of right field as a pHucking pHillie, and Sweet Baby Bourn is tomahawk chopping his way to a possible playoff berth. Despite all of this, we still have baseball. Astros baseball. National League, no friggin DH baseball. Baseball is our one constant through all the years. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But baseball has marked the time. This field, this game: it’s a part of our past and a part of our future. But enough plagarism, lets get on to the Turdinal bashing….
Screw Larussa.
Screw Pooholes.
Screw Berkman.**
Fuck ’em. Fuck ’em all. Go Astros.***
OK, more plagarism. But how can you say it better?
Monday, 7:05 p.m.Wandy gets the start versus Garcia who is 0-3 with a 5.91 ERA against the Astros. Now Garcia has something to prove, hasn’t lost since late August, and Wandy, well, as 11-11 shows you, has just been fair to middlin’ most of the season, despite success against the Cards this year. I hate to say it, but this just feels like a loss.
Tuesday, 7:05 p.m.Westbrook faces Sosa in the penultimate game of the season. For you Fredia types out there, that big word means next to last. The self-named Jake is 1-1 in his last two starts, and has had a pretty decent season, but I am the Walrus has his number, sporting a hefty man-sized thunderthighs .800 average against him. Sosa has never had the pleasure of sticking it to the redbirds; I am hoping he stomps the ever-livin shit outta them until they are lying on the concrete suffering from extreme rigor(haven’t I seen that somewhere before??).
Wednesday 7:05 p.m.Carpenter faces Myers for the season finale. Personally, I would rather see the two in a barbed wire cage death match. I would definitely put my Benjamins on Myers. As far as a baseball game goes, I hate to say it, but I think Carpenter leaves it all on the mound and pulls out the win.
Injuries
Co-ards–Lynn and Wainwright. LaRussa ripped them a new one and sent them out for the season a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away…..
Astros–Get with the program. If you don’t know Arias, Escalona, Michaels, Norris, Castro and Lyon are done this year, then screw you, where have you been?
Stuff. Or not.
Fan appreciation day was yesterday, so you have to settle for nothing on Star Wars Night (WTF??–they should at least give out golden metal bikinis to the hot chicks and make them wear them to the game. That might put a few AIS). Or the next day. But you get a team poster if you show up on Wednesday.
Random stuff
I want to express my appreciation to the new guys on the block who did such a great job this year. Ebby and OSF, you saved my ass on more than one occassion. RB, your recaps exposed us to a side we didn’t know you had, dadgumit, you can write! And how do those regulars keep putting out previews and recaps that make us laugh, cry, love, hate, and ponder from series to series and game to game? And to every poster– this multifarious group from 94CougarGrad to ybbodeus–kept us sane during an insane season. Thanks to each and every one of you. We will see you again tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel………
And just in case you need an extra dose of Turdinal hate….
Screw Larussa.
Screw Pooholes.
Screw Berkman.
Fuck ’em. Fuck ’em all. Go Astros.