Not If You Were The Last Lefty On Earth
(apologies to the Dandy Warhols . . . Andy Warhol . . . phenobarbital . . . etc.)
I never thought you’d win the game because scoring runs is so passe
Like today
If you think that’s not depressing and all-in-all a fucking pain
you’re insane
Or you’re a fool who doesn’t care if his win-loss doesn’t match his ERA
In a way
It was still close when Mills pulled you but the bullpen let the game get away
Like every day
But I never thought you’d get the ‘W’ because scoring runs is so passe . . .
CHICAGO 5, Houston 1
July 23, 2011
Wrigley Field
WP: Wells (2-3, 6.17)
LP: W. Rodriguez (6-7, 3.60)
CHICAGO (SnS) – The lowly Chicago Cubs topped the lowly-er Houston Astros here on the north side of Chicago this afternoon, 5-1. The Cubs rode a fine performance by starter Randy Wells, who had pitched so poorly in his several previous starts that he was on the verge of being booted out of the Cubs not-so-outstanding rotation. Against Houston, he gave up one earned run in six innings of work, and probably saved his job. Meanwhile, the Astros wasted another sterling outing by veteran lefty Wandy Rodriguez, who allowed three hits and two runs in seven innings, but lost anyway.
Though the announced attendance at the game was over 40,000, it appeared to me there were a lot of empty seats at Wrigley. Or maybe the crowd shots coincidentally happened when all the Cubfans were on the concourses buying more Old Style, or in the urinals pissing it out. Either way, they didn’t miss anything. It was a boring game played by two hapless, boring teams going nowhere . . . pretty much just going through the motions, it looked like.
These games are getting harder and harder to watch. I do want to thank the Cubs management for scheduling this one in the daytime, so I don’t have to waste part of my Saturday evening watching it. In fact, I watched today’s game in between sitting around my neighbor’s swimming pool, drinking beer and watching her lay out in the sun in part of a bikini. By way of disclosure, there may have been parts (of the game) I was distracted during, or missed entirely. As far as this summary goes, I don’t think it matters.
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