GAWD, I am so fuckin pumped. RED SAWKS! I got my tickets and I AM FUCKIN THERE. Gawd. Sawks. This is the best man, I love the fuckin SAWKS. That fuckin Reddick man, he’s fuckin great, and that fuckin Pedroia man, he’s fuckin great, and Ortiz, man, fuckin who’s your daddy? Fuckin who’s your daddy? Sawks!!!! Gawd!!! Fuckin great!!! (kudos to NeilT)
Another home game that will be more like a roadie for the ‘Stros, there will surely be louder cheers for the visitors, and more Red Sox paraphernalia branded across bald heads and beer bellies than pairs of stilletos at a stripper convention. And those Sawks fans have their own special brand of suckitude now that they have no Bambino curse to ruminate and then regurgitate with great pleasure. A piece of their being has been lost, what makes them special now? Ben Affleck? Big PortaPapi? Memories of ketchup stained socks?
Friday, July 1, Norris vs Wakefield 7:00 p.m.
Wakefield is coming off a 6 inning, 7 hit, 5 earnies appearance against the Piroots, and may represent the only friggin chance the hometown 9 have to win one versus the skipper’s former team. Only two Astros have faced Wakefield, Carlos is 9 for 24 with 2 HR, while Jason Michaels is 1-3 with 2 walks. Norris has been tagged with a 1-2 record in his last four starts, despite giving up only 5 earned runs over those games. Norris has held Adrian Gonzalez to a .000 BA, but has not faced any other Sawks in his career.
M*A*S*H* Report
| Red Sox | Player | Pos | Injury | Expected Return |
| Jacoby Ellsbury | CF | Illness | Doubtful for July 1 at Houston | |
| Daisuke Matsuzaka | SP | Elbow | 60-day DL. Out for the season | |
| Kevin Youkilis | 1B | Ankle | Probable for July 1 at Houston | |
| Clay Buchholz | SP | Back | 15-day DL. Out until at least early July | |
| Carl Crawford | LF | Hamstring | 15-day DL. Out until at least early July | |
| J.D. Drew | RF | Eye | Probable for July 1 at Houston | |
| Rich Hill | RP | Elbow | 60-day DL. Out for the season | |
| Jed Lowrie | SS | Shoulder | 15-day DL. Out untl at least early July |
| Astros | Jeff Keppinger | 2B | Illness | Doubtful for July 1 vs. Boston |
| Alberto Arias | RP | Shoulder | 60-day DL. Out until at least late August | |
| Jason Bourgeois | RF | Quadriceps | 15-day DL. Out until at least mid-July | |
| Brandon Lyon | RP | Bicep | 15-day DL. Out for the season | |
| Humberto Quintero | C | Ankle | 15-day DL. Expected to begin Triple-A rehab assignment July 1. Out until at least early July | |
| Jason Castro | C | Knee | 15-day DL. Out until at least early September |
Attempts to get Astros Fans AIS
Friday, July 1 RALLY TOWELS- not to be confused with the Rally Towlie
Saturday, July 2 Patriotic Fireworks–not to be confused with the regular Friday night fireworks the night before, all of these fireworks have been wrapped in genuine imitation copies of the Declaration of Independence.
Sunday, July 3 Brett Myers Bobblehead–When you shake the head you can hear Myers yell, “C’mon Thunderpants, hit the fuckin’ cutoff man!”
Well shit….
Why does life always throw me a curve on Series Preview days? Obviously, I am not finished with this preview, and the first pitch is scheduled for oh, about 10 minutes from now…..so I am posting this for all to read, then will continue to update it during the game……